Dad diag. with PC, please help....

deenie · New User Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 9

Sadly, I've found this site. My dad is just 60 years old and in great health. My parent's are my world. I see them everyday and I am very scared.

For the last few weeks my dad has been very itchy, had diarrhea, light colored stools, dark yellow urine, and jaundice for the past few days. But he has no pain and the only reason he went to the Dr. is b/c of the excess diarrhea and jaundice.

They confirmed PC by a CT scan, and then put a stent in his bile duct today to relieve the compression and allow his jaundice to subside.

They also did an X Ray and saw a few small spots on his liver.

Can the best surgeon in the country save my Dad? Everything I am reading is making me more numb. Please...is this horrible cancer a death sentence?

I spent all day with my parents and my mom is not doing well. She wont eat and I feel responsible to be the rock for both her and my dad. I keep telling him if anyone can beat this...he can. I don't want more time with him, I want him in my life. I need him, without him, without them together I'm lost.

I want him to walk me down the aisle next May, I want him to hold his grandchildren he has always yearned for, I want to watch him grow old, I want my dad HERE.

Thanks for listening and if anyone has any advice or prayers please send them my way. I believe in miracles.

brainman

Oh deenie, my heard breaks as I read that your father has Pancreatic Cancer Sad

. PC is one of the worst cancers... especially if it has already metastasized. The question is, can they surgically remove the cancer from his pancreas? He needs to be treated very aggressively. He still has a chance to be at your wedding in May if he ops for aggressive treatment.

Having said that, if my prognosis had been right, I would have died at least 5 years ago. Prognosis is just a statistical probability. It sounds like your father has many reasons to want to fight this cancer.

You and your father are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

deenie · New User Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 9

[quote]He needs to be treated very aggressively. He still has a chance to be at your wedding in May if he ops for aggressive treatment. [/quote]

It's always a death sentence? Denial maybe; but I think he will beat this. I have to believe that.

Big Sister · Experienced user Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 68

Deenie -- Here's what I know about pancreatic cancer: It's mean, it's aggressive, it's nasty and it holds little hope for a cure.

Here's what I know about people who have it: They can have surgery to remove the tumor IF it has not spread. If it has spread, patients can be treated with chemotherapy and/or radiation to try and shrink the tumor. In both cases other treatments are recommended as well. In your dad's case, they will use a stent to drain away the bile. That insertion may ease his jaundice and may help him to eat, but these are usually temporary steps. Encourage relief for pain.

Here's also what I know about people who have it and those who love them: Without trying to mince words, we all follow the 5 classic stages of grief like night follows day. The order varies but here's what we feel:

1. DENIAL. When my brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October, 2006, we all felt that something was wrong, that this couldn't be happening to a healthy 61-year-old man, that surely there was a mistake. He felt the same as well and in the beginning he was strong and confident.
He felt that since he had already been through so much in his life that considering all the medical breakthroughs, he could surely beat this one.

2. ANGER. Rage soon followed denial. As the days passed we were all furious with God, with life, with fate, with circumstance. All but his wife. My sister-in-law was certain that a miracle would descend on her house any moment, that her lifetime of devotion to her God would surely yield a reward this time, that if she concentrated on happy things and was grateful for birds and sunsets and rainbows, that things would turn around. Of course they did not.

3. We BARGAINED for his health. His daughter wanted a dad who would give her away and so promised to straighten up. His son promised to be a better man - more attentive, less scattered. His sister became a member of this forum and knew better but made a pact anyway to stop wasting precious hours on trivial matters.

4. During the last two weeks DEPRESSION set in when we knew that despite all our rage, our denial, our bargaining that we were going to lose him anyway. During this process, of course, there were horrible medical procedures, great discomfort and snotty people who just didn't know how to help either him or the family.

5. Finally, 8 weeks after he was diagnosed, my brother's death a year ago brought measured ACCEPTANCE to all of us. That doesn't mean we weren't sad. In fact, the grief cut through us like a sharp knife for months afterwards as we sorted through clothes, keepsakes, old uniforms, letters and ashes.

Deenie, this note won't help you. What you are looking for is what we all looked for then and what everyone on this forum is looking for now: the reassurance that what we are reading and what we are hearing somehow doesn't apply to us.

