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eastender
New User
Joined: 23 Feb 2006
Posts: 7
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 Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 7:13 am Post subject: It feels so unreal. |
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Hello, I am a new member,so please be patient with me..I just cant explain the greyness and numbness I feel right now, my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer,which has spread to his liver..this was diagnosed about 2 months ago, which was a big big shock to me and my mum,who thought that my father just had a 'touch of indigestion' when he went to his doctor. These last two months have been unbearable, with my dad undergoing chemo for the very first time..which he understandably said was awful. He is so so thin, and I can only describe him as a kitten, so delicate and weak. I held him yesterday in my arms andhe cried and cried, I feel so helpless that I cant help him in some way, I would give my life for him if I could...the consultant at the hospital has painted a very bleak prognosis for my dad, and just couldnt believe my ears when he said what he did. My father is a proud man, very athletic, but now he is almost skeletal, and so embarrassed about his appearance, he has even put off seeing my two children, who also feel unable to see him, due to the horror of what he will look like. Please please someone tell me that all this will be okay, as I feel so empty and said for my darling dad, whom I love so so very much, to see him like this is heartbreaking, but I am with him most days and helpingout my mum, I dont have a big family or any brothers or sisters, so we are coping on our own. My mother and I say that we feel like we are in a dream..please please is there anyone else out there feeling like us? Any help would be so appreciated, best wishes and love. Gabby from London X
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joy13
New User
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 6
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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| Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 7:24 pm Post subject: foggy |
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Hi eastender,
My husband (45 ysr old) was diagnosed with esophagus cancer which had spread to his liver 4 1/2 moonths ago. He too is so very thin and weak due to muscle loss. I feel sometimes like it is a bad dream from which I will wake up. It has all gone so fast. He was never sick before now, not even heart burn so it's really unbelievable. He also doesn't want people to see him. It's very difficult for me because I think I would want to have family and friends visit; but I try to do as he asked. He is much more relaxed and comfortable with me and a quiet environment. Card from everyone are really great. The volleyball team we coach made a video to say hi and just silly things. It was very upbeat and fun.
Just let your dad know you support him and love him. Always be positive about his treatments and try to get him to eat anything he can. (My husband really likes Jello and cinnamon muffins) We have been having a nurse come to the house to give him IV fluids, this seems to have helped his appetite. It is so difficult to watch a loved one go through this. try to be strong for him and let him know you love him and believe he can beat this.
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Scared Spouse |
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Brenda
Regular
Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 11
Location: GA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: Re: It feels so unreal. |
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Gabby and Joy,
I know what you both are going through. I lost my husband (51) 2 weeks ago to esophageal cancer that went to the lymph nodes and to the bones. It is very sad to watch them just get thinner and thinner. My husband lost 100 pounds within the 10 months after his diagnosis. He was diagnosed in April 05. He had many problems along the way, but basically not cancer related. (infections, blood clots, etc) He actually did pretty good until Jan. 06. He went through his radiation and chemo with no real problem, but it didn't help. He went through another round of radiation the first part of Feb, and passed away a week later. He didn't want people seeing him either. He said he looked like a 90 year old man and couldn't stand to look at himself. The only advice I can give to you is to cherish every moment. Tell them things that you want to say to them now. This nasty cancer can come in and take them so suddenly. Don't procrastinate....let them know how much they are loved. Try to convince them to let the kids see them so they can say things they want to say. It is very hard, but the kids deserve to be able to say I love you, too. I am sorry to bring sad news, and I pray that things go differently for both of you, but please be prepared. My husbands death really caught me off guard, because it took him so quick.
I will keep your dad (Gabby) and your husband (Joy) in my prayers.
God Bless you both,
Brenda |
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