Very worried about my Mom and her diagnosis

dwright · New User Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

Yesterday my Mom was told she has Stage 3 melanoma. If what I have read is correct that is rather advanced. Her melanoma was really deep in her arm. She also had a basel cell carcinoma on her leg. I'm very concerned about her and have no idea what to expect with this, treatment, prognosis or otherwise. She will be seeing a skin cancer specialist later this week. My grandfather (her dad) ultimately died because of cancer that started as melanoma. Sad

Does anyone have any insight, words of wisdom or otherwise they can offer me?

brainman

Hi dwright and welcome to the Cancer Forums. I am sorry that you joined because your mother has melanoma! How much do you remember about your grandfather's struggle with melanoma? Although new and better forms of treatment are now available, it is likely that your mother will follow the general pattern of her father. At least your grandfather's experience will give you a frame of reference from which to draw your questions for the medical team. I often encourage people to start a medical journal and include in it a section for all the questions they have and answers they receive. It is so easy to forget to ask a question when the doctor rushes in and out of the examination room. Almost any good doctor will ask if you have any questions. That is the time to pull out the medical journal and look at your list of questions.

Did your mother actually have a biopsy of the cancer or is this just a pre-biopsy diagnosis?

I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts and my prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

dwright · New User Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

Hi Jim - thanks for your reply. I honestly don't remember anything about what happened with my grandfather specifically as I was only 5 when he passed away. I only know that his struggle and ultimate death started this way because my mother told me.

She had a punch (?) biopsy - where they remove a center section of spot. The pathology report listed it as a stage 3 melanoma. I can give you some terms from the report but cannot put them into sentences as I don't have the report. I only jotted down notes as Mom was telling me over the phone yesterday. They told her it was deep and said it was down into or past the hair follicles and under the epidermis. It said something about scattered cells in the dermis, prominent dysplastic cells some with cyto.....something (can't read my own writing), pagetoid spread, and something about histological features. Also something about lymph____ invasion. Again my writing was poor yesterday and I was hurrying.

They are sending her to a skin cancer specialist not far from where I live. She lives about 85 miles away from me...not too far but far enough when something like this is going on.

Her brother has also had several spots but has been able to treat them with some kind of creme..I guess he caught them early or something.

brainman

Comment about your uncle first: Based only on the fact that he is treating these spots with a cream, it sounds like he has some form of pre-cancerous growth. Usually nothing to worry about just something to watch.

Now to your mother and grandfather: You are starting out by doing exactly what I suggested... keeping notes. Ask your mother do tell her medical team that you have permission to access her medical records. Make sure that request is documented in her files. Maybe even have her name you as her healthcare surrogate. That is a legal status that the doctors have to honor. Then you can ask her medical team for copies of their reports. I kept a copy of every test report for my father and I still keep a copy of my test reports.

I am sure that in the next few weeks your mother will undergo many tests. Hopefully, the medical team will order a full body scan to see if the cancer has spread elsewhere in your mother's body. Surgery, radiation therapy, and/or chemotherapy will follow. After that, she will have periodic visits to the oncologist to make sure that the cancer has not returned.

If she has surgery (which is highly likely), the term you need to listen for or ask about is "clear margins." That means that the pathologist could not find any cancer cells on the surface of the piece the cut out and is a good sign. Otherwise, they may need to do a second surgery.

That is just a little of what you should expect. It is different for each individual. However, that is the general course for any cancer.

I also encourage you to go with your mother to her doctor's appointments , as long as she feels comfortable with you being in the room with her. That way you can ask your questions directly to the doctor.

Best wishes.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

dwright · New User Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

Thank you. This is hard and scary. We just lost my grandmother (mom's mom) a little over a month ago. It wasn't to cancer however, it was just old age and stroke related issues. But we're still licking our wounds from that and then this comes. Whoa is all, feeling very overwhelmed right now. I plan to support her and do everything I can. I know my Dad will be right beside her as well. I will be asking lots of questions and i think keeping a notebook or journal would be a good idea.

