Being Strong

gailmarie · New User Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 1 Location: stockport

Hi
am new to the site and reading the posts has been a big help thank you to all who have posted, My best friend has secondary liver cancer and sadly jaundice has set in, which l know means time is limited a few weeks maybe, l find it hard to talk to anyone about my feelings, see we are a close set of friends and l've always been the emotionally strong supportive one, and l am finding it hard at times to open up, my friends are all in the same position and l want to be there for them, but mainly for my friend who is dying and her family, she has found that she can tell me things which she struggles to tell others but sometimes l find it hard to deal with, l have told my friend all that l feel for her our friendship and l don't have any unresolved issues, but when l try to talk to people about her it always seems to be focused on what they think feel ect and yet again l'm in the role of being "good old supportive me" but l have this knot in my stomach which hurts so much with pain anger and l just can't let it go, just want to cry but whats the point of crying alone.... I thought losing my parents to cancer was bad but this is also hurting, just want to find a way to deal with it, release it and be there for my friend.

brainman · Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:52 am Post subject: Re: Being Strong

Hi gailmarie, I am truly sorry about your friends condition and also about your difficulty in expressing to your friends your own feelings and needs. It does sound like you need someone to REALLY hear you, am I right? Sometimes people who play the supporter role in a family or group are left without support themselves. I know that this was true for me. I eventually needed professional help to understand this need of my own and before I exploded all over my family and friends. I encourage you to do what you need to do to vent the anger you have. You may need the help of a counselor or therapist or a local support group in order to do that. God bless you and be with you and your friend.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

igt123 · Regular Joined: 21 Jul 2007 Posts: 12

gailmarie, You are not alone as you'll see. I too find it hard to deal with. My sister was diagnosed with Lung Cancer about a month ago and she is 45. She has never been a strong person and has many faults but she is still my sister. The cancer spread and she just finished radiation and will be starting chemo next week. It is quite a blow to get news like this and deal with your feelings. The whole family is affected and at times it seems like your life has bee turned upside down, but I know my sister must be feeling worse than I am. I never thought I'd be posting or even researching this sort of thing but no one said life was easy. I find that people are very scared of this topic and they just don't know what to say or how to say it. The best we can do is be supportive and hope for the best. Do your best and take Brainmans advise. It's o.k. to cry and vent and it's even better if you have someone you can talk to face to face.
Wishing you the best - Steve

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others