About my husband...

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

Hi. I've been reading this forum for a couple of weeks now. This is a very special group of people and I hope I am welcome here. I am very worried about my husband. I know that no one on here can diagnose him, he desperately needs a colonoscopy. But i'm hoping maybe someone could tell me if i'm over reacting or lead me in the right direction.

I'll give some history on Ron and just see what others think. He is 39 years old. He has been generally pretty healthy. He's been working in Iraq for the past six years so he is only home about four times a year. He is a heavy smoker. He smokes about three packs a day (!!!!!) He does not eat well, he practically lives on junk food. He is 5'11" and was 210 lbs. His sister died of ovarian cancer at the age of 44. She struggled for five years with this before it took her. His brother died of liver or colon cancer, we are not sure where it started. He passed away a few years ago at the age of 54. His father passed away at age 56 of lung cancer. There are many others on his side of the family however they are cousins and whatnot.

First off Ron beleives he has hemorroids. Although he's never been checked. In 17 years of marriage i've never known him to have a normal bowel movement. His is and has always been very narrow. I've seen it a few times (no not on purpose lol) he says it's always been narrow like a ribbon.

Recently when he was home he had diarrhea for over 12 days. Then it settled down a little. Now he is back in Iraq and he says it's started again. He refuses to go to the doctor even though i made him an appointment. Years ago he mentioned a little blood on the toilet paper but nothing recently.

He has also recently lost aprox 25 lbs in four months. I asked him how and he said he didn't know.

I apologize for the long post but i'm worried sick. We have two teenage daughters and he is very far away. Does any of this sound like cancer? it is so prevalent in his family. I know colon cancer has a high success rate if caught early enough. What should i do?

wytyspy · Senior User Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 111

Hi Shel, It could be a number of things of which none are cancer. He really needs to see a doctor. That is the only way to find out exactly what the problem is with him. Praying that you get an answer soon.
Lucinda

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

Thank you for your reply Lucinda. So none of those symptoms sound like cancer? that is a relief but i know it's still something. Diarrhea for over two weeks now can't be good. I just got an email from him telling me he now has nausea at times and some sort of anal discharge. He says it looks like food is not being digested all the way. When he was home he had some sort of clear discharge happen twice while he was sleeping. It's all very very strange. I asked him to see a doc in Iraq but he says they only have medics there who aren't fit to treat road kill. lol doesn't sound good. He's not due to come home for another two to four months.

DulcimerGal · Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:59 pm Post subject: Re: About my husband...

Hi Shel,

welcome to our forum - we are glad to have you!

These are different symptoms than what we typically see discussed - but - I did a quick google for 'clear anal discharge' and that's enough to tell me that your husband needs to see a Doctor asap. All the scenarios seem to need some sort of decent diagnosis and care. At the best - your husband may just have an infection or some parasite that can be simply treated with antibiotics. At worst - I suppose he could have something cancerous or even some blockage that some things are getting around - but not all.

Speculation is futile. You must encourage him to get help immediately. I am not familiar enough with the military to know what would be best. I do imagine though - that if the symptoms are serious enough surely they would medivac him out for a proper exam. Someone on here may know and can help from that point of view.

Good luck with your stubborn man! Keep posting and let us know how it goes -
Cheers
DulcimerGal
_________________
Rectal Cancer diagnosed Valentines Day 2008
Finished 6 weeks of radiation and chemo 4/23/08
Surgery to remove tumor - June 18th 2008
Colostomy Reversal August 20th 2008
Five rounds of Xeloda (chemo) to ZAP anything left!

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

Thank you sweetie, i'll definitely keep on him about seeking out some sort of help. You are all in my prayers even though we've never met.

star · Senior User Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 304 Location: Ohio

Hi SHEL,

The only way you will have peace of mind and your husband to is if he will take his health serious and see a DR, maybe you could say to him see a Dr for you and your teenagers, if he wants to see them grow up he owes it to them to get tests done.

You really cannott mess on with your health, because if there is any thing serious, if you catch it early there is a chance, but if you keep putting off and its cancer could end up with stage 1V and then its harder to treat.

