Life expectancy - liver metastasis

MPapailiou

Hi all...
My mother has lung cancer with liver matastasis (multiple tumors, the bigger one 3cm) and bone matastasis (forehead). She is 64 years old. Doctors told us that she has 8-12 months to live. But then, a friend of mine whose father died from a similar case one year ago, told me that the doctors don't want to upset us, and that her case means 1 or 2 more months of life, because of the liver metastasis.
Is that true? I was planning on stop working on her final stage of her disease, does that mean I should stop working now and start spending more time with her? I can't get straight answers from doctors, I am so confused and upset!
Can anyone please share his/hers experience with me?
Thanks!

kanch · New User Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 7 Location: INDIA

Hi,

Sorry to hear about ure mother.
I lost my mother to liver cancer nearly 4 monts back and when she was initially diagnosed the doctor gave her 6 months to live, but she survived only for 20 days.
Please try and spend as much time possible with her..
my prayers are with u..
_________________
Kanchana Seshadri

MPapailiou

I really thank you for your reply. Sorry about your mother. Hope you're doing okay now. I"ll try and spend as much time as possible with mine right now...

kanch · New User Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 7 Location: INDIA

Hi,

Thanks for asking, im much better.. the only consolation we can have at this stage is that she is in a better place now and is not suffering anymore..
Please take care of ure mom and give her loads of love and spend time with her and this is the moment ul cherish for the rest of ure life.
Will surely pray for ure mother and ure family.
Take care
_________________
Kanchana Seshadri

Colessif · New User Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 6

[quote="MPapailiou"]Hi all...
My mother has lung cancer with liver matastasis (multiple tumors, the bigger one 3cm) and bone matastasis (forehead). She is 64 years old. Doctors told us that she has 8-12 months to live. But then, a friend of mine whose father died from a similar case one year ago, told me that the doctors don't want to upset us, and that her case means 1 or 2 more months of life, because of the liver metastasis.
Is that true? I was planning on stop working on her final stage of her disease, does that mean I should stop working now and start spending more time with her? I can't get straight answers from doctors, I am so confused and upset!
Can anyone please share his/hers experience with me?
Thanks![/quote]

this is the problem wiht cancer, there is no defenite answer of life expectancy, the doctors are people too, and they are just making their best guess, when my dad was diagnosed the doctor said before chemo: the prognosis is not good but you could go 1 month, 2 months, 6 months, a year, etc.

then when he was put on gemciabine (chemo) his doctor told him about people who have added months, years, and one of his patients was cured.

the thing is, we dont know when its gonna happen, my suggestion is spend as much time with your parent as much as you can, i think it helps take the hurt away. I try to spend 3-4 hours a day man to man with my dad, and i try to do things that he likes to do, and i also try to forget about what i wanna do, not becasue i have to, but because i want him to understand that i love him and make him feel not so a lone.

i hope i was helpful. best of luck, you never know, i believe in miracles in some form or another. Sad

MPapailiou

Thanks Colessif,

I guess that the best thing to do is to focus on how we can help our parents feel good and happy on the time that they have and not to focus on how much time they have...

Melanie Cadenhead

My mother got liver cancer after having had a blood transfusion over 40 years ago. The blood supply was not screened back then and she contracted hepatitis c, "the silent killer". Initially her g.p. gave her 2 months to live. That was 2 year sand 2 chemos embolizations ago. Unfortunately, because both hep c and liver cancer are essentially incurable the tumors are now larger and in greater number than they were a year ago. So far she is experiencing no symptoms so she's lucky. The oncologist doesn't think doing chemo again will work and the stress and ill effects afterwards will not be worth it. She is being included in a drug trial for a new drug call Sorafenib at the urging of her doctor, who is backing the trial. The problem is twofold: you never know if you're getting the drug or the placebo and the constant testing and poking and prodding and possible side effects make it a very undesirable affair. Then there's the fact that this is not a cure, just a prolongment of the inevitable.