Knowing all people are differant...should "Stage 3" scare me like it does? Do people recover from that routinely or is it all dependant upon if & how much metastasis has already occurred?

Anything I read kind of sounds like it could go either way at that point.

brainman

Should a stage 3 concern you? Yes. Is it curable? With aggressive treatment, yes. Is it a death sentence? Not necessarily but I would ask her medical team for a prognosis. Stage 3 means that the cancer has spread to the nearby lymph nodes. That is why I think they will want a full-body scan to make sure that it has not spread beyond those lymph nodes (which by definition would make it a stage 4). I don't want to overwhelm you... I know that you are just trying to adjust to the fact that your mother has the same cancer that took the life of your grandfather.

I am also very sorry to hear that you are still grieving over the death of your maternal grandmother!! I will keep you and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Jim_Hall · Regular Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 48

Stage 3 usually involves the lymph nodes. "Breslow Depth" is a term used to describe how deeply the cancer has invaded the skin, described in (mm). At 1mm and greater they usually want to do a sentinal node biopsy, in which they remove lymph nodes that contain cancer, if there are any. It is also possible for cancer travel through blood vessels as well as the lymph nodes. I've heard that many live years and years after stage 3. Stage 4 is classified as metastasis.

dwright · New User Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

Thanks again for the input as well as the prayers. I appreciate your time and the responses.

BJSpannaus · New User Joined: 31 Mar 2007 Posts: 4

Melanoma is a cancer that can be very serious, but there are several treatments available that can suppress and sometimes kill the cancer cells. Each person has a different prognosis so don't be thrown by the statistics. If it is possible, get your mother to a major cancer center where there is a melanoma clinic with doctors who are specialists.
Set up your appointments and do what you have to do. Take one day at a time. If your insurance company rejects any request, go through the appeal process and politely persist. Choose aggressiveness over the wait and see approach.
Go to MPIP.org (The Melanoma Patients Information Page) Explore the site and read Bulletin Board. Ask any and all questions regarding treatments and care for your Mother. There are several people there who are very knowledgeable and willing to help you go through this experience. You will also learn that there are many Stage 3 and 4 survivors.
Ask God to be with your mother and your family...He will. Even though this is a major kick in the stomach, God will support you through each minute of each day. Sincerely, Barbara

dwright · New User Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

Thank you Barbara for your reply. You are right about God - I have faith and will continue to ask for his loving hand in everything we are dealing with. Smile

Tomorrow morning is her appt with the specialist. They will be excising a larger biopsy and checking her over from head to toe. They plan to scrape the spot on her leg that was less serious. My Dad will be driving her but I am still going just because I want to be there and she asked me to come. She said 6 ears are better than 2. She is keeping a great attitude. She's a strong woman. I can only hope that I have grown to be as wonderful of a woman as she is. I figure I can pick up some tips on what I should be looking for as well. I'm rather nervous about it myself now. Very fair skinned, lots of sunburns, I never tan, only get red. I figure I better take an active role in watching myself from now on. Mom realizes that she put this off too long and should have had this looked at sooner but taking care of Grandma for 2+ years, she put herself on the back burner. Since it wasn't bothering her...she didn't think it necessary. I have learned from her that you cannot judge the seriousness of these things just by looking yourself or thinking, eh...it's not bothering me so I don't need to see anyone. No..bad choice - if you think anything is odd, please have it looked at. It could save your life!

dwright · New User Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

I'm VERY happy to report that Mom's report is good. We found out last night that they got clear margins on her excision and she needs no further treatment at this time. She will have regular follow up's every three months for awhile and then they will cut that down a bit if nothing else comes up.

Jim_Hall · Regular Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 48

Glad to hear that dwright. That is good news. Smile

brainman

Wonderful news, dwright!!! It is always great to hear some good news. I hope and continue to pray that your mother will continue to improve and that no matter what happens God will be there with her and with you.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Melanoma and Skin Cancer Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others