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jpa
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Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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Just a quick rundown. A friend(in their late 30's) was diagnosed with stage 3 with a tumor in his colon and they also found that the cancer spread to his liver. They did surgery removed the tumor and then afterwards they set him up with chemotherapy were they give him an infusion session, then he takes the pill form for 2 weeks after, he then has a week off then it starts over again. I am not sure which pills he is taking though.
He has been a heavy drinker for the past 15-20 years and drank right to the surgery and continues to drink to this day, though he has cut back some. A few of us usually go over on Saturday night and he usually has 5-6 beers while we are there and then he takes the chemo pill after drinking, is this a good idea? We have also witnessed him drink the usual 5-6 beers and then take his chemo pill and wash it down with another 2 beers.
Once I saw that I stopped going over every weekend due to the sad sight I had to see and also the fact I feel he isn’t putting 100% into his recovery. Now I am being told that I am "abandoning" them because of this. As I have told them many times that I am here if they need me for anything, but I refuse watch him continue as he is. My feelings are how are we(friends) suppose to help him through this tough time if he doesn't want to help himself first and with all the information that links alcohol to liver problems and greater risks of getting cancer that if he truly want to beat cancer 100% that he would do whatever it takes.
Am I wrong for taking this stance or feeling this way? I know I can never imagine what they are going through and people I know in the past that have had different types of cancer seemed to do whatever it took to beat it and I don’t feel the same with him.
Any feedback or opinions would be of great help. |
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In
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| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:49 am Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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Hi jpa,
It's hard to understand what is going through someones head. He maybe feeling down/depressed. He may have a serious drinking problem (most serious problems is only a few drinks). He may feel he needs to keep up- Do all of the group drink? To feel like he is normal and nothing has changed...
Maybe you should talk to the others, ask them what they think.. Maybe all of you have no drinks while there. Make a stupid bet- see who can stay off the booze the longest or something. (men  )
But in the end you need to talk to him, ask him how he is. How things are going? How the medicines work? If he should be looking at a health kick to beat this thing, maybe try to do it together.
Seriously though- being honest is the important thing.
In the end- say you'll be there to support and help- but not to watch him give up, or lose his chance.
Hopefuly someone with Rectal/colon Cancer could help you more.
Good Luck- tell me how it goes.
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Thinking of you Inica
**Administrator**
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jpa
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Joined: 08 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:12 am Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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Unfortunatley he is usually the only one in the group that drinks, sometimes there is one other person. They say they have told the liver specialists, the surgeon, his doctor and his nurse that he is drinking, the amount and that he is taking the chomo pill with beer and they all supposably said that it is fine.
I find that hard to belive cause one would think that if anyone with or without liver cancer told a doctor you are drinking 5+ beers in one sitting a couple times week one would hope the Dr. tell them that they might have a problem and would suggest getting help.
Am I overreacting? I have read having a drink here and there is ok and sometimes can be good, but have not seen either way that drinking in any amount of quantity is good or bad. It seems once I brought up his drinking to his girlfriend and said that I wouldn't think that it is probably the best idea is when she said that I abandoned him and that all the doctors have said drinking is fine with what he is going through. I just feel that I am against a wall in trying to help him when it seems they are in denial about things. |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 3042
Location: Tennessee
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| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:02 am Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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jpa, I do not think you are overreacting but it does sound like your friend is an alcohol who bing drinks. It will be very hart of you to change this... impossible if your friend does not want to change or does not see that there is a problem. The most you can to is to express your concerns and make sure he understands how his drinking is affecting your life and friendship.
It is very common for an alcoholic to blame others for their problems. You need to take care of yourself. If that means staying away from them and hearing them complain about you abandoning them, then so be it. I for one think you are doing the right thing by staying away but by making it clear to them that you want to help.
I do not believe that the doctor told your friend that it was fine to drink as much as he is while taking chemo unless the doctor is basically saying "It is your life. Do with it what you want." Sometimes even doctors just have to through up there hands and give up.
