attitude

sgishelly · Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:23 pm Post subject: attitude

I was just wondering...some people tend to have a great attitude where their health is concerned and they tend to look for the positive things....and others, well let's just say they tend to dwell on the negatives. I'm not talking about anyone here in this forum...this is mainly coming from people in my family who have other health problems. I'm just wondering if there have ever been any studies done on people's attitude towards being ill and their outcome.

I have 2 cousins...sisters....both were struck with illnesses. The older was was diagnosed with MS at age 34. She just basically threw up her hands and said, OK...I'm done. She went on disability and has blamed everything on her illness ever since. Thing is, she's fine, she can do everthing that I can do. The other sister was stuck with an airborne virus (Can't remember the name of it...something myolitis) that affected 18 inches of her spine and basically paralyzed her. She was told by the neurologist that she would never walk again. She said...Oh no...I've got to, I've got 4 small boys....and she changed doctors. It took her a while but she is now walking, driving, etc. all to the amazement of all of her doctors. She does have to use a cane sometimes and she had to learn to drive with hand controls, but she's doing great. I just wonder if her attitude about the whole thing brought her through it and if she would have had the same result if she'd had her sister's attitiude.

I try to keep a good attitiude about everything. When people ask me if I've been sick, I always say yes but I have my good days and I enjoy those tremendously. I always try to look for something good in every situation. Someone on another post referred to themself as "polyanna" but I think that's a great way to be. Beats the heck out of dwelling on the bad stuff!!

Something just got me to thinking about all this...
_________________
Shelly
Dx Nov 1, 2004 at 40 y/o
Right MRM, Left Simple Mast. - 12/9/04
Stage 2A IDC -
Primary tumor 1cm
3+ / 14 nodes, ER/PR+, HER2-
34 rads - finished 5/25
chemo - AC and Taxol FINISHED 7/6/05
beginning reconstruction 2/06
brain mets 4/06 - now stage 4

Minnlady13 · Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:14 pm Post subject: Re: attitude

Thanks for posting, Shelly. I do think a positive attitude is important. You have graphic evidence in your own family. What a different attitude can make. I have a husband that always looks for the worst in any situation and always expects things to go wrong for him. His whole family was that way. On the other hand, I tend to expect things to work out for the best.

I don't know about scientific studies, but I would suspect that a positive attitude goes a long way in helping people recover from surgery and/illness. And, you are so right. Being optimistic does beat the heck out of the alternative. It is so much easier to smile than frown. Hugs, Lauri
_________________
Diagnosed 4/11/1996
Lumpectomy, 6 mm tumor
Neg. nodes
ER/PR+
33 rads
Tamoxifen, 5 yrs.
NED

leo · Site Admin Joined: 23 Sep 2004 Posts: 1574

Hello

This is a great thread. Attitude definitely makes a big difference. It also spreads to others around you, regardless of whether it is a good or bad attitude.

I encourage people to try to read something about it that can help someone look at things from a different angle. There is always something to be learned, even from the worst situations.

best regards,
Leo
_________________
Leonardo F - Webmaster Cancer Forums
Disclaimer: this information is for informational purposes only. It is not medical advice.

AlaskaAngel · Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:33 pm Post subject: Thinking "positive"

That question seems simple but I don't think the answer is that simple.

There is a sort of hidden cruelty about expectations. A while back in one of the online bc support groups I tune into there was quite a discussion about this. I don't know if I have any of it saved somewhere in my files to be able to give it to you without my interpretation of it, but for now you get the short AlaskaAngel version.

There is a genuine need to acknowledge what is good and what is bad about things that happen. If you take the position that focusing on the good leads to a better outcome then to some degree you are also taking the position that anyone who has a bad outcome probably simply hasn't put enough faith or energy into thinking positive. That is a destructive thing to do to people because there are genuine limits to what "thinking positive" can accomplish.

A minor example: Personally I did find it offensive during my course of treatment when someone else had almost no nausea or vomiting whereas I was having a very different experience. Positive thinking wasn't dealing with reality. Another example would be recurrence and the focus of blaming oneself for simply not thinking positively enough to keep cancer at bay.

I read Mind Over Menopause, The Complete Mind/Body Approach to Coping with Menopause, to try to explore positive thinking. I found a number of interesting and helpful aspects to the book, but it deals almost entirely with natural menopause and not chemical or surgical menopause, which means it pretty much leaves out women who have some of the most need for a book about being positive about menopause. It is of course simpler for them not to deal in any depth with the more difficult forms of menopause. For that I probably could be accused of "thinking negatively". On the positive side, hopefully they will correct this omission sometime soon and put out a book entirely devoted to chemopause and surgipause?

