Husband passed away

wildyellowrose · New User Joined: 25 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

March 4, my husband passed away, this is very difficult to write, we had hoped the experimental treatment would give him more time, but it just was not so. The last 2 weeks went very quickly, he worked until 2 1/2 weeks before he passed, I don't know how he did it he was so weak, he would not give up. I wish I had good news for those reading this, but we never received one good report. My husband hardly ever had a drink, this is not from over drinking, but from being exposed to some type of harzardous material, probably at work, it could have happened years ago. Most of this type of exposure doen't happen anymore, that is one reason this type of cancer is so rare.
He was only 55, healthy, strong, not over weight, ate great, and this disease just took over. NO one can prepare you for this loss, and it happens so fast, I am just thankful he is not in pain anymore. If anyone has any questions let me know. I researched every option for us, but after the tumors get 3 inches or more they do not operate. My best to all that emailed me

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 568 Location: UK

Hi, wildyellowrose - my sincere condolences on your husband's death. He was too young for this to happen.

Kaye · New User Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Posts: 2

You are right ...nothing can prepare you for this.

My husband, aged 49, died of liver cancer on the 5 March 2008.

He went for a employment medical in mid February2008 and the doctor noticed some red spots on his upper body. (other doctors had ignored this earlier) These had been around for about 18 months and we had put them down to burst blood capillaries that his dad has too.

The doctor felt his liver and said it was enlarged and referred him for an ultrasound & blood test

The results we received on the week preceding the 18th Feb were good news in that the diagnosis was benign growths and he had Hep C. (My husband was an ambulance office early in his career & this may have been the point of infection)

His concern was for me however & I tested negative for Hep C on the 19th and the doctor referred my husband to a clinic to treat his Hep C.

At the referred clinic appointment on the 21 Feb the doctor said my husband needed urgent blood test and cT scan. The bloods were taken that afternoon and the CT scan was performed the next day on the 22nd Feb.

My husband went into the scan appearing and feeling well and the moment he came out he complained of a sore shoulder which he thought was from laying in the machine with his arms above his head.

By that night he was in extreme pain and by the 23 Feb afternoon I took him to the local hospital emergency to get some relief.

The pain did not subside and on the 24 Feb he started to hiccup and did not stop. We again went to the local hospital emergency as the hiccups were interfering with his breathing and he was becoming very exhausted.

More pain relief coupled with valium were prescribed to relax his diaphragm. My husband was not to happy to be drugged so much and I was becoming increasingly concerned about him.

On the 25th February (Monday morning) I rang the clinic and pleaded with them to see my husband as I KNEW there was something really wrong and his face was very sick looking.

We were advised to come through the clinic’s hospital emergency and after waiting a number of hours (while my husband continued to hiccup) a registrar from the clinic came to see him. She said that the hiccup and shoulder pain were part and parcel of the “advanced aggressive liver cancer” that my husband had.

We were flabbergasted/stunned/shocked/crying and said that this was the first we had heard of CANCER . The registrar explained that there was no available treatment and requested that we keep the appointment we were meant to get the ct results at for the following Thursday (28th February) to discuss palliative care.

We returned home and Kim and I decided not to tell anyone in the near future to let ourselves digest the prospects.

That night I googled liver cancer + hiccups and some site referred to this symptom as the ‘final stages’. I shut the computer down and didn’t tell my husband this.

In the meantime the shoulder pain and the hiccups continued into the 27th and by lunchtime the drugs prescribed over the weekend by the emergency doctors at our visits rendered my husband bombed out and he stopped breathing.

I called his GP in a mad panic and shook him to life and called an ambulance.

I called all our kids and my husbands family. we became inundated with visitors.

The doctors asked if my husband wanted to stay in hospital and all we wanted to do was get home which we did.

We went along to the scheduled Thursday appointment at the clinic and the doctor told us my husband had about 2 months to live. We cried all the way home in the car.

Thursday night and the pain increased and I got on the phone to palliative services in desperation on the 29th and with the help of the clinic urging them to come they visited us at home that day.

The nurse took one look at my husband …organised better meds for pain relief and told us she thought he had a week or 2 left at best.

A morphine pump was fitted to Kim on Saturday the 1st March.

He was given steroids which lifted him on the 2nd and 3rd.

On the evening of the 4th after much love amongst us all and the kids we went to bed and he started to die before my eyes.

He died on the 5th at around 10.45 in the morning.

I am shocked and still in disbelief at the rapid decline and death of my beautiful soulmate.

