My relatives, in Korea

Flickerdays · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: My relatives, in Korea

My mom has advanced endometrial cancer. It's horrible. She's in bed most of the time and her mind is foggy because of pain drugs. She's Korean, I was born in the U.S. and don't speak the language. I'm an only child, and my dad is deceased. I tried to get my mom to call her brother in Korea, but she wouldn't do it. I think she didn't want them to worry. They talk, but not often. My relatives over there don't speak English. What do I do, do I call them? She can barely talk. I don't know how to handle this. My mom doesn't have many Korean friends here because we haven't lived in the Chicago area long.
I'm just lost on so many different levels.
_________________
max
http://www.flickerdays.blogspot.com

brainman · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:39 pm Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Max, I am so sorry to hear about your mother's cancer! It must be even harder for you since you have so little contact with your family in Korea. Before contacting them, I would try to convince your mother that she needs to inform them. If she agrees to let you call but is unable herself to talk, AT&T has a phone translation service. I used to have their number but I am sure any AT&T long-distance operator can place you in contact with the appropriate person.

Best wishes.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Flickerdays · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:45 pm Post subject: relatives

Hi Jim,
Thanks for the quick reply. I didn't know they had a translation service. That's great.
I read your story. I started a blog to help get this stuff out. I wish I could do more for her.
_________________
max
http://www.flickerdays.blogspot.com

brainman · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:17 pm Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Max, as part of my self-assigned job I look at each new member's website link and just found your block. Nice blog! Unfortunately, although I do have a block, I do not post to it very often so it is woefully out of date Smile

_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

jfkbluecircle · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:40 am Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Hi, Max,
I was so touched by your post that I checked out your blog; you are a beautiful writer: honest, strong, real.

I wish I could give you some comfort as you are enduring this unbelievable suffering along with your mom. I, too, am very close with my mother. There are no words to express the bond between mothers and daughters.

Your mother must be an amazing woman, too, and you are honoring her greatly with your care and love. I will pray for you all as the days pass.

Good writers have an amazing ability to help us feel connected to something universal in us all when we read their words. The following poem is attributed to Hsiao Kang and I think it captures the mystery of life:

"Green leaves
That dawn after dawn
Grow yellow,
Red cheeks
That fade
With the passing days--
If our world
Is made up
Of such changes
As these,
Is it strange
That my heart
Is so sad?"

I am glad you have found this website; I hope it may help you know how many others are having similar experiences, and that there are people who care and are here to listen.

Wishing you peace in your days,
Jessica

Flickerdays · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:16 am Post subject: Hi Jessica

Thanks for your nice words and I like the poem. Where are you in Indiana? I graduated from IU and grew up in the northeast corner of the state.
_________________
max
http://www.flickerdays.blogspot.com

jfkbluecircle · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:55 pm Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Hi, Max,
I am in Lafayette attending Purdue, but grew up in NW Indiana (Valpo). My mother had breast cancer a number of years ago and went to Rush Presbyterian in Chi-town for her tx. I read on your blog about the challenges you have had with doctors and communication among them about a patient's many needs.
As if you needed something else to deal with, huh?

Did you study writing at IU?

Best,
Jessica

Flickerdays · Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:09 pm Post subject: Hi Jessica

I studied journalism and have been a print journalist since I left. But I'm not working now as all of this goes on.
What about you? What are you studying
_________________
max
http://www.flickerdays.blogspot.com

jfkbluecircle · Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:57 am Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Hi, Max,
Just wanted to check in, say hi, wondering how you are doing. My mom came to visit yesterday (I am in the thick of trying to plan our wedding and she is hovering), and she is a member/works for a large Catholic parish in Valparaiso (5,000+ members). I told her about you and your mother and she is putting your family on a prayer list. I had cancer, too, ten years ago and countless people prayed for me when I was sick.

Please know there are many who are praying for peace and strength for you and your mother, who are meditating on you, your life, and your mother's life.

Best wishes,
Jessica

Flickerdays · Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:11 am Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Hey Jessica,
Your wedding? That's wonderful. When is it? Thanks for checking on me. Keep me undated at factsbymax@gmail.com. I'm living vicariously through my friends these days, you know, I just love their little bits of happiness or drama or gossip or whatever. It's the beauty of the internet.
Thanks so much for the prayers. Mike is Catholic, and I'm learning more and more about it constantly. My mom has always loved Mother Teresa. Your thoughts really mean a lot to me.
max
_________________
max
http://www.flickerdays.blogspot.com

Flickerdays · Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:15 am Post subject: Re: My relatives, in Korea

Oh, Jess, and another thing. If your mom knows of people who are caregivers - or anyone who might be interested - feel free to pass on the blog. I'm really interested in hearing from these folks.
_________________
max
http://www.flickerdays.blogspot.com

obs · Regular Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 28

Hi Max, I am Korean also living in Chicago, my father currently has cancer, which is why I joined this site. Korean mothers do so much for their children, they are so dedicated, I am sorry for your loss.

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