A.A.

sgishelly · Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:22 pm Post subject: Re: attitude

I see your point...sometimes the outcome is gonna not be good, but I think if you focus your energy on the negatives it makes you miserable. I always try to look for something positive in every situation and sometimes...like with the nausea....the only positive was feeling better after it was over. The thing I was getting at is that some people just kind of give up and decide it's over....I'm of the opinion that if you're going down, you go down fighting...
_________________
Shelly
Dx Nov 1, 2004 at 40 y/o
Right MRM, Left Simple Mast. - 12/9/04
Stage 2A IDC -
Primary tumor 1cm
3+ / 14 nodes, ER/PR+, HER2-
34 rads - finished 5/25
chemo - AC and Taxol FINISHED 7/6/05
beginning reconstruction 2/06
brain mets 4/06 - now stage 4

Marion · Experienced user Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 60

Hi Shelley:

I had the opportunity to be a part of a study that was being conducted by a university to determine just this. The only problem was when you signed up you didn't know which group you would be put into -- the group that was allowed to have support via family, friends, internet, hospital support groups, etc., or the group that could not have any support. It was a ten year study I believe. They were going to follow the women through their treatment, recovery, and recurrence (if any) and then compare. All the women had to be in stage II or less with tumors smaller than 5 cm, lymph node involvement, chemo and radiation treatment, specific age range, etc.

I chose not to participate because I truly believe support provides the best outcome and recovery and I didn't feel I could take the risk of being put into the group that would not be allowed to have support. I felt for my own sake and the sake of my family I owed it to them and myself to do whatever I could to have the best outcome. I admire those women who took part and were willing to be put into the non-support group for the good of all us with this disease.

It will be interesting one day to see what the outcome is of this study.

Marion
_________________
Age: 48
Dx 10/14/04
lumpectomy 10/26
1.6 cm
Stage IIA
SN biopsy 10/29
1/14 nodes +
4 A/C
30 Rads
Taxotere complete
Tamoxifen for 5 years

AlaskaAngel · Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 6:22 pm Post subject: The Tyranny of Positive Thinking

Link: http://www.humansideofcancer.com/chapter2/chapter.2.htm

sgishelly · Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject: Re: attitude

I went to the link that you gave and read the article. What I was saying was not that positive attitude was the only way to be....Lord knows, I have myself a pity party every now and then....but I do think that it's more beneficial, at least to me, to look for the good things rather than the bad. And some people really get bogged down in the negatives. I'm more of a positive person by nature and some people are just more negative by nature....nothing wrong with that, just the way they are. Believe me, I do sometimes feel sorry for myself, but I get over it in a bit and go on. I'm not saying being positive will cure it but it sure makes it easier to deal with.
_________________
Shelly
Dx Nov 1, 2004 at 40 y/o
Right MRM, Left Simple Mast. - 12/9/04
Stage 2A IDC -
Primary tumor 1cm
3+ / 14 nodes, ER/PR+, HER2-
34 rads - finished 5/25
chemo - AC and Taxol FINISHED 7/6/05
beginning reconstruction 2/06
brain mets 4/06 - now stage 4

AlaskaAngel · Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 9:58 pm Post subject: Attitude

Yes -- it is natural and "okay" to feel down when faced with adversity. Different people have different ways of handling stress -- some by putting on a happy face, some by becoming a little more contemplative and quiet, etc. The article explained it much better than I did. Some people are so polite or reserved that it takes feeling very negative before they will get mad enough to try to do something about their situation, while others have to focus on the positive to be able to "see" what alternatives might be available or believe in their ability to try.

And not everyone believes "fighting" to the end is the right thing to do in their personal situation, which is a deeply personal decision that can be honored. It is hard to know when to try to hold onto someone and when to let go.

A.A.

FiddleDeDe · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:13 pm Post subject: Re: attitude

I'm reading [i]Anatomy of Hope[/i] which I find fascinating, a medical study of how hope affects people with serious illnesses.
_________________
Age 37
dx 1/31/05
IDC 8cm
nodes+, #?
Grade 3
ER/PR-/Her-2-
miscarriage 13 wks
chemo 2/22/05 TAC, every 3 wks
masectomy planned after chemo

AlaskaAngel · Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:27 pm Post subject: Anatomy of Hope

This one helped me too...

A.A.

penelopez · Senior User Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 165

Dear Friends,

This is a topic that seems to pop up quite frequently on various boards.

My own feelings - if I have a choice to be in a room filled with positive-thinking people vs a room filled with negative-thinking people, I'll choose the former. This is NOT to say that positive thinking evokes a cure - that would be harsh and cruel to tell someone IMHO. But I think it makes it a heck of a lot easier to get through the day, treatments and other responsibilities. If I had a sense of doom lurking overhead every day, I'd have trouble functioning. Well, it can't hurt to think positive, can it????

For myself, I still fall into that trap of negativity from time to time. And sometimes it's REAL HARD to climb out of it. That's where others can help.

During my diagnosis and treatment I have to admit I was much more positive. After all, I had so much to do getting through the treatments and all. I did read books that I felt were inspirational - Lance Armstrong's book, Montel William's bio, Senator John McCain's book about surviving the POW camp in Vietnam......

Another thing that helps me - my hubby is the kind of guy who makes lemonade out of lemons - you know, those irritating folks! LOL (just kidding!) Some of it rubs off on me.

If I'm in a very negative mood, I try not to respond to anyone's post.

Everyone, have a great week! Very Happy

Hugs,

Margie

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