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Not sure how to deal What is this ?

 
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daisymaze
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Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 4
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:04 am    Post subject: Not sure how to deal Reply with quote
My dad passed in 12/05 from brain cancer. It started in his colon back in april 05, they did surgery and said he would be fine. Then it spread to his lungs, they treated it and treated it but no matter what they did nothing worked. None of the chemo or radiation. Then they told him it had went to his liver. Still none of the treatments worked.. then in december they told him he had brain cancer. He had tumors in the front, left and on his brain stem.
I had moved to florida the last week of april and hadnt seen him but talked to him everyday.. i flew home on dec 9, got to his house on the 10th and he died the next day..
The bad thing is i talked to him 2 days before i went home and he seemed fine.. and when i got there he couldnt talk, sit, stand, nothing he seemed so uncomfortable. Everyone tried to say he wasnt in pain, how couldnt he be in pain...
i just dont know how to deal with it especially since i had one day to come to terms of what was really going on... you can be told someone has cancer and u think it will be ok, its when u see that person that u realize how bad it is and how quick they go...
Sorry for going on and on.. i just need some advice on how to handle this... thanks Confused
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brainman
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Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4214
Location: Tennessee
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:36 am    Post subject: Re: Not sure how to deal Reply with quote
Daizemaze, each of us handless grief in our own way. It sounds like you are reaching out for support... and that is good. Find good support anywhee you can! And a hug or two never hurts. Your family is hurting now, so they will probably not be the best support, but you do need to include them in what you are experiencing. Most hospitals or hospices have some form of support groups for people who are grieving. I have even found one at a YMCA! Join one and share with them. If they are a good group, you should leave the meeting at least knowing you are not alone.

And, finally, you are not alone. I lost my mother to a primary brain cancer in 1998. Others here have also lost someone. So we can identify with your pain. It never really goes away... but it does get easier with time.
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/
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