My fiance think she might have cancer

Concerned · New User Joined: 19 Nov 2005 Posts: 1

My fiance think she might have cancer

The reason she thinks so are for several reasons.

Theres a family history. Grandfather died of cancer and her aunt is going through chemo/treatment as we speak.

Sinse about last April she has been dizzy and uncoordinated. She went to see a doctor who said that it might be an inner ear infection because she had water in her ears. He gave her dextromethorphan and a few other drugs to help with the dizzyness and loosens the bodily fluids to would make the water run out. The water went away and shes still just as dizzy as before. She sometimes trips walking out the door or standing up. She is 37 and healthy otherwise.

She found out her aunt who is going through treatment had the exact same symptoms for a year and was given the exact same meds.

She wont go see a doctor for these reasons:

Her aunt is going through treatment right now and is very sick. Her mother who is helping support her aunt has sever diabetes and could also die in a few months if the new medications to control her blood sugar dont start controlling sugar levels better. Her brother who also lives with her mother is a non-violent alcoholic. It basically comes down to her family being under a great amount of stress and she doesnt want to make it harder on them, and she doesnt think she can handle it.

She says she wants to wait a few weeks or a few months until her mental state is better because she believes that people with a positive attitude have a better chance of surviving. I have read that it is true that people who still have the "fight" in them have a better chance compared to those who dont have it in them anymore.

I tell her that waiting a few weeks could kill her. I tell her that the sooner she catches it, IF SHE EVEN HAS IT, the better her chances are. I tell her that once it takes off it could be a matter of mere weeks. I tell her that I dont want her to die. She says she cannot go to see the doctor. I have seen one of my fathers friends die in about 2 weeks from lung cancer. He was perfectly healthy and died suddenly.

I dont know what to do. I is killing me to sit here not doing anything knowing that her life is in danger, but I cant force her to go. If it turns out she doesnt have cancer and her life is not in danger I do not know if I could be with her anymore because of this. I realize its frightening, because I am scared too.

If anyone has any ideas about what to do I would be very greatful. I have asked my mother who is a nurse practitioner and has dealt with cancer patients and poeple in palative care and she says my fiance needs to see a doctor NOW. Please help this is killing me. Crying or Very sad

ladiexmack · New User Joined: 28 Nov 2005 Posts: 4

just let her know that she needs to take care of herself and be strong so that her family will have a foundation to build off of for strength. if she falls down and becomes weak, so will they. she should deal with her own problems first. that's what my family always tells me when i'm not feeling well. she always reminds me that my boyfriend needs my support and i can't let him down by being weak.

good luck!
_________________
-mackie

MarkS

You can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do and the more you try, the more she'll resist. She already knows what she needs to do but she's scared. She just needs to know that you'll support her and will be there for her no matter what. Just encourage her and be her rock.
_________________
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

brainman · Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 12:55 am Post subject: You too need suport

It is a very scary thing to think you have cancer? I know from personal experience. To have a loved one who thinks she might have cancer must also be a time of uncertainty also. I am glad for you that you have sought out this site to find answers and support.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Lisajane310 · New User Joined: 08 Sep 2005 Posts: 3

Symptoms can be very misleading.

For example, I suffered with terrible headaches and felt
unwell for many years, and I was convinced that I had
some kind of serious problem.

It turned out that I had very levels of calcium caused by
an enlarged gland. This was removed 2 years ago, and
since then I've felt like a different person.

LisaJane

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