brain metatasis - advice and info please

a few questions · New User Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Posts: 7

My brother has one lung tumour and 4 on the brain. Radiation on the brain was brought forward, due to problems with head pains and nausea. Over the past two weeks he has had at least 4 rounds of radiation.

After the first two rounds he was exhasuted and slept on and off for about two days. He was receiving all medication and nourishment intraveneously as he was unable to keep any food down. This meant he was unable at that stage to have his dexamethasone, for the swelling as apparently that needed to be taken with food.

Last week we were asked to prepare for the worst as he was in an "extremely deep sleep" when asked the doctors told us that there was a very fine line between this and a coma.

They are still not sure what caused this, whether medication, radiation or the illness itself. They now have him on low dose morphine and only crucial medication to check this, though they are adamant that the medication would not have knocked him out for that long.

He was unrousable, but woke nearly a dayand a half later.

He is atm tired, though eating well and alert. He has days where he is really conversant and others where it all seems a struggle.

Thursday he starts radiation on the lungs. He wants to go home now, but the hospital are trying to get him to accept hospice care. His wife will have none of this and refuses to talk to the palliative care team, as I believe she is afraid of what that could mean.

My understanding is that all treatment atm is palliative and that they will only do chemo if he gets physically stronger. The doctors aren't sure if the radiation on the brain is working, but have said it will be 6 weeks till they know.

Enough of my ranting, I would like to know realistically how much time he might he have. What course the illness will most likely take, ( I cannot seem to find this on any web site), and how to best help he and his family to come to accept the palliative care that is offered, whether at home or elsewhere.

Thanks

PS I don't know if it is small cell or non small cell cancer

Jaypee · Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:49 pm Post subject: Your brother

I feel terrible for your brother, you, his wife and the family.

I'm no expert, as my sister is currently undergoing chemo/conformal radiation for stage 3 lung cancer. She's very strong but it's taking it's toll on her.

As far as your brother, I suppose the best advice would be to do whatever he or his wife decide. Never give up though. Reality has a way of slapping people in the face without any chance to stop, listen, think & decide.

I'm sorry I have nothing to offer but my sincere hope for your brother & family....sometimes "hope" is all we have to hold onto.

Good luck and best wishes,

Sincerely,

Jay
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Wisdom, Serenity and Courage.

leo · Site Admin Joined: 23 Sep 2004 Posts: 1574

Hello

If he is in such a shape where he can not even take pills and is sleeping on and off, usually no treatment modality can really improve his survival. Unfortunately when it comes to such a point one has to really think about the quality of life left, and that's when hospice comes into play. It is tough when we have therapies that usually make people feel worse before they feel better, but when someone is doing so poorly most doctors would not offer treatment other than palliative measures.

best regards
Dr Leo
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Disclaimer: this information is for informational purposes only. It is not medical advice.

a few questions · New User Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Posts: 7

Thanks for the reply. Last week he couldn't take food and pills, but this week he can again. My gut feeling is that this roller coaster ride will continue for maybe weeks or at best a couple of months.

I know that hope is important, but I find when he talks of being cured and making it past 5 years, that it is upsetting, because from all I've read that is being too unrealistic.

Jaypee · Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 12:16 am Post subject: Your brother........

I just wanted to add something, which may not be appropriate or even comforting but in this war with cancer, all of us are often afraid or reluctant to give advice in the face of giving false hope. It appears you are being very realistic, but my true belief is sometimes when we are faced with such cruel reality we forget to be as optimistic as possible. Cancer has a way of eating at our souls as well as the body. One thing I've learned though, cancer may wear down the body but never the spirit.
Cancer affects everyone in different ways but one common trait of cancer is that when it afflicts someone we love, all kinds of emotions come into play. It's easy to succumb to what may or might be.
Although, easier said than done, NEVER GIVE UP.

I'm not suggesting to hang onto someone who can't hang on any longer. But I do think by hanging onto hope & dreams & maybe even prayers, it completely "validates" a loved one's life. When we truly believe in living every single breath, that in itself keeps our loved one's strong.

For now, at this very moment, talk to/with him, laugh with him, rehash your lifes. Make every second count. Even if you think he can't hear you....he does.

I'm not an extremely religious person, but I have discovered a "spiritual" belief that I never realized I was capable of. I will pray for your brother, I am thinking of you and your family every step of the way.......I'm praying for a miracle, but if prayers aren't anwsered, your brother will know how much you love him.

Keep us posted and all the best to you and your brother.....

Sincerely,

Jay
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Wisdom, Serenity and Courage.

a few questions · New User Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Posts: 7

Thanks so much Jay. My belief at the moment is that it is important to visit him every day and to enjoy those moments. I make a point to remember every conversation we had and what he says to me. When my father died 4 years ago, he spoke to each of us in turn before slipping into a coma for his final days. No matter how much I try I cannot remember what he said to me. I am determined that will not happen again.

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