So keep pressing him and also keep praying ... all The Best..

Rob

wytyspy · Senior User Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 111

Hi Shel, I am sorry. I did not intend my post to make you think it was not cancer. I was just saying it could be any number of things including cancer. I was trying to ease your thoughts.

Lucinda

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

Thank you Rob and Lucinda. While I am still trying to get him to take it seriously i'm not having much luck. He is going to be off line for a few days so i won't know how he's doing. I'm hoping all is well again when i hear from him next week. He is under the impression that if there is no blood, there is no cancer. Is this true always?

Also with the fact that he lost 25 lbs in four months without trying scares me. Heck, i've been trying like crazy and my weight never budges!

Thank you so much for taking time to talk to me. I know something is wrong.
The questions i have are:

Since he's always had very narrow stools for at least ten years is it possible to have a tumor that long and not know it?

Is there always blood present if it's colon cancer?

Can heavy smoking for 20 years cause colon cancer?

I know we're gonna get into an argument over it all but i'm just really concerned for him. its very difficult to get a 38 year old man to believe he's not immortal.

REB · Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:30 pm Post subject: Re: About my husband...

[quote="star"]Hi SHEL,

The only way you will have peace of mind and your husband to is if he will take his health serious and see a DR, maybe you could say to him see a Dr for you and your teenagers, if he wants to see them grow up he owes it to them to get tests done.

You really cannott mess on with your health, because if there is any thing serious, if you catch it early there is a chance, but if you keep putting off and its cancer could end up with stage 1V and then its harder to treat.

So keep pressing him and also keep praying ... all The Best..

Rob[/quote]

I have to agree with Star. I wish I had gone to the doctor when my symptoms first started about a year before I finally went. It would have saved me a lot of grief. Get him to the doctor.
_________________
10/01/07 - Removal of Stage III Colon Cancer Tumor & Temporary Colostomy
11-07-07 - 04-09-08 FOLFOX regimen and Avastin.
04-28-08 Colostomy Reversal
06-02-09 3 Tumors in the adipose tissue.
06-23-09 Start FOLFIRI and ERBITUX chemo.
10-26-09 Tumors gone.
11-25-09 Finish FOLFIRI, continue ERBITUX
01-27-10 Tumors in Liver and Adrenal Gland
01-28-10 start FOLFIRI and ERBITUX chemo.
Age Diagnosed 40. Current Age:43

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

[size=24]I wanted to first off thank you all again for your kind words when i posted back in october. I have an update on my husband. He is still in Iraq and still has not seen the doctor. When he first returned back he told me he was feeling better except he was passing mustard yellow colored stools. He seems to think the blood pressure medicine benicar is causing his stomach upsets although i have not found anything that lists these symptoms as being from bp meds. He was better for awhile and now his symptoms have returned again. My question is if this was cancer would the symptoms be intermitten like that? normal for awhile then back to bloody stools and diarrhea? off and on kinda thing or would it be a continuous nightmare in the bathroom once you have it:

His reason for not doing the colonoscopy is that he is too young for that terrible test. I don't agree with this at all since there are about nine ppl in his family who have died from cancer. Colon cancer being the main one. He comes back to visit in three weeks and i'm going to really push hard for him to get to the doctor. I just can't imagine having all this stuff going on and not wanting to seek help for it. The other reason for the bloody stools according to him is internal hemmroids which has never been diagnosed. he has no pain or itching or anything like that, i thought that if you had hemroids you would be most uncomfortable...but i don't know.

Thank you again, and God bless you all.[/size][size=7][/size][size=24][/size]

topazil · Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:06 pm Post subject: Re: About my husband...

What are the Symptoms of Colon Cancer?

Colon cancer can have many symptoms. However, in the early stages, people with colon cancer often have no symptoms at all. This is why regular screening beginning at 50 is an important investment in your healthy future.

