In the late stages, many ups and downs?

honeysuckle · Regular Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 34

Some of you might have read my posts about my sister who has colon cancer.

We have been called about 5 times saying that she's doing very badly, gather the family! Then the next day she is smiling and able to sit up in bed. She's still at the hospital almost 2 months now.

I've emptied her apartment (her wishes), putting her stuff in storage just in case, handling her financial stuff, making funeral arrangements but now she seems to be doing much better.

I am very thankful of course, but considering she cannot eat and everything is by IV, how much longer can this go on? The oncologist believes that the cancer will kill her, and that she may have days, weeks but not months to live. Yet she said this 18 months ago, and it hasn't happened yet!

It is very draining to say the least. One day I am making funeral arrangements, and the other I am sitting in the hospital laughing with her and talking about all sorts of things. Can a dying person hang on this long and be so alert??? Confused

I feel like when they call again to say she's doing badly, I might ignore them and go the following day!

brainman

Hi honeysuckle, I am one of the ones that has been following your sister's story. At the same time I am very aware of how stressful all of this must be to you.

The usual signs of imminent death are:

1. Not eating or drinking
2. Staying in bed all the time (with increasing times of sleep)
3. Increasing difficulty in breathing (drop in Oxygen saturation of the blood)
4. Significant rise or drop in blood pressure and/or heart rate

It sounds like your sister has the first two but not the last two. However, this can change from one moment to the next. She may rebound when she has friends or family visiting her. My father did that to the point that I felt like I was always "calling wolf." I hate to say it, but there were times when I got so frustrated with him. When it was just the two of us, I had to do so much for him. When I asked my siblings for help and they came, he did not need help so when they went home, the sent out glowing emails about how well Dad was doing. I felt like I was the only one who actually knew how bad he was.

Enjoy whatever time you still have with your sister... even if she does last a month or more. If she reaches that point, the doctors might recommend moving her to a nursing facility. That can be harder than an extended stay in a hospital.

I continue to hold you and your sister in my thoughts and prayers.
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Muttsmom

I personally would get a 2nd opinion and make sure nothing is being missed or something showed up as a false postive and other treatments may be out there. I know nothing about her labs or details, but if someone is still fighting after being told 18 months ago they'd pass on, I wouldn't rely on one doctor's opinion. I think my onco is great and I can't imagine me every changing, but I feel like if I were in your sister's shoes, I would want another opinion.

Best wishes and you both are in my prayers.
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2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
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honeysuckle · Regular Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 34

My sister has stuck with the one oncologist for the last 21 months (it's past the 1 1/2 yr mark), and from day one, that oncologist told her to gather the family because she had 3 months to live. In fact, the Onco had said chemo wouldn't work because of the hundreds of tiny tumours all over her abdomen. My sis insisted and that's how come she lived this long, and was in remission for about 8 months. But right now I am not too sure that this Onco is the best for her. I did ask her to get another opinion, but she's into the loyalty to one doctor mentality.

Muttsmom

I'm no doctor, but from what I have learned over the last 5 1/2 years since I was dx with BC and had close friends have other kinds of cancer, have 1 or a whole bunch of tumors in your body is exactly why you take chemo, to kill them. It doesn't make any sense to me, her onco's logic. I've seen chemo do amazing things. A lady I know had her cancer spread to her liver, lungs and nodes and she is back into remission because of chemo........ not just stable (which is a great thing with Stage IV), but remission and has been for 3 years. I'd keep trying for a 2nd opinion.
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04

In

I too have been following your story, and i'm sad for you and your family. I also find the onco suggestion a little weird. I would also have a second opinion. Or maybe you could contact someone yourself?????

i don't know how that works there. But it's what my family did. I was happy to stay with the Dr i had, and trust his judgment. My family didn't. So they contacted some Dr's and queeried them. Alot wouldn't help till they saw me, but there was 4 or 5 who, believed i should seek second opioions. So i did in the end- mainly for my family's sack, as they explained their concerns and worries.......In the end, It saved me and my son. (who was able to be born).

Anyway, I'm not sure if that helps ay all. Things might be a little different there.

Thinging of you....In
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Thinking of you Inica

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