You are young but you should learn all you can. Read everyone's posts, understand that you will probably lose your dad and his end will be unpleasant. We have all been where you are now and wish that the cup could have been passed to someone else. It is up to you to deal with this most difficult aspect of your life and to prepare for life without your dad. It sounds like your mom can't or won't help with this whole process. Know that she is feeling exactly what I described above and don't be angry with her. People deal with things as they must.

One suggestion: Get married now. Don't wait. Let him walk you down the aisle while he can. Take lots of pictures. You will not regret it.

I send warm regards and prayers for soft landings, Big Sister Pat

deenie · New User Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 9

Big Sister, thank you for your post but I can not accept this. He feels fine, is in no pain, and is eating great. There have GOT to be survivor stories.

brainman

deenie, there are a few survivors. By "survivor" I mean people who have lived more than 3 years after being diagnosed with stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. I am not sure if any of your current or past member are among that small group I just know that there are some but that it is a small group.

You and your father remain in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

deenie · New User Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 9

Brainman, what percentage of diagnoses are stage IV? When are they able to tell what stage? We have not been presented with a stage? So far they did a scraping...can they tell from that?

brainman

It is stage 4 when it has metastasized to "distant organs" like the liver.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

KRay

Deenie I am a survivor of Pancreatic Cancer for 23 1/2 months. I had Stage 2 and also had the Whipple operation. My understanding is that the Whipple is the only chance to get rid of it. Mine was caught early and I was lucky to have found my symptoms early, went for treatment and it had not spread. A lady I met when I had my Whipple also had hers on the same day by the same Doctor. She had Stage 1 but had unknowingly spread and she died nine months later.

From what I have read (Keep in mind, I am no authority), once it has spread, treatment will delay the final outcome but will not get rid of it.

All I can add to what has been said, is to seek treatment quickly with medical people that have experience with PC. Don't give up hope because I feel I am one of God's miracles.
_________________
Ken

Ampulla of Vater Carcinoma
Whipple Procedure 12-16-2005
Tumor Staging: pT2 pNO pMX
Moderately differentiated invasive Adenocarcinoma of Ampulla of Vater, 3.0 CM Tumor Invading but not through Muscularis Propria
Two Oncologist stated no benefit would be gained with Chemo or Radiation so none was performed

brainman

Ken, I think you are right about the Whipple. There are some people who surgery is not an option... some just because the cancer is too large and others because of its location. I am very glad that it worked for you. My oncologist told me that the only good tumor is one in a jar Laughing

.

You are also right about the prognosis once it has metastasized. None of our current chemotherapies are very good except to slow its growth for a while. I do hope and pray that this changes soon.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

deenie · New User Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 9

Kray, thank you for your beautiful story! I know there are survivors and not everyone is a statistic.

My dad was diag with adenocarcinomas in the pancreas. It is about 1.5-2cmm at the end of his pancreas which was pushing on his bile duct and that's how he knew he was sick because he came jaundice. They made it sound like if it hadn't spread surgery was an option and if it has spread surgery is not an option.

I am praying that it hasn't spread so it sounds like he may be a candidate for the whipple surgery.

We are looking at Dr Vickers in Minn and MD Anderson for treatment. Are those good choices? We want the best and were given those 2 surgeons. Please advise...

We are having to wait for the biospy results though to know if the spots on his liver and lung are cancer. They said they are very minute and would not bring up a flag but they have to check because of the positive cancer on his pancreas. Spots that small could be scar tissue or just cysts they said...

KRay

Jim "I love the statement "the only good tumor is one in a jar". Smart man. Thanks for sharing that with us.

Deenie you need to look for a Doctor that has performed many Whipple operation if in fact that your Dad is a candidate for that procedure. Time is the problem and you just can't put it off, holiday season or not.

