Just found out my Mom has cancer.

Bersly · New User Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Pittsburgh

We just found out Friday that my mom has cancer. Liver and Lung. She was a smoker and a drinker (beer) but Im not sure how that affected it. She is going to see a specialist this week and will be starting Chemo soon. She doesnt want anyone to know except my dad, 3 brothers, my husband and my brothers wife. So while I do have people I can talk to about it, I cant confide in my friends about it, and Im having a hard time talking about it with my brothers since they are all dealing with it to. She doesnt want any of us upset, she is trying to stay positive...

I was wondering from those of you with caner or with family members with cancer, what are we in for? will she be able to keep it between just us if she is going through chemo? will she definantly lose her hair? How sick will she get from the chemo?

Teresa · New User Joined: 21 Mar 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Erie pa

Dear Bersly, Sorry to hear about your mother. My father has stage 3 non small cell lung cancer. We found out about it a Thanksgiving time. He started on radiation and chemo at Christmas time. Thankfully my parents live 3 miles from the Erie cancer center. My father was bald to begin with so hair loss was not a worry here. He did wonderful with the chemo. ( the radiation was everyday -5 days a week- for 6 weeks) The chemo was one day a week for 6 weeks. The radiation is what has taken its toll on him. His esophagus took a direct hit from the radiation. Swallowing has become very painful. Weight loss is a concern. The protein drinks such as Boost are great. My father likes his food. It is hard to watch him chew a bite of whipped cheese cake for 2 minutes before swallowing. Last thursday he began the last 3 chemo treatments. These treatments are separate from the 6 week rad/chemo. This is the Taxo-tere chemo. We were concerned about him taking this one. Symptoms are different from his normal chemo. (tingling in fingers and feet) This is monday 4 days since the taxo tere and no tingling. Very Happy

It has been one month since the last radiation treatment and the swallowing is still painful. The doctors say one day soon it will be back to normal. Our family was told the treatment should give him 18 to 24 months of life. At this point he says he will not go thru with a second round of radiation. At Thanksgiving time dad said no to chemo.... he changed his mind when the option was death. He always was a strong brave man, but this has been a challenge that has taken a lot of courage. He has missed one day of work- he works 7 days a week and is 68 years young. The will to live is powerful. Be there for your mom and she will be there for you. To answer your question of how ill your mother will get from the chemo- everyone is different. Chemo and radiation treatments can be stopped at any time, but no good will come of the treatment unless the full treatment is complete. Many of the women at the cancer center have lost their hair. The cancer center has women who teach patients how to wear a bandana or a hat. As to your question for what you are in for... knowledge about the cancer is powerful. I go with my dad even though my mother is there with him, to the cancer center. It is a help to me. Even if I only take him a milkshake to have during his 4 hour chemo treatment, it is something I can do. Have a good sense of humor. Laugh. Call your mom a little more often. Tell her you love her. Cancer has a way of bringing a family closer.

hhmv73a · Experienced user Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 95

Dear Bersly,

Sorry to hear about your mother. I am a radiation oncologist but at the same time I am also a family member of a cancer patient. My uncle died of liver cancer about 20 years ago. It is very difficult for the patient and the family to cope with the news, especially after the initial diagnosis. However, we all have to face that and eventually we need to fight the disease together.

For cancer with metastasis, the treatment is mainly chemotherapy. Side effects of chemotherapy are very different, depend on the type of regimen physicians use. Hair loss is not common, but does not happen always. Other common side effects include nausea and vomiting, fatigue, mucosal ulceration, etc.

Some patients tolerate chemotherapy very well and may not have obvious side effects, but some may suffer a lot.

Hope your mother will tolerate the treatment well, and hope there will be good response to the treatment too.

Good luck,

Dr. J. Jay Lu

Raposa · New User Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 2 Location: France

Hello Bersly,

Sorry about your mother and yourselves who are all affected. I?ve just finished a very intensive course of combination chemo and radio therapy that lasted 4 months for a lung (bronchial) tumour (limited small cell carcinoma)? 2 sessions of chemo (each took 3 nights in hospital then 2 weeks to recover at home) then once-a-day radio sessions for 15 days and then 2 more chemos. Glad to say that it was successful, the tumour was wiped out and so far no others have been found. BUT to try to help with some of your questions (1) both the chemo and radio therapies had rough side effects but mostly relieved immediately and very well with only a couple of different drugs for ex. anti-nausea, anti-inflammatory, easier swallowing etc. and it hasn?t been as bad as a lot of people said it would be (2) find and contact your local cancer support group, very important to have others with personal experience to talk and listen to, for your mother but also for you, your family is not enough (3) don?t let your mother or anyone else feel guilty about the cancer, a lot of people who get lung cancer never smoked and drinking doesn?t necessarily cause liver cancer that I know of (4) why hide it from others? There?s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, the more people who know about it the more to help you and your family, and you?ll be amazed to discover that almost every adult has or had personally or a relative or close friend with some form of cancer. Also, very very important, (5) stick to modern medical treatment, do not spend money on so-called alternative therapies, they don?t work and are often even dangerous by making things worse. (6) Keep hope always, statistics and numbers are just averages, they don?t apply to individuals. Hope this helps.

pat devitavessa · Regular Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 25

Hello There Bersly,

I am the new therapist online here. I hope that you are doing small things to help yourself, (nails done, hot bath with candles). You have lost some of your support system and this must way heavy on you. Not all losses have to do with death. Making a move away from friends, having a pet run away and not come home or even graduation, fall under some type of loss. Certainly, you must have very strong feelings. I am happy to see that you came to Cancer Online. I hope that you find this a good place to help meet your needs. Because you have had a loss of support I am going to recommend a handbook for you. James and Friedman are the authors and the title is, The Grief Recovery Handbook. I think you will find it useful in many situations. If you do read the handbook, please let me and others know if it was of any help to you.

My Best Regards,

Pat
_________________
Pat DeVita-Vessa, MFT

This is a dislaimer that this is not medical advice only information to help you

DPDBLUES · New User Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Michigan

I found out my mom has Cancer Cells in her blood, dont have any other info on her yet. I will include you in my prayers. Sorry I could not offer any more support.
_________________
If you dont know ASK, if you know TELL

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others