I need some insight

cheswick · New User Joined: 03 Jul 2009 Posts: 2

Hello,

I am new to this forum and this is my first post. It isn't regarding me, but my finance's 83yr old great aunt.

About 4 months ago, Auntie was having chest pains from a bout of pneumonia. After a ct scan showed lesions on the lungs, her court appointed guardian, decided rather than to have a biopsy, she would just put her in hospice. Since than, even for things like a common cold and such, she isn't seen by a doctor. They just administer her 6 pain pills a day.(I think Percicet) and hycodine.

I am supposing she is addicted to the pills by now and am skeptical over if she is really in pain all the times she says she is. Also, keep in mind that she speaks very little English.

We really wanted to get a biopsy done and felt like calling hospice after a mere 2 days past her ctscan was way too sudden but there is nothing we can do. We tried to get guardianship of her but the magistrate denied us.

This is a quick version of the story. I guess I just want some feedback because I am wondering if I am wrong to think that she was mistreated or is the procedure by which her guardian took was right?

She has lost a considerable amount of weight. and she complains of pain in her stomach. We wonder if it is the amount of pills that she is taking. Who knows? I just want to help her but the fact that there is no diagnosis leaves that tiny sparkle of hope that maybe it is not cancerous.

I do know that since she started all of these meds, she isn't herself anymore. She used to come over and spend the weekend but now she just lays in bed. I don't really know what to do. Her guardian says that at Auntie's age, any type of treatment would be terrible and i really couldn't agree more. However, a proper diagnosis would not have been damaging.

We tried to explain to her that everyone thinks she has cancer accept us. we thought that it might cause her to reallize how important it was to try and eat as well as avoiding the pain meds as much as she could.

She instead, got mad at us and said she does not have cancer, she is just sick.

Sorry for such a long post. i look forward to hearing any insight at all in regards to this matter. we just want to help her.

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 2402

Hi,

Welcome to the forums. I hope you can get some information that will help.

Without a biopsy, they cannot make a cancer determination.

Was the Great-Aunt mentally sound prior to all of this happening? I'm wondering why she had a court appointed guardian at all -- especially when there is family around. Is the guardian a family member that you trust with her care?

It all sounds rather odd to me. Hospice care typically doesn't allow for any medical intervention or you get booted out. They ARE giving her heavy duty painkillers which would make her listless.

Weight loss could be from cancer, but also could be from not eating properly. Do you note her eating habits?

I DO understand your concern and worry that you are in a no-win situation if the courts are refusing to allow further tests to be done. I hate to hear that they just give up on someone based on a CT scan because she's elderly.

My heart goes out to you and your fiance. God bless the both of you for trying to do the right thing for your Great-Aunt. My parents had guardianship over my Great-Aunt and they sure as heck didn't treat her like that. How shameful.

Hugs,
PBJ
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cheswick · New User Joined: 03 Jul 2009 Posts: 2

she was ruled incompetent about 8yrs ago. My fiance is originally from Poland and at the time only had a student visa. Since she did not have permenant resident status, she was not granted guardianship. We have have been together 3yrs so I have always known her to be in assisted living.

This is her 3rd guardian. She has been in this position since 2004. Auntie was pretty independent up until all of this came about so i would say the guardianship was a pretty hands off job. We really thought that she would at least get a biopsy and when we inquired into why, we found out she was already in hospice.

We were furious. we begged the guardian to let us take her to a doctor. we even were willing to pay for it ourselves but to no avail. Since we were worried about not being able to take her off the premises, we wrote a letter requesting a hearing for guardianship.

My fiance was denied. Not only was she denied, she was teamed up on. I was not even allowed to be in the room where the hearing was and we didnt bring a lawyer. The guardian brought a lawyer who knew the magistrate as well as the head of her guardian agency.

Anyway. this is where we are now. We get to sit there and just watch her die. Thats how i feel anyway. I feel that she didnt get a fair chance. They never associate any of her issues with all of her meds.

One example was she had a terrible cold. My fiance is a nurse. she could see that it had nothing to do with cancer but when we tried to see about getting her antibiotics. the reply was..." yeah...its just the effects of the cancer."

Maybe she does have it. I would probably bet she does. However, I just find it crazy that she didn't even have the opportunity to have it properly diagnosed.

I fear that she is going to die, not from cancer, but from lack of treatment for anything else that might go wrong with her. Shes so drugged now, all she does is sleep. I could be wrong but the whole thing seems so criminal.

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