An update from my blog as I am too tired to type it twice

topazil · Senior User Joined: 26 Aug 2009 Posts: 108

God bless you guys for being here and letting me vent and maybe having ideas on how to cope with some of this, so here goes:

Friday, October 30, 2009
Fourth Chemo session and a world of hurt
Sorry I haven't posted in a week or so but man I just couldn't. I had complications with the tooth pulling but first let me back that up to the weekend after the tooth pulling. I was on some serious knockout drugs and ended up peeing the bed then having diarrhea and I tried to clean everything up, but no money to do laundry and being ashamed of having these bodily things happen while your in bed with your boyfriend and then having pain and no energy to clean up well they all added up to make me feel the lowest I've felt yet.

So this past Monday I go into chemo and they can't get a blood draw from my port, well they tried and tried then sent me down to the surgery where they put it in, the assistant kept manipulating the thing under my skin (that hurt let me tell you and she's going "hmmm" "hmmmm" the whole time) she calls in the surgeon. well come to find out a RARE thing happened with me, the week before this I had been laying down watching TV, heard a small click from my chest where the port is and felt it settle deeper into my chest, turns out the damn thing turned over!!!!!

So, the surgeon manipulates it back into place like a doctor would a baby who's in the breech position and says if it happens again they will have to cut me open and stitch the port down (great thought that it "might" happen again),.

So then go get my blood drawn, my CEA is down to 182 but my white cell count is low, 1.4. So get my chemo treatment and get told to come back Wednesday and get the port disconnected and then get a shot to boost my white blood cells.

One of my teeth they didn't work on at the dentist is KILLING me so we call and go into the dentist, the dentist looks and a RARE thing has happened, a piece of my jawbone got splintered when the pulled the tooth next to that one and got stuck in the gum and infected, etc etc. So we numbed the area, pulled the piece of bone and off we went.

I got more antibiotics and Tylenol #4.

So Wednesday we go back, get port taken out, have a bit of scare as she cannot get a blood draw right away then she got it and then I got the shot for the white blood cells. The nurse told me I would feel pain in the long bones of my legs so I get home take a Tylenol #4 and am out like a light for about 24 hours.

Yesterday I couldn't take the grubbiness of the house and the icky pissy and diarrhea smell and asked Tom to get me some quarters and did 5 loads of laundry and still have two to go, but the bed is clean and made, the house smells better and I am showered and clean although it took me all day to clean a studio and do laundry and I had like 20 meltdowns in between. I am taking Valium and even they don't help when I get overwhelmed or really let myself realize this is not going to have have a happy ending for me, I won't make it through this, I am going to die whether it's months or a few years, I'm not going to beat the odds.

And I don't want to leave Tom, I love him so much .............. Okay crying here so have to calm down. Tom is sleeping next to me and I'll just cuddle him and be thankful for the time we have now.

Two good things happened, Tom passed his physical for work and come the first of December we might be moving into a one bedroom beautiful condo.

Thank you all again for being here and please put me on the prayer list as I could really use the strength ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Love,

Marsha
_________________
Total hysterectomy July 23 2008, mass felt in colon during surgery.
Colonoscopy Aug 2008
Colectomy Sep 2008
Stage IV Colon Cancer metastasized to lungs and liver. (T3,N2,M1,G2)
Started chemotherapy: 09/14/09
Latest chemotherapy session: 11/09/09 - Folfox 6 = Oxaliplatin, 5-FU, Leucovorine with
Avastine.
Started CEA Level when first diagnosed = 10
Highest CEA Level so far 409 on 9/21/09
Most recent CEA Level = 113 on 11/09/09

star · Senior User Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 232 Location: Ohio

Praying for you and with you with many others on this site .... You can do this It will come to Pass... I have also sent you a private message ...

GOD BLESS, HEAL AND GIVE YOU PEACE....

BEST WISHES Rob

wytyspy · Experienced user Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 57

I am so sorry to hear of your ordeal. I hope and pray that this comes to pass and your quality of life improves.
Will continue to remember you in my prayers.

God Bless You,
Lucinda

DulcimerGal

Marsha,

I will put your name on my list, and keep you in my prayers.
You really do have a ton of challenges right now - I'll play "The Old Rugged Cross" for you tonight on my Dulcimer before I do my praying and dedicate it to you...do you know it? Lovely old fashioned hymn...one of my favorites.

The new condo sounds like something to look forward to! Does it come with washer and dryer?

Cheers for now
DulcimerGal
_________________
Rectal Cancer diagnosed Valentines Day 2008
Finished 6 weeks of radiation and chemo 4/23/08
Surgery to remove tumor - June 18th 2008
Colostomy Reversal August 20th 2008
Five rounds of Xeloda (chemo) to ZAP anything left!

topazil · Senior User Joined: 26 Aug 2009 Posts: 108

Thank you so very much for the replies everyone, I am on the upswing and feeling better physically as well as mentally and emotionally, and the latter two I really think help from ya'll and Tom and your words and support.

Quick update. WE GOT THE CONDO and move in December 1st!!!!! (GRIN)
That's a between chemo week so I should be able to be productive in helping with putting things away etc (am already packing stuff up as I feel able and we are hiring a moving company to move us.

DulcimerGal, washers and dryers right down the steps but not in the condo no, $1.00 to wash and $1.00 to dry. And oh The Old Rugged Cross was my favorite hymn when I was a child, thank you so very much for offering to play it and I do you know I thought I could here it last night even before I read this post and was humming the refrain, true story I kid you not. (soft smiles and trembling lips at the kindness found here).

One more update, since last Monday the tooth has still been killing me, went back to the dentist and yes there is a dry socket, so they opened the gum up, put some medicine in it, put stitches in place and I go back Weds to see if it worked or they have to do it one more time, but even now after the dumbness has worn off there is a teeny ache but nothing like the pain I was having.

I feel so silly letting little things get me down but you all and Tom are giving me strength I never thought I would have and I am fighting with all I have with positivity, taking care of myself, watching what I eat (especially the sugar)

((((((((((((Hugs and super thank you to everyone))))))))))))))))
_________________
Total hysterectomy July 23 2008, mass felt in colon during surgery.
Colonoscopy Aug 2008
Colectomy Sep 2008
Stage IV Colon Cancer metastasized to lungs and liver. (T3,N2,M1,G2)
Started chemotherapy: 09/14/09
Latest chemotherapy session: 11/09/09 - Folfox 6 = Oxaliplatin, 5-FU, Leucovorine with
Avastine.
Started CEA Level when first diagnosed = 10
Highest CEA Level so far 409 on 9/21/09
Most recent CEA Level = 113 on 11/09/09

star · Senior User Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 232 Location: Ohio

HEY MARSHA,

You keep going and on the days you dont feel like it, we will carry you...

You are doing good... no surender....

Tons of Prayers for you and Tom and for all on this site...

BEST WISHES ALWAYS......Rob

REB

Hope today was a good day for you, Marsha.
_________________
10/01/07 - Removal of Stage III Colon Cancer Tumor & Temporary Colostomy
11-07-07 - FOLFOX regimen - 5-FU (5 Flurouracil), leucovorin & oxaliplatin. Also Avastin
04-09-08 Finished Chemo, 04-28-08 Colostomy Reversal
06-02-09 1 Tumor on outside of colon & 2 in the adipose tissue - same cancer- SUV 5
06-23-09 FOLFIRI and ERBITUX chemo.
08-18-09 Tumors have shrunk. SUV 1
10-26-09 Tumors gone.
11-25-09 Finish FOLFIRI - Jan 2011 Finish ERBITUX?
Age Diagnosed 40. Current Age:42

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