In my case I jaundiced one hour hour after arriving in the emergency room. I checked in (12-3-2005) with loss of appetite, dark urine, loss of weight and just an overall bad feeling. No pain. On 12-5-2005 they performed the ECRP, put in a stent and took a biopsy. The biopsy could not rule in or out that it was Cancer but I remember my Doctor statement, it does not matter, if it is not cancer it could turn into cancer and you must get rid of it. It's a No-Brainier, the Whipple is the only choice. You are not leaving this hospital without an appointment to see someone about this". He then gave me choices and I selected Dr John Bolton in New Orleans on 12-8-2005. I had a choice of 12-16-2005 or early January 2006 to have the procedure. I choose 12-16-2005, thinking the quicker the better. I went home on 12-24-2005. See my signature below and see that it was cancer and my stage. What worked for me may not be right for you but I am just sharing my situation with you.

Google Pancreatic Cancer on the Internet to obtain the facts. You need to move NOW as several weeks have gone by. The Whipple procedure is not easy but not doing it is HARDER. Don't wait one more day to get the help you need.

I will be praying for you and I know for sure that prayer works. I have always trusted in God and look what he did for me.
_________________
Ken

Ampulla of Vater Carcinoma
Whipple Procedure 12-16-2005
Tumor Staging: pT2 pNO pMX
Moderately differentiated invasive Adenocarcinoma of Ampulla of Vater, 3.0 CM Tumor Invading but not through Muscularis Propria
Two Oncologist stated no benefit would be gained with Chemo or Radiation so none was performed

bean66 · Regular Joined: 22 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

Deenie,
I felt I had to respond to you because I totally understand. I am the youngest of 6 kids who too has yet to experience all of those wonderful life experiences with my dear dad who too has Pancreatic Cancer. He has Stage III and had the Whipple done in July 07'. So far, so good he has had no return of tumor etc...KNOCK ON WOOD>>>>

First, let me say everything these people are telling you is unfortunately 100% accurate. Heed everything they tell you and take it with a grain of salt.

We all have one thing in common we don't know when exactly (6 mths, 1 year, 5 years) but, at some point PC will get the best of our loved ones so do what matters NOW. Which is what we should have all been doing our whole lives but sadly it took something so devastating for us to realize it.

**The MOST important thing is to find out if your dad is a candidate for the Whipple. If he is GET him to a surgeon who has had MANY whipples under their belt typically at a teaching hospital. This is one of the most difficult surgeries to perform and recover from but, worth the risk.

If he gets the Whipple make sure someone keeps on top of the hospital staff before, during and after his care. Make sure he is getting the best care and everyone is communicating. (Physicans, Nurses, Family)

Find out his Stage so you know what your dealing with. With Mets or without...

Make sure he eats & eats to keep his weight up and his strength.

Get GOOD scans. We took my dad to John Hopkins because they have a very new and very detailed type of cross sectional CAT scan. This helped his surgeons tremendously while performing the Whipple.

BE OPTIMISTIC....Look we know the grim outcome but, your dad will need support and love and he very well might be a lucky one who can stick around for a while. So BE POSTIVE every day you have is a gift. Don't dwell on what might happen but, look forward to getting him over the humps. At least that is how we've delt with it & it seems to help him.

My dad is like I said doing well. Shopping, going out, enjoying life for the most part. There are good days and bad days but, overall I can't complain. Some folks here aren't even able to get the operation. If your dad can get a Whipple it is a miricle that could extend his life.

Good Luck your in my prayers & feel free to message me.

deenie · New User Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 9

Dr Vickers- Univ of Minn...is he the best? One of the best? That is where we are looking right now...

Private message me if you don't want to say anything here just please help me out on this one.

We are in NC and will fly anywhere we have too...just want the best.

KRay

Deenie I'm sorry I am unable to give you guidance on Dr Vickers as I do not know anything about him. Apparently, someone must have recommended him to you; hopefully one of the Doctor's that have been treating your Dad. If not ask one of them for help. I feel there are a lot of good Doctor's that are qualified to do the Whipple, just be sure that they have performed a lot of that procedure. Maybe someone else here can help. Good luck on your selection.
_________________
Ken

Ampulla of Vater Carcinoma
Whipple Procedure 12-16-2005
Tumor Staging: pT2 pNO pMX
Moderately differentiated invasive Adenocarcinoma of Ampulla of Vater, 3.0 CM Tumor Invading but not through Muscularis Propria
Two Oncologist stated no benefit would be gained with Chemo or Radiation so none was performed

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