New member

galvi5 · Regular Joined: 21 Feb 2005 Posts: 13 Location: Illinois

Hello Ladies,
My name is Sue, I am 38 years old and live in Illinois. I was diagnosed 6/o4 with a 1.9cm, grade 3, invasive ductal ca. Lumpectomy w/negative nodes. I had 4 rounds of chemo and 35 radiation treatments. I started tamoxifin 2 months ago.

My question is does this black cloud that follows me everywhere ever go away. I just can't get the feeling out of my head that there's more cancer in my body. Are these normal feelings?

I see my onc. tomorrow. Hopefully she can put my mind at ease.
Thanks for listening!

Sue
_________________
Age 38
dx-6/04, Stage I, grade 3
1.9cm, invasive ductal ca
lumpectomy-rt breast negative nodes
ER/PR +,Her2+
4 A/C, 35 rad
Tamoxifin, 5 yrs

Minnlady13 · Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:45 pm Post subject: Re: New member

Hi, Sue, welcome to our corner of the internet. I hope you know that the neg. nodes is good news. It is the best indication that the cancer did not travel beyond the breast. The head may know that, but sometimes it's hard to accept that fact. I know.

I sure relate to your feeling of being under a "black cloud." That's exactly how I felt, too. At the first anniversary of my diagnosis, I remember too well sitting in my onc.'s office with my head on his desk saying, "I know I am well, that I am all right, but I don't feel like it. I don't feel hopeful or optimistic." He suggested I see a therapist for some counseling, and I have been on antidepressants ever since. They help a lot. I know many women who fight cancer-related depression, so it is not that unusual. Don't hesitate to ask for help if you think it might help you. Please stay in touch and let us know how we can help. Hugs, Lauri
_________________
Diagnosed 4/11/1996
Lumpectomy, 6 mm tumor
Neg. nodes
ER/PR+
33 rads
Tamoxifen, 5 yrs.
NED

Muttsmom · Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 10:20 pm Post subject: Re: New member

Hi Sue,
There will come a time that you'll think about cancer everyday, but more of a passing thought instead of consuming your thoughts.
You and your onco were very smart for you to take chemo even though you didn't have any positive nodes. With or without nodes, you never know what will happen, but in my opinion your onco was right in giving you the AC since there is no accurate test that can tell if the cancer had gotten into your blood stream. She wanted to make sure you had every chance possible to never have to deal with this disease again and the odds are definately in your favor that you won't.

I was dx Stage III, 5.5 cm tumor and 9+/16 nodes and 3 years later I'm doing well. My chances are greater then you statically that I'll have a reoccurence, but even us with positive nodes can respond well to chemo and radiation. It's not an automatic gloom and doom situation. I think that black cloud will always linger until a Cure is found, but it won't consume your thoughts the more time that passes.

Hang in there girl, you're doing great!!!!!!!! and your thoughts are very normal. My onco did put me on Paxil during treatment because I was dealing with more then the BC at the time, not to say I wouldn't have needed it anyway. It's a very emotional and scary time, but treatment has come a long way.

Nancy
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04

penelopez · Senior User Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 165

Hi Sue,

Welcome to our boards!

It's very normal to be haunted by the "black cloud" hanging overheard. However, we have to find a way of dealing with that nasty cloud and not letting it overtake/interfere with our lives -- can't let the cancer win.

Yes, I am "pollyanna" and some folks don't like this. However, what is the alternative -- negative and miserable? I find the best way to handle the fears is to come to support boards because people at the boards understand how you feel. Others who have not gone through it (esp. those close to us) sometimes feel that it's over when the treatments are over.

I tell myself that I feel good so the cancer IS probably gone. Also, we have to remind ourselves that most women who are diagnosed and treated will never have a recurrence. I like to think I am one of those women.

Here is a good support group for younger women: www.youngsurvival.org

Many women belong to more than one support group -- you get different things from different groups. Does that make sense? LOL Anyhow, we hope you will continue to post here, but please visit that site, too. Younger women have very different concerns and issues when confronted with BC.

Take care, good luck and sending hugs,

Margie

Divine1 · Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 11:07 pm Post subject: girlfriend

Hey there sisterfriend,
See I told you this board is truly wonderful and they all come together and help answer your questions if you have any.
I am really glad you figured it out and now you are on board.

Hope you are feeling better and you know I am alwyas here for you.
In sister Love,
Tammy
_________________
Tammy 43 yrs old ,Wife to Doug for 25 yrs
Mom to two kids, Comp Hyst 1/90
Ant, Post Fus 10/02,,Cerv Fus 8/03 Dx. Lob B/C 12/18/03 19 nod Neg Stge 2, ER Post. Mast lft w/expan, Rt Mast 6/03 imp. 11-03 Imp Finished .7/03 Arimidex 5 yrs.

Blondie · New User Joined: 23 Feb 2005 Posts: 3 Location: New York

Hi Sue and All,

I am new here and I was delighted to find this site. We can all relate well to that dark cloud Sue but in time, it doesnt follow you quite as often. What we new as a normal life before breast cancer no longer exists so we have to move on eventually and create a new normal. In the fullness of time we don't allow cancer to consume us and the goal is to resume quality of life.

I was diagnosed with ILC 6/99 with no node involvement. On 6/2002, I was diagnosed with ILC with no node involvement on the opposite breast as it mirrored itself. I absolutely agree with MuttsMom in that with or without nodes, no one can truly predict because there are many variables to a diagnosis sometimes so everyone is different but treatment indeed is the best line of defense.

Right now your experiencing post traumatic stress which we can all relate so please know that your feelings are very normal. Remember to take things one day at a time and in the mean time, your doing great. Your reaching out for emotional support and healing emotionally is most important because when you heal emotionally, you not only survive but you start living again.

Sending mega hugs.......
_________________
-Eleanor-
I'm a 2x Survivor

leo · Site Admin Joined: 23 Sep 2004 Posts: 1574

Hello

Welcome to all new users. We have a great community here. Please feel free to post about anything. With the many excellent users we have we can discuss a lot about many many things.

If you can, please encourage other folks to join our forums. It will remain as it is, absolutely free and independent.

best regards,
Leo
_________________
Leonardo F - Webmaster Cancer Forums
Disclaimer: this information is for informational purposes only. It is not medical advice.

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