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
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2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
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hdgirl
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:26 am Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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Drinking was intially a big concern for me with my husband. He was diagnosed Sept '07 with stage iv crc. He loves his beer and can easily drink as many as you state. In fact, I had to wonder initially if you were someone we knew 
Anyway, he had gone through the first four months of folfox/w avastin and drinking his beers as soon as the cold sensitivity wore off from the oxy, in fact, I remember him drinking with a glove on. He was originally nonoperable but became operable and had his colon/liver resection three weeks ago. I don't think his drinking has hurt much. Here he is 3 weeks out of surgery and back to the beers, probably 6 in an evening.
Please, please don't take me wrong but, I feel that it is his body, and the cancer is within him. The choices are his first and foremost and I support and offer anything I can. I do not think his drinking is lack of trying to achieve better health. I'm sure it would be better for him if he didn't but I leave all final decisions up to him. He is in the process of making many decisions...I offer my opinions and do a lot of research and add my two cents worth and tell him how I feel, but I also love him enough to trust his health to his own decisions. His oncologist says "he's the boss". I like and believe in that. The choices are his.
Best of luck in however you handle your situation. |
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jpa
New User
Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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| Thanks for the replys and if anyone else can add to this, please do. |
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REB
Experienced user
Joined: 13 Mar 2008
Posts: 53
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 4:17 pm Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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The chemo makes my head and stomach spin enough. I have not had any alcohol since I started Chemo 6 months ago. I am too afraid to have any. I got enough drugs/chemicals flowing through my blood. I don't want to add anymore.
(I get unhooked from the 5FU tomorrow morning then I am offically done with Chemo- hopefully forever. I have been waiting for this day fo 6 months.)
_________________
10/01/07 - Removal of Stage III Colon Cancer Tumor and Temporary Colostomy
Started Chemotherapy 11-07-07 - FOLFOX regimen - 5-FU (5 Flurouracil) and leucovorin, oxaliplatin. Also Avastin
Last Chemo treatment 04-09-08, Colostomy Reversal 04-28-08 Age:41 |
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DulcimerGal
Regular
Joined: 01 Apr 2008
Posts: 36
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: Re: Chemo/Recovery questions |
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Isn't it strange how we all react differently. I am touch with one person who also had colon cancer, stage 4, heavy drinker and eater - he completely went off the drink, changed his diet, is being treated with regular medications (he has also had his surgery) and is consulting with a herbal doctor. He has lost 40 pounds and tells me he looks better than everyone else in the chemo lounge.
He swears that the herbal treatments are helping him and indeed he is very active and upbeat
Your friend is reacting differently, he may feel that it is just too late - after so many years of drinking - how will stopping now help? also - he may feel as many do - that if he only has a few years left, why stop doing something he enjoys?
Personally I am going through rectal cancer treatment - I am getting radiation and chemo now (though they just stopped the chemo - I will explain in another post) and when I was diagnosed - I completely stopped any alcohol - I was just a glass of wine a week and maybe a corona or two on the weekends- but I got so freaked out - I figured I would do everything I could to help myself. I have now given up coffee and tea except for green tea, have even stopped eating chocolate and sugar whenever possible - as I want to stay away from processed food.
I would go completely organic if it wasn't such a pain to find that kind of food. And I may yet do that!
Your friend - my advice is to still go over and see him. The trauma of dealing with cancer for the individual is just so impacting on that person's life outlook that he needs to know you still care. For me - when I was told - my whole life horizon just came up short and slapped me in the face. I felt like everything I had wanted to do for the rest of my life - just got snatched away from me. I still have great difficulty with dealing with the feeling that I may not have much time left, in spite of ALL the encouragement I get from researching statistics and the love and encouragement of friends and family. It is so difficult. You also get tons of advice to "live each day to the fullest" and "be in the now" "be in the moment" etc etc.....for your friend - each day he has is his decision how he enjoys it. DO not give up on him.
Just my two cents
DulcimerGal
Rectal cancer - diagnosed on February 13, 2008
Currently on six weeks of radiation/chemo before surgery (to shrink the tumor). will have 6 months of chemo after surgery |
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