Colon cancer symptoms come in two general varieties:

Local
Systemic

Local Colon Cancer Symptoms

Local colon cancer symptoms affect your bathroom habits and the colon itself. Some of the more common local symptoms of colon cancer include:

Changes in your bowel habits, such as bowel movements that are either more or less frequent than normal
Constipation (difficulty having a bowel movement or straining to have a bowel movement)
Diarrhea (loose or watery stools)
Intermittent (alternating) constipation and diarrhea
Bright red or dark red blood in your stools or black, dark colored, "tarry" stools
Stools that are thinner than normal ("pencil stools") or feeling as if you cannot empty your bowels completely
Abdominal (midsection) discomfort, bloating, frequent gas pains, or cramps
If you experience any of these for two or more weeks, call your doctor right away to discuss your concerns and arrange for tests to get to the bottom of your symptoms.

Systemic Colon Cancer Symptoms

Systemic colon cancer symptoms are those that affect your whole body, such as weight loss, and include:

Unintentional weight loss (losing weight when not dieting or trying to lose weight)
Loss of appetite
Unexplained fatigue (extreme tiredness)
Nausea or vomiting
Anemia (low red blood cell count or low iron in your red blood cells)
Jaundice (yellow color to the skin and whites of the eyes)
If you experience any of these for any length of time, even a few days, call your doctor right away to discuss your concerns and arrange for tests to get to the bottom of your symptoms.

As for his being too young? There are people of all ages on this forum a few in their 20's and 30's that have this disease. I would have never thought I'd one day have colon cancer, (lung cancer yes, because I smoke(d) a lot just like your husband) but colon cancer? I was adopted at 4 1/2 so have no idea of my biological parents medical history, never had "any" symptoms unless you count the occasional tinge of blood on toilet paper I attributed to wiping too hard.

It wasn't until my total hysterectomy (not connected, no reason for it, just tubes tied for over 18 years and entering perimeopause and OB/GYN said sure we'll take it out so you don't have to go through "that" every month) that they found the "mass" which turned out to be a rather large tumor which in turn turned out to be malignant which in turn turned out to have spread it's "spawn" to outlying lymph nodes and to my lungs and liver, so now I have stage IV colon cancer metastastized to my lungs and liver and I also have the KRAS mutation of the cancer which basically means I have limited options in treatment.

So reading my story do you think you can convince your husband to have a colonoscopy? I would try my hardest, at the worst it's and inconvenience, and you have to drink an ucky 1/2 gallon of stuff to clean out your colon at best they find nothing but your mind is at rest, and in there also is they find "something" but early enough to "snip snip" it out or ablate it out and nothing more is needed but ......................... at least you both will know with the correct tests.

Keeping you and your husband (both brave and wonderful people, he for serving his country and you for dealing with the time he is away) in my thoughts and prayers this day.

Oh and the hemorrhoid thing, I had the bleeding, slight yes but never had a hemorrhoid in my life.
_________________
Total hysterectomy July 23 2008, mass in colon.
Colonoscopy Aug 2008
Rigid Sigmoidoscopy with a laparoscopic-assisted partial colectemy with en bloc small bowel resection Sep 2008
Diagnosed: Stage IV Colon Cancer mets to lungs and liver. (T3,N2,M1,G2) KRAS Mutation
Started chemotherapy: 09/14/09 Folfox-6 with Avastin then Avastin alone.
Next treatment 03/22/10 Camptosar with Avastin every 2 weeks for 3 months then PET scan
Most recent CEA Level: 03/08/10 79.4 down from 240 on 03/01/10

star · Senior User Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 304 Location: Ohio

HI SHELL,

Your Husband REALLY REALLY NEED TO GET CHECKED OUT,,,SO YOU PUSH HIM ALL THE WAY, AND USE ANY MEANS POSSIBLE TO GET HIM TO DRS...

It is only way to get peace of mind forYou and Him... sounds really like he is scared of any bad news and thinks it will all work out ..BUT IT DOES NOT AND WILL ONLY GET WORSE...It might be something easy to treat.. but only Drs can determine that..

With colon cancer in the family ..so important to get colon checked out..Life far to precious not to..

