Dad diag with EC, need to vent a bit here!

boomer135 · New User Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 6

Ok, so i have done my research, and i know that EC is not good in any aspect. From what i see many don't survive past 5 years. I was at a Tattoo shop and after i got my work done i noticed a few missed calls on my phone. The whole fam got together so my Dad could tell them all the news. 3 weeks prior my Dad was throwing up some blood and was hopitalized for 4 days, they found a tumor and it tested +.

I was getting ready for another knee surgery, and no one told me because they all new i would drop it and fly home (Military stationed in OK)

Last week after the PET scan and a few other tests, they found the tumor to be a T2, (from what i reasearced it's not through the esophagus but 4 layers are penetrated)

My Dad is my best friend and it's just tought to talk with him about this... My familiy is all about quality not quantity...And him and i are very similiar...As i know he is i wouldn't wan't the constant phone calls asking how are you feeling.....I still stay in contact with him as usual but don't bring it up unless he does (makes sense) we aren't refusing it to exist but just taking things one step at a time........I just need to vent a bit here........I just don't want to loose my buddy! MY DAD!!!

brainman

Boomer, when I was first diagnosed I felt the same way. I did not what people to treat me as if I were dieing right then and there. However, I wanted to know that people cared about me. I think each of us needs to find our own way through the grieving process. Having said that, your father does need to know how you feel. I am not suggesting you need to call him every day and ask him how HE feels. I am suggesting that sometime soon you should share with him YOUR feelings. Cancer (if fact any disease) is a lonely thing to suffer with unless you know that others understand and are with you.

You and your father are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

boomer135 · New User Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 6

he knows how i feel and we discussed it. It's just a better way through this. It look as if he will have his first surgery soon ( removal of partial esophagus)

We are just taking it a step at a time...thanks for the support.

brainman

Then, boomer, it looks like you and your father have a well established form of communication. Keep those lines open.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

boomer135 · New User Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 6

so i told my dad for his first surgery i would fly down and i knew he wouldn't want me to see him with all the lines, and feeding tubes in the hospital...we agreed that i would be there on the last two days of his hospital stay and spend the next two weeks after he is released to spend time at home with him rather than in the hospital bed.... We know eachother very well, my question here what would be able to do together after his surgery? I don't want to bring things up that he will be unable to do...fishing / shooting/ would things like that be ok, i guess it all depends if he is up to it right. but what should i put my foot down on him not doing? He will be have partial esophagus removal.

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 702 Location: UK

He should do as much as he feels like doing - just make sure he doesn't strain himself, and that he can walk back to where he started from if you go out.

You have to give time for recovery from a major operation and adjustment to a new pattern of eating, but once he has energy, he should do what he wants. It may be a year before things are anything like normal, so don't force it. You'll have to work on keeping him patient! I see no harm in discussing the possibility of going fishing or shooting, and planning ahead to doing them.

brainman

I agree with Vee but just add one more thing: His medical team will provide you with a list of things that he should not do. Usually, it is things like "don't lift more than a gallon of milk until your next doctor's appointment." If they do not volunteer such a list, request one from them.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

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