My dad has secondary liver cancer...I am so sad

karolynca · Regular Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 11

I really don't know what else to write. The story goes like this, at 75 years last november my dad started bleeding in his stools and vomit some blood, he was taken to the hospital and spent 9 days in there in which I almost consumed myself (lost 14 pounds, got really sick). I am the only daughter here as my sister lives overseas. After 7 blood transfusions my dad had to be operated, they found a small opening in his small intestines and had to cut part of his stomach and small intestines and reconnect everything. At the time of the operation the surgeon discovered my dad had a mass the size of a softball that was attached to part of the intestine that cannot be pulled out and was covering the bile ducts and surrounding the liver, no way it could be extracted, bile was still flowing though.

He was sent home and was able to spend Xmas and his 76 birthday with us in December.

Oncologists said due to my dad's condition, recent major surgery, his age and the cancer itself we could forego chemo but it was not recommended. prognosis was set up at 2-6 months. His 6 month mark is at the end of May

A couple of days ago we noticed my dad is now jaundice, his feet are also kind of inflamated, they will be running some blood tests tomorrow and a trip to the Dr on Monday however we all know that there is nothing else in terms of treatment we can do, only take care of pain management.

This entire situation comes when I am 4 months pregnant of my first child after battling infertility for 6 years and it's tearing me up to know that he is probably not going to meet my child Sad

. I live like one hour away and try to visit as much, I am the caregiver and recently had to hire a person to stay with them always since I do not live there. My dad is a great man, the greatest dad in the world, he gave me and my sister the very best he could not only in terms of education but also in terms o tender loving care. My biggest fear is the fear of see him suffering and how much this is going to impact my mom who has been married to him 45 years.

I am glad I found this forum, I hope to find not only information but also support here. I don't want to cry my dad before he is gone but I cannot help but feel so sad and empty and lost inside.

ksplat

Dear Karolyn

My heart is aching for you & tears flowing as I read your post about your beloved Dad. I am so very sorry your Dad's condition has become more serious. I do hope the pain management will be sufficient to keep him comfortable?

Although I am not familiar with this kind of cancer I do know what it's like to lose a Dad, I know exactly how you're feeling & I will pray for you that you will be the strength & comfort for your Mum & Dad. The times that you share with your Dad should be filled with happy moments & treasured memories.

At the moment I am working on a photo album/journal for my Bro - Mark - who has a brain tumour. This has helped me direct my energies to something positive for him & it's been an uplifting experience for me, similar to therapy! Perhaps you could direct your energies to a similar project when you're not spending time with your Parents?

Please don't be a stranger here either! We are a fantastic community of people who are happy & willing to offer, comfort, love, support & advice. Finding this community has been a real catalyst & invaluable support to me since my Bro was diagnosed last year.

You will also need to talk / open up to your partner, Sister a close friend? This will be a very challenging time for you, you must especially be finding it hard balancing all of these emotions whilst expecting your 1st baby. Congratulations on this, this should be the most positive & joyful time for you. Please try not to have negative thoughts about your Dad not being around to see your little baby, while there's LIFE there's HOPE! Your baby being born can be the positive in all of this sadness.

My prayers & thoughts are with you Karolyn,
Cheers, Angie.
_________________
Brother has GBMIV
Diagnosed Feb 07
46 Yrs young!
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

karolynca · Regular Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 11

Dear Angie
Thanks so much for your kind words of support, they really mean a lot to me. I asked my dad to help me by working on a special project for my child, an album with pictures of all my family and I ask him to write the memories he has of each picture, that will be something to treasure. In real life my husband is the only one by my side, my sister lives overseas and let's just say she is aware of what's going on but living her own life. I think one of the things that keep me up and going strong is my baby.

I am doing my very best to try to enjoy this time with him as much as possible...so in the future I don't look back and find just sorrow of my time with him.

Karolyn

brainman

karolynca, I am truly sorry about your father's cancer and present condition. It is never easy to see someone who cared for you become depended on you and others. I was the primary care provider for both of my parents so I have been where you are. It does sound like you have helped your father to build memories of himself for his grandchildren. I hope he lives long enough to see this new grandchild. Although he or she may never remember his or her grandfather, the picture album will help make a connection to your father... especially since it was one of your father's last projects.

You and your father and family are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

karolynca · Regular Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 11

Jim thanks a lot for your prayers. As you say it's definetely not easy, I try to focus on the baby and on the fact that I do not control the future but sadly all the things I read in books or at the internet clearly point as to his condition deteriorating, for example today my mom says his eyes are more yellow a sign that bilirubin is rising and of course his body getting poisoned. I work for a pharmaceutical company and I have this tendency of knowing too much of medical stuff which really does not makes things easier because the knowledge can really kill your hopes, if you know what I mean.

I will keep this post updated daily with his condition as is one of the few places I have to vent and find support.

ksplat

Dear karolyn

I am thinking of you today & whilst here on the forum wanted to let you know.
We haven't had a post here for over 10 days fom you & I'm praying hard that this does not mean bad news?! Although I understand your Dad's condition was gradually worsening when we last spoke.
Payers & thoughts are with you.

Cheers, Angie.
_________________
Brother has GBMIV
Diagnosed Feb 07
46 Yrs young!
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

karolynca · Regular Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 11

Sorry I have kind of disappeared, I work full time and it has been crazy these days. Angie you don't know how much it means to me that you have remembered me. My dad really was doing bad, the Dr ordered some medication in order to help his liver, his eyes seems to be less yellow and his urine has gone from orange to almost normal yellow which are good signs. His legs are getting tired though. He has not been in pain or taken pain medication for a week now which are all good signs.

Of course with Cancer you just take the good days and enjoy them the most you can. I called him yesterday and he warmed my heart because he asked in the phone "how's my grandchild doing?" first time he spoke like that...I was crying like crazy when I hung up.

We are also introducing some protein that the Dr ordered is like a drink to help with this muscle loss and help him gain some weight and better his quality of life.

I try to keep you all updated, the thing is that the last week of the month plus the first week of the month are the most busiest at work and I just get home soooo tired...

Thanks for caring so much!

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others