Girlfriends mum has Spinal Cancer

Perad · New User Joined: 23 Jan 2007 Posts: 2

My gf's mum had breast cancer before i met her, she fought it off and has since had cancer return in her eye, she also got the cancer removed from there as well.

Recently she was diagnosed with cancer of the spine. She told her daughter that is was in her lower spine. My girlfriend cried a lot and i was my merry self saying everything will be fine. She has been receiving chemotherapy and hasn't really taken to well to it. She keeps being ill and it is not that regular as her blood count keeps dropping.

Today my girlfriend found out that the cancer is in all of her mum's spine, not just the bottom where she originally said. I am not really concerned about the cancer, its more the fact that she lied about it. Does that mean that it is worse than she has put on?

In truth i want to know just 3 things.

Firstly chemotherapy, is it usually really sporadic. She has it set for every 2 weeks. She has a blood test on the Friday before and if her blood count is low the doctors postpone it. Is this normal?

Is an inoperable cancer bad? Or can it also mean a minor cancer which is in an awkward position

I just want to know what she is going up against, if she is going to die i would like a heads up. (That sounds a bit callous but in truth it would help me support my gf a lot if and when the time comes.) How would i approach her to ask how things are going? She always seems jolly but i get the feeling that she might be keeping her true condition secret. Does anyone have any advice on how i would go about finding out what her true condition is?

brainman

Perad, I wish I knew how to comfort you with better news. However, in reply to your question about “inoperable cancer,” it is probably both of the alternatives you suggest. If you can, ask this question to your girlfriend’s mother’s doctor. However, metastasis of a breast cancer is not good, especially if it is on the spine. I will keep you, your girlfriend, and her mother in my thoughts and prayers.
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Perad · New User Joined: 23 Jan 2007 Posts: 2

Thanks for you words of kindness, unfortunately she died in hospital on the 25th January. She developed a brain bleed on Wednesday night and fell into a coma. Soon after doctors said she wouldn't recover.

Its been a sad few days and my girlfriend has had a few regrets. One of which was that her mum was unable to meet my parents. She also keeps thinking about how her mother won't be there for key events in her life.

I find the most saddening thing is that i made a post here 2 days before thinking in my mind that she will probably be fine... if only i had knew.

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 796 Location: UK

So sorry about this sad loss - but take comfort that she is no longer in pain and that there was not a long drawn out time of suffering. Sudden death has its benefits though it is always hard for those left to mourn.

lifestooshort · Regular Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 19

Perad,

I know how your girlfriend feels. My mother passed away last October and whilst I still miss her very much I am coping with her not being around anymore.

However I still feel so sad that she never really got to know my boyfriend or his parents and she won't see me marry or have children.

Everything good now that happens to me is slightly tinged with sadness, because she's not around to see it.

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