My mom is only 67 years old. I'm the oldest of 3 kids, with 2 of my own. I'm supposed to be the 'strong" one, but I'm having a really difficult time with this. I can't imagine not having my mother around. And every time I've gotten used to the idea of it, she's somehow been brought back from the brink. This time, despite the trial, it looks like there's not going to be a happy ending.

I want to have an idea of what to expect. Liver cancer is not supposed to spread, is it? How long do patients suffer? What is my family going to have to watch her go through? We're all really scared and upset, but I think it would help us if we had an idea of how long a patient actually suffers in the end.

I've never joined a chat room before. I've got to say it's nice to see I'm not alone in my fears and my grief.
_________________
Melanie Cadenhead

paulsdaughter · Regular Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 14

Hi Melanie,
I'm so sorry about your mom. It's a hard road. I lost my dad to liver cancer in October. He was 59. Liver cancer can and does spread. My dad's spread to his bones & lungs. However, he died from liver failure. He was diagnosed in December 2004 & had a resection done in March 05. That was the only treatment he opted for. He also had underlying cirrhosis & a clot in the portal vein which complicated his treatment. He was afraid of chemo so I don't think it would have mattered anyway. Each person is different so what happened to my dad may not happen with your mom. My dad passed away on a Sunday. He worked the Friday prior to that. What basically happened was a gradual slowing down. He lost more and more weight and began to take naps during the day. His work day also got shorter and shorter. My dad complained of some moderate back pain and that was about all. We also had hospice in and they were wonderful. My dad didn't want them at first as he was still working and driving pretty much right up until 2 days before he died. They were great though with pain management so I highly recommend them. The day before he died he started to get a little conufused which was from the beginning of encephalopathy which is the toxins (ammonia) buildup in the body from the liver failing. When I got to his house on Sunday he was quite confused. We helped him into bed and he slipped into a coma. At that point we were giving him liquid morphine to ease any pain he might be having. He began having the rattle like breathing and was a bit restless in the bed. We told him how much we loved him and that it was ok to go home. He died peacefully in both my mother & my arms about 5 hours later. Hospice was a godsend. They made sure that my mom and I were ok and that dad was comfortable and that we knew what to expect. That was such a scary thing for us, not knowing what to expect. So when I saw your post I felt like I had to reply. I left some of the more graphic things out but this was pretty much the gist of what happened for our family. Please feel free to email me privately if you would like more information. I remember looking for info when my dad first got sick and then when it was clear he was terminal. A very kind lady posted her mother's passing in detail and I found it so helpful to at least have an idea of what to expect. So again, if you'd like more information I don't mind talking and sharing it with you. Again, I'm so very sorry about your mom. Take care.

Paul's daughter,
Jen

MPapailiou

Melanie I'm so sorry about what happened to your mother... Jen, thank you so much for all the information, it was really helpfull.

My mother has been diagnosed 6 months ago with liver cancer (metastasis from the lungs). She has lost weight and sleeps a lot, all the time. She also experiences severe back pain which doctors try to control with pain killers. Nevertheless, her spirit is high and I want to believe that she has a lot of time ahead of her.

I'm so astonished by the fact that the patient can be "okay" the one day and pass away the next one. I have read this to many posts and I feel terrified because of it. I don't want to live town because I have the fear that something will happen to my mother the next minute and I won't be there for her.

Thanks for the information and the sharing,

Blessings to all of you
Mandy

Melanie Cadenhead · Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:23 am Post subject: life expectancy-liver metastasis

Jen,

Thanks for responding. It's comforting to know that I'm not suffering alone. The past two years have been so confusing. First we were told my mom had two months to live and then 2 chemos later it's now 2 years down the road. You write about back pain. My mother has excrutiating back pain, but she also has a deterioration of 2 discs in her spine which are pressing on a nerve, so I think it's almost impossible to differentiate her symptoms. she has yet to start participating in the trial for the new drug, but I don't have high hopes for it. If she gets the drug the side effects can be awful and if she gets the placebo, she's no better off than before the trial.

