new diagnosis-why chemo and/or radiation?

graytonmama · New User Joined: 19 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

My best friend of 35+ yrs. recently had a hysterectomy and cancer was unexpectedly found. The doctor told her,"we got it all". He said lymph nodes and all they could see and feel looked ok. She was told the pathology report said stage 2-3. Could this be stage II-3-is there such a thing? She doesn't see the oncologist for 2 more weeks. I am a nurse, but this is not my area of