Helping to care for Dad

bmdixon · New User Joined: 05 Feb 2006 Posts: 4

My father was diagnosed with Small cell lung cancer last April. He just turned 74 Feb 2nd. He had chemo and radiation theraphy during the summer months. In September he was told he was cancer free. By November he was experiencing severe back pain and was told in Dec that the cancer was now in the bones (hip, spine, ribs and scull). Last month we were told he had a couple of month to live. He was hospitalized for pnuemonia and elevated calcium levels. He is now at home doing very well. He is having chemo for pain management 3 weeks on and 1 week off. My question is, what can we expect next? Specifically. The only thing his doctor told us is that he will eventually want more pain medication. But being his caregivers, we would like to know what should we be aware of and what typically happens on the road to death. My mother can not believe he is dying because he IS improving. My father does not want palative care or (heaven forbid) hospice. He is probably in denial at this point. He is currently getting home health care along with his children being there. He is also diabetic and is loosing weight. Thank you for whatever information you can give me.

bmdixon · New User Joined: 05 Feb 2006 Posts: 4

I am all for alternative methods for treatment, but we can barely get my father to take fiber for his constipation due to the pain medication. I've made some suggestions to my mother but to no avail. I am a firm believer in alternative methods with my own health and they think I'm a bit "over the top" so...

Thank you for the website. I will certainly check into it.
Right now, he seems so well. He's getting out of bed, walking and he took a shower yesterday for the first time in months. He is on oxygen and has a nebulizer treatment a few times per day. His breathing has improved, but the doctors are not sure if the cancer is back in his lungs. All we know for sure is it is in several places in the bone. Thankfully at this point he has minimal pain.

We just can not believe he is that sick. His appetite is not good and he is slowly loosing weight. He has physical theraphy 3x per week and they seem to think he can do more, but he is very reluctant to exercise when the therapist is not around. They believe the stronger he is, the longer he will live.

I was told that eventually his major organs will begin to fail? Is this true? We just can't seem to find out what things to look for so we don't push him too much to get out bed or eat or whatever.

This is terribly hard - we feel helpless at times - a roller coaster of emotions. I can not even begin to imagine how he must feel. He won't talk about it. He won't see friends - they all want to come to visit, but he won't see them. He is just now allowing his grandchildren to come visit.

I know that palative care and hospice will help with the emotional and spiritual aspects of this, but he says he doesn't want that!

Thanks for your thoughts
bmd

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