Yet another BLOW for my dad and my family

mommysgirl

Helensgirl,

Don't ever apologize for speaking how you feel, and if here is were you feel comfortable getting those feeling out then by all means go for it. There are going to be sooo many questions about treatment, after the fact. Should we have should we not have, what should we have done??? The one thing that you should take comfort in, is the fact that your mom is who made the decisions for herself...when she was here. If the treatment options were given to her and she chose the treatment then it was not your decision it was hers. I do see your point with the onc. though because I feel my moms onc. was not as up front with my mom as he could have been. Sometimes I think they are stuck between a rock and a hard place as well. Being in the medical profession myself, I know that it is difficult to gage between quoting statistics and giving hope. How much hope is too much hope??? How many statistics are too many statistics??? What does this person/family expect/want me to say??? If you have read one thing on this forum it is that statistics are just part of the equation. Many people beat the odds, and many do not. And truly in the end I do not think that the physicians really know what outcome there is going to be for any particular individual. I sure hope this helps you helensgirl. Post here anytime.... Smile

And by the way it is past 8:30pm and you should be off to bed by now.lol
I am........ Wink

_________________
mommysgirl

My mom's story
http://cancerforums.net/about7278.html

My dad's story
http://cancerforums.net/about8169.html

brainman

momsgirl and helensgirl I will say a special prayer for you tonight. I too am alone this Christmas Day... totally alone... no family except to you members of this community. Last Christmas at least my sibling were with me. But almost all of my family will be here on the 27th for a couple of days Very Happy

.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

helensgirl

Thanks for the prayer brain...no dreams of my mom yet...I think I'll let it go and be surprised when she does come to me. I cry for my dad...he's 82 and all alone in the house that we grew up in. I'm trying to be upbeat and positive for him, but you all know how hard that can be...mommysgirl, can I ask what your story is?? Would you tell me about your mother?
_________________
...keeping the faith in n.c.
Helen, my wonderful mom, diagnosed May, 07
fought-stage 4 NSCLC, (adenocarcinoma)
earned her place in Heaven, Dec. 14th, 07

brainman

Rather than retalling it, I will give you a link to where I have already told it Wink

.

http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7303

My mother was very special. I can still hear her laughing at dumb jokes Very Happy

. She was the glue that kept my family together.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

helensgirl

Brain,
Thanks for sharing your mom's story with me...you are a really special person.
_________________
...keeping the faith in n.c.
Helen, my wonderful mom, diagnosed May, 07
fought-stage 4 NSCLC, (adenocarcinoma)
earned her place in Heaven, Dec. 14th, 07

helensgirl · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:03 pm Post subject: mommy'sgirl

Mommy's,
I have looked in the LC Alliance website, but still cannot find ur mom's pic and bio. Hope all is going well...Kim
_________________
...keeping the faith in n.c.
Helen, my wonderful mom, diagnosed May, 07
fought-stage 4 NSCLC, (adenocarcinoma)
earned her place in Heaven, Dec. 14th, 07

mommysgirl

Well the time is near. Wednesday at 1:30 I will accompany my dad to the pulmonologist concerning his chest CT. I am very nervous, only I know it will just be another one of "those" appointments.......... You know the ones where you "really" do not find anything out!!!!! Confused

They just order more tests!!! And then you wait....and wait.......and wait!!!!!!!!!! Well wish me luck and keep my dad in your prayers
_________________
mommysgirl

My mom's story
http://cancerforums.net/about7278.html

My dad's story
http://cancerforums.net/about8169.html

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1293

Many good wishes for a smooth appointment. God go with you and your Dad.

PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

brainman

mommysgirl, glad to get the update about your father. Yes, he will be in my prayers. I know how hard waiting for a doctor can be.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

mommysgirl

Well the appointment is over, and guess what???? Exactly what I thought would happen Mad

The doctor said that there is a "significantly" sized suspicious spot on my dads right lung and wanted to do further tests. ie. broch with possible biopsy and perc biopsy if the bronch was unsuccessful at obtaining a biopsy....And yes you guessed it My DAD refused Rolling Eyes

You know I thought this might happen, considering I did know that "if" my dad had any kind of cancer in his lung that he would refuse treatment, so why bother with all the tests right???????????????/ Thats my dad Mad

I guess I dont blame him and after all it is his decision anyways....He feels good and looks good Very Happy

Now my problem is guess what???? He doesn't want me to tell my siblings anything.. He wants me to tell them that there is a spot there and the doctor does not know exactly what it is.......end of story.. The thing is too that not all my sibs even know any of this has happened...........There were so many sib issues with my mom, remember that?????????? Dejavue(sp) I guess if they dont ask, I am not lieing right???? The doc did talk him into getting a TB skin test done although he does not think that is it....and getting a PFT done since he has not had one done since 2005. He may want to add spiriva to his advair. My dad did agree to that. Well keep praying for us. Thanks for all your support.............
_________________
mommysgirl

My mom's story
http://cancerforums.net/about7278.html

My dad's story
http://cancerforums.net/about8169.html

helensgirl

Mommy's!!
Your Dad too? I am so very sorry to hear this...I will be praying for him and for you and your siblings. Take care, Kim
_________________
...keeping the faith in n.c.
Helen, my wonderful mom, diagnosed May, 07
fought-stage 4 NSCLC, (adenocarcinoma)
earned her place in Heaven, Dec. 14th, 07

RLW1 · Regular Joined: 03 Nov 2007 Posts: 31

Mommysgirl (and Daddy's)
Did your Dad get in enough golf on his trip? I don't mean to make light of the doctors but every day should be enjoyed to the fullest. Us widowers need our little pasttimes and pleasures. And our little secrets about "how we are doing" too. He's in my thoughts (and prayers). So are you.
RLW

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1293

[quote]He wants me to tell them that there is a spot there and the doctor does not know exactly what it is.......end of story.[/quote]

Oh dear Mommysgirl!

This should not be happening to you again. Talk about nightmares. I'm so sorry -- this isn't fair at all.

I'd say that you aren't lying based on what the doc said. There is a spot and the doc doesn't know what it is.

I also understand where your Dad is coming from after having been through so much between his own past cancer and your Mom's journey. He's probably had his fill of the "C" word and is too damn tired to care much. I know that's hard to hear for a daughter, but it's reality for the widow/widower.

Try and get some rest and know you cared for in this community.

PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.

Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

mommysgirl

Hi Everyone,
RLW1- How great to hear from you Laughing

You will be happy to know that my dad did get in plenty of golfing, not only that he went on a DATE Surprised

Yes I said date!!!! and he had fun.... I knew that my dad would date soon after my mom's death. My dad has never been "alone". And hates being alone... I know he could never love my mom any less. I just want him to be happy Laughing

Another subject I keep from my sibs, cuz not all of them would be very "happy" about that. Yesterday at the doctor appointment I noticed he was still wearing his wedding ring Crying or Very sad

I said you are still wearing your wedding ring??? He said yes, I AM still married Smile

I wonder what his "date" thought of that though>>>>> So I hope you are doing well. I think of you often.

PBJ----------I just LOVE you Wink

_________________
mommysgirl

My mom's story
http://cancerforums.net/about7278.html

My dad's story
http://cancerforums.net/about8169.html

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