Stand Strong Shell and get him to Drs ..

Wishing You and Huband the BEST,,

Rob

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

I want to thank you both for all that you are doing. Whether you know it or not, I believe you being here is saving lives. I've been reading for awhile since i've been so concerned with Ron. This is a hard thing to talk about and I really don't have anywhere else to go to ask questions. As soon as he gets home for R and R, i'm going to push as hard as I can. If he isn't concerned with his health maybe he will consider what this could do to our family. I went through a really hard time begging my father to seek help when he became really sick. I saw it coming like a freight train and he wouldn't listen. In the end he even blamed me saying that i just wanted him to be sick because i was pushing so hard for him to get help. He ended up with CHF, five heart attacks, diabetes, kidney failure and blindness before he lost the battle. I think if he would have just took his health more serious and a major lifestyle change, he would still be with us.

Thank you for your kind words and generous nature. I really appreciate it more than you know. God bless you and keep you well.

star · Senior User Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 304 Location: Ohio

HI SHELL,

My Barb was so fit and beauitful inside and out side,, she ate good healthy diet and looked so radiant.

In 2001 she could not go to bathroom and took all usual stuff to make her go, and in end I was in England and I had to say to her I am not going to talk to you until you go to drs... as she did not want to go.. and when she did it was colon cancer.. if she had gone earlier instead of putting off, things MIGHT have been different.. She battled 8 yrs.. we were married for 11 months...

WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR HEALTH YOU REALLY REALLY HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE AND GET EARLY TREATMENT... AS EVERY DAY GOES BY LIFE GETS SHORTENED... AND WITH HIS FAMILY HISTORY HE REALLY OWES IT TO YOU AND HIS FAMILY TO GET CHECKED OUT ...

Tell him to call me and I will talk to him,,, or show him these posts on here ...LIFE IS FAR TO PRECIOUS TO MESS ON WITH IT.. WE HAVE ONE CHANCE AT LIFE .. NO DRESS REHERSAL..

Thinking and praying for You and family.

BEST WISHES ROB

shel · Regular Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Texas

[quote="star"]HI SHELL,

My Barb was so fit and beauitful inside and out side,, she ate good healthy diet and looked so radiant.

In 2001 she could not go to bathroom and took all usual stuff to make her go, and in end I was in England and I had to say to her I am not going to talk to you until you go to drs... as she did not want to go.. and when she did it was colon cancer.. if she had gone earlier instead of putting off, things MIGHT have been different.. She battled 8 yrs.. we were married for 11 months...

WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR HEALTH YOU REALLY REALLY HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE AND GET EARLY TREATMENT... AS EVERY DAY GOES BY LIFE GETS SHORTENED... AND WITH HIS FAMILY HISTORY HE REALLY OWES IT TO YOU AND HIS FAMILY TO GET CHECKED OUT ...

Tell him to call me and I will talk to him,,, or show him these posts on here ...LIFE IS FAR TO PRECIOUS TO MESS ON WITH IT.. WE HAVE ONE CHANCE AT LIFE .. NO DRESS REHERSAL..

Thinking and praying for You and family.

BEST WISHES ROB[/quote]

Hello Rob. You are a beautiful man staying here and helping others. I am very sorry about your wife. I have read many of her postings and know she was just an angel.

I spoke to my husband on the phone which is rare because the phones in Iraq are not so good. This is the story he is sticking to right now. He says yes, he's still having problems off and on and it's due to his blood pressure pills. okaaay they never bothered him before and hes taking them for over two years. but the good news is he has agreed to go to the doctor!!! He is not even considering it could be cancer or anything bad. He's sticking to the old hemmroid story and wanting to change bp meds. But while we are there i'm going to pop in with telling the doc about all the months of diarrhea, the blood when he wipes, the narrow stools, the stomach aches, the 25 lb weight loss, and the anal leakage. this is going to piss him off severly but we are not waisting this visit to the doc. The only thing he assumes he is going for is to have routine blood work ran and switching his meds. I don't know if anything would show up on just a regular blood work up.... do you?

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