my family is falling apart

Danni27 · New User Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 2 Location: Florida

I'm new here. My name is Dannielle and I am 19 years old. My family has found out that my step-father (who has raised me and my brother as his own) has lung cancer that has now spread to his lymph nodes. He has been in alot of pain everyday and I can hear him crying alone in his room when nobody is around. He has had to shut down his business and we are now losing our house without his income. My mother is shutting down. She doesn't get out of bed beside going to work. And I don't know what to do. Having them suffer and i'm trying to keep it all together. I have thoughts about taking my own life.
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Danni

MarkS · Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 10:24 am Post subject: Re: my family is falling apart

Danni,
I'm so sorry this is happening. There's one thing I know for sure, you can't do this alone. You have to find someone you can sit and talk with. You need support, not just for you but for the family too.
Do you or your family have any religious affilliations you could call on? If not, a doctor, counselor, a wise old auntie? You have to find someone Danni and you have to do it now. Please!
We can encourage you here but we can't give you the support you need, not over the internet. We care and we'll do what we can but you really need help that's closer to home.
Keep posting here too though and let us know how you're doing.

Take care and know I'm praying for you and your family,
Mark
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When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

riveramstel · New User Joined: 08 Mar 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Amsterdam

Danni

I can only begin to imagine the problems you are facing now, but can appreciate the kinds of emotions you are going through, particularly if this is the first time. When cancer is diagnosed it can feel like your whole world has caved in.

People have different ways of dealing with cancer psychologically, and different outlooks on what may or may not happen. Unfortunately, we cant control how people react. We just have to be there for them. My family seems to be surrounded by it - my mother and uncle are both sufferers, as was I some years ago, but somehow I am still here. And that is literally the way it works - it is often senseless, and never fair.

You have to face it day, by day, by day, and try your very best to sustain and fight the despair cancer creates. The despair, I believe, is its most negative effect - on the relationships of those who are involved. Cancer makes life feel unliveable, like a punishment, which is what you are feeling now, but you are so much more than that.

Keep posting. I am a novice poster here too, and your story deeply moved me. Your are not alone in dealing with this, not at home, and most certainly not here.

Hopefully we can hear more from you soon.

Danni27 · New User Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 2 Location: Florida

I want to thank you all so much. I was searching for kind words from people who understand the pain I am going through and I appreciate it so much. I will be sure to keep everyone informed, and also I am taking your advice and talking to close friends and my grandmother. You cannot imagine what your words have done, I have found hope that i'm going to hold on to. I am trying to look on the bright side of things, and I am living and loving my family while we are all here together. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. I will be doing the same for both you and your loved ones! <3
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Danni

riveramstel · New User Joined: 08 Mar 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Amsterdam

Hey Danni

I'm glad to hear you are coping a little better now.

It's cruel, but you can get through it. It's obviously difficult to truly appreciate the way you must feel through a forum like this, but I hope you can find some solace. Seek support whenever you feel you need it. There are always people here to help.

Take care, and be as positive as you can be.

John

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