As gruesome as it sounds I would like to know what to expect. I have two small children and one of my fears is balancing my time with my mom and my time with the kids. It takes me about an hour to get to my parents' house. I don't know whether to hire a nanny or if the disease is so fast that having friends help me out with my kids will be enough. I'd like to know the signs of when to actually start worrying. I have a few numbers of hospices and nursing agencies. Do you think we'll need both? I'm kind of concerned that we'll need full time care. Does it get bad enough for that?

I am very technically challenged here so I have no idea how to write to you personally or I would have done so.

I do appreciate your understanding and the fact that you're trying to help people who are suffering when you can put your questions and worries behind you.
_________________
Melanie Cadenhead

granger · New User Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 3

I lost my Mother on Dec 19th 2005 of liver cancer. She had a cancerous kidney removed two years before her death. She was told she had liver cancer 13 months before she died. She went threw hell with the treatments. The last time she was in the hospidal was in Nov with she had a few issues she needed blood tranfusions, and some other stuff. At this point it is all a blur.
She was told of the liver cancer in Nov of 2004 she did not tell me she was sick until March. I did not live in the same state so it was easy to hide at the time most of her treatments were things that did not include actually checking into the hospidal.
I moved back home with her after the last time she got out of the hospidal. She got bad very quick. Yet I was with her just under 6 weeks. It was so hard yet I am glad to have done what I could I have regrets even though I tryed really hard not to mess anything up.
After she died I talked to her best friend who told me that she was so proud of the care I was giving her. I still cry when I think of it.
I had hospice helping a couple times a week. Which was hard, we have a pretty private family.
I do wish I week home sooner. I did help her all summer she was only 65 miles from where I live. But I wish I moved back sooner to have had more time with her before she got so sick.
If you would like details or to email feel free. I wish I had someone when she was sick. Now I am trying to relate to other people going threw this to see if everything was "normal".
All the best to you and your family threw these very tough times.

Christine Newport Rhode Island

granger · New User Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 3

Hi again,
I had wanted to include that my Mother was 67 years old. My email is roseglasses11@aol.com

Christine

paulsdaughter · Regular Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 14

Hi Christine,
I'm very sorry about your mom. I think you did everything you could. I do the same thing...talk to other people who are going through what we went through to see if what happened to us happened to them. I get enormous comfort talking it out with other people who understand. It is incredible how quickly this beast can take someone. Take care and write back whenever you want to talk.

Jen

Victorious · New User Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 1

Hi everyone.
I just read Melanie's post and am in a similar position. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer two and a half years ago which has now spread to her lungs and liver.
I also would like to know what to expect and I appreciate the post's I have read so far.
No one in my family has ever had cancer so this is a new road for us and I am scared for her. My sister has suffered tremendously these past two years and I just do not want her to suffer any more than she has to.
No one will give us a prognosis, is this normal? I guess it is because each person is different but I find western medicine very aggravating.
In reality I know enough to know she does not have very long, if any one has any advice or information I would sure appreciate it.
I look forward to reading more and hearing from any of you.
Sorry for the rambling, I am just at a loss in more ways than one!
Take care of YOUR health!!!!!

dennislee3 · New User Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 1

Hey everyone.

My mother passed away 2 days ago, after having liver cancer from Hepatitis B. Life expectancy is something that is very hard to tell from a doctors point of view. By the time my mother was diagnosed, she only had 3 months to live. The doctors were very reluctant to tell me how long she had to live because the estimations are quite difficult to make. They told me a couple of months so they were quite accurate.

However, cancer is very difficult to estimate how long the person has to live. They can get worse very rapidly like my mother did. If the cancer presses on a nerve, or a blood clot, or something like that, the estimate that the doctor makes becomes void. there are so many factors that can trigger an unexpectant death. My mother was in a coma for one day then died. Unfortunately i was not with her at the time of her death as i was far too tired, after spening 48hrs with her in the hospital non stop, watching her pulse, feeling her hand, making sure she was ok, i was so tired i felt like throwing up, i went home for 2 hrs to sleep and she was gone.

Guys, i just suggest that u should spend as much time with ur parents as possible, its quality and quantity, and i guess, dun feel too bad about it, they are moving to a better place, so yeah, in a sense its a blessing

God Bless you all

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