Its really bloody hard!

Abbey122 · New User Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 4

Hi all i just wanted to post another quick little mesage about how im feeling... at the moment im so surprised at the way im dealing with this whole thing i mean its only been just over 2 weeks since my dad died i see my mum has her major breakdowns and stuff and i think to myself ok so shes grieving but wen i think about how ive dealt with the last few weeks i honestly dont think ive dealt with it at all i mean you have your moments like when your tired and you just burst into tears over nothing but in terms of realising this is reality now it really hasnt hit me! i know you cant put a time on these things and everybody grieves differently but i just cant seem to feel right i think about the fact that hes not around all day long and it makes me so upset but i just dont accept it i dont think! for eg: i get phone calls asking for him and i just say that hes not home, i cant tell people that dont know hes passed away that he actually has..its really difficult! Also i catch myself thinking about the future sooooooooo much i mean im only 19 i think about my wedding... i wanted him to be there so much and walk me down the aisle and stuff. also i think about my children not knowing there grandpa and things like that is so hard to deal with! but anyway just wanted to get that out of me its been a few days and i am not the type of person to voice things to people i love so its just easier for me to do it on here... thanks!

ElaineC · Regular Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 22 Location: UK

It is very hard. I lost both of my parents when I was 13 and 15. I've never stopped missing them and it's 40 and 38 years since they died. But you do learn to live with the loss.

fatherson · Regular Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 29 Location: Nottingham

I agree with elaine and i also relate to your feelings too.
In fact i considered going to the doctors...however i knew that i wanted to grieve without the help of tablets and stuff. All that stuff can lead to addiction and only mask ones true feelings.
I miss my dad everyday and that wont change...you wont ever get over what happened but you will adjust and accept the fact as time marches on.
All i can say love is cry if your gonna, talk if you want to and never be afraid to express your feelings... to anyone...You have a heart and soul so its your job to feel pain, loss and love.
Im a spirtual guy if not religous, and i feel my dads pressance...im sure you will too.
Make your dad proud sweet, you...we all...will have bad and good days...but our dads are watching over us.
I am sorry i can not be of a more constructive help i only hope you can feel a bond with people on this board and feel that you are not alone...a small tonic for the pain i know.
Good luck and keep us all posted....and dont be afraid of expressing your emotions....thats this boards job!
Speak later.
andy. Smile

_________________
Time is a virtue, spend it wisely.

ElaineC · Regular Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 22 Location: UK

Good advice from fatherson there especially about trying to avoid taking prescription drugs (or any others) to try to help you through your grief. Any relief they bring is only temporary, they often make things worse in the long run.

Do talk as much as you can particularly to people who knew your Mum and Dad.

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