ihatecancer
New User
Joined: 03 Jul 2007
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:29 pm Post subject: confused |
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| Hello, I've been trying to find out more on cancer, specifically throat cancer. My girlfriend just found out she had a cancerous growth in her neck/throat. we've been going out for several months(around 5-6) and I've been trying really hard to get her to go see the doctor and get checked up. a couple of days ago she got really sick and her parents made her go get checked up and that's when she found out. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this becuz I'm not sure how to handle it. Will our relationship change drastically? should i go to the doctor and get checked as well? We've never had sex but we do kiss. Should I be worried? How can i make her feel even a little better? I can't stand to see her sad and to watch her go through it and there's nothing I can do to make it go away. if anyone's been through anything similar or if u have any advice or answers, pleasee let me know it would b greatly appreciated. |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4286
Location: Tennessee
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| Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject: Re: confused |
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Hi,
I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend has cancer!! It will definitely be a test of your relationship and love for each other. You might want to seek professional help in order to deal with this.
You do not have to worry about you "catching" cancer from her... cancer is not transmitted from one person to another. I will keep you and your girlfriend in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
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Muttsmom
Senior User
Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 629
Location: Northern AL
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| Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:52 pm Post subject: Re: confused |
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Hi,
As Jim said, you can't "catch" cancer.
The best thing you can do is just be there for her. She'll let you know when she wants to talk about it. Without knowing much about her dx, I'd just be assuming she'd get chemo and radiation. If that's the case, she'll have good days and bad days, but right now, it's pure terror. She'll go through every emotion possible and some she didn't know existed, and the best thing you can do is be there to listen. Give her a caring shoulder to vet to, to lean on when she needs to. The last thing I wanted was to hear, "you'll be fine". There's no way you can understand what she's going through and she knows that and she wouldn't want you to understand, because that would mean you had a cancer dx. They have come a long way with treatment, and people do good through treatment, with minimal side affects. Some have more then others, but there are meds that really help. I was dx Stage III (Stage IV is the worst, so I wasn't far from it) and had just turned 43. The "stats" weren't in my favor for the 1st 5 years, but it's been over 5 years and I'm still doing great with no signs of cancer. If you need to cry, then do it. You'll be going through a lot of emotions yourself, and you are allowed to be afraid and confused. Once she gets through the initital shock, she'll start getting mad at the disease and she'll be ready to fight the beast.
Best wishes to you both and you're both in my prayers.
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04 |
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