I believe the contrast that my husband drank for the CT scan blew his cancer and symptoms up and hastened his death. Only consolation is that this may have shortened the time he was in pain.

On reflection symptoms of lethargy were around about 18 months beforehand that we put down to his dislike of his job ( which he changed and worked hard at his new job)

He also went thru bout of itching about 18 months prior to his death.

The palliative care nurses came to our home like angels in the night and without them my husband and I would not have been afforded the dignity and our wish for him to remain with us till the end.

Tmahmood · New User Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 3

Hi Kaye

I am really really sorry for your husband. This is exactly what happend to my father. The same time-frame and time line, the same symptoms and the same fate. The only difference is that we knew about 4 yars back that he got Hepititus C. He got treatment for that but virus was not removed.

My parents live in Pakistan while I live in UK. I was with them in January and he was ok with only complain he had was lethargy which I took it as related to his age. He was 72. I came back to UK on 28th Jan.
During the 2nd week of Feb he complained to my brother of pain in the abdomin and he was taken to Doctor. He took liver ultrasound and CT scan and told that he got canacer in final stages with no treatment option. The time he gave was 2 months. It davested us as both of my parents were visiting me to stay sometime in London for the very first time in March and I was anxiously waiting for their tour.

I reached to him in Islambad on 27th Feb. By that time he had started taking long napping and was mostly unaware of his surroundings. He has developed itching and got blood clots on his body. I admitted him to hospital to relief some pain but he did not like it and insisted to return home and we came back to home on 2nd March. He started hiccups on the same day evening. It continued for a day and one of my cousin who was doctor gave him some medicine and it stopped for some time but started again. He started coughing and pain in the back and shoulder. He also started spitting blood.

On the evening of 6th March we again took him to hospital. But soon after reaching there his breath were out of contorl and was put on oxygen. By the morning of 7th at 5:50am he did.

I am back in UK but still unable to cope with it. He was most loving dad and was very close to me. I still feel that it is some sort of nightmare and soon it would be over......but deep inside the pain tells me that ...NO.....I will never be able to see him again and never get the prayers, the hug and the love from him....and these make me cry. Being Human beings we feel that we are the most developed creature....but how helpless we are......the reality about the insignificance of life is just unbearable.

laupw · Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:28 am Post subject: Re: Husband passed away

[quote="wildyellowrose"]March 4, my husband passed away, this is very difficult to write, we had hoped the experimental treatment would give him more time, but it just was not so. The last 2 weeks went very quickly, he worked until 2 1/2 weeks before he passed, I don't know how he did it he was so weak, he would not give up. I wish I had good news for those reading this, but we never received one good report.[/quote]

Hello,
I know what you are going through. I lost my mother almost a year ago, in fact there is less than 4 weeks to this day that she passed away. We try not to think too much about her, my Father and I, but it is getting nearer to this day. I see it now as a release for her from her short and painful period. Like your husband, she was highly active and of sound mind to the very end.

I am sure that your family and relatives are there to help you.

I just want to say that I am sadden to hear about your case. It is always painful to see someone leave you after you have been with them for so long.

I say this to myself, every so often, "At least she is not suffering anymore. She is in a better place". The same is true for your Husband.

Best Regards,

Phil

BSL · New User Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 3

I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I can relate as my husband passed away on March 5, 2008. He had been battling colon/liver cancer for 2 years. He was 62 and a very healthy man up until he discovered the colon cancer that had mastsized to his liver. I think he finally got tired of fighting. He never once complained and died peacefully. We had been married 41 years.
I wish you well and I hope you have a good support group. I have my children, and extended family that have helped me through the tough times. Now I am adjusting to a new life by myself. It isn't easy, but I know God is in control and has a plan for each of us.
God Bless You,
Bronna

brainman · Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: Re: Husband passed away

wildyellowrose, I am very sorry about your husband's death. I am also very sorry that it has taken so long for me to reply. Although I have followed your story since your first post, this is the first time I have written to you and for that I am sorry.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hey all, please be aware of the originator of a particular topic and try not to hijack it. Thanks
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Queensland Girl · Regular Joined: 17 Oct 2007 Posts: 27 Location: Australia

Hello Wild Yellow Rose,

I am sorry to read of your Husband's passing. I have now lost both of my parents to cancer and can only say that in time, the pain will lessen. One day you will be able to think of the many things you and your husband did together and laugh and remember those times with fondness. Right now there is grief, anger, sorrow and disbelief.

Also please remember to accept help from your friends and family, they worry and care about you too.

My thoughts are with you,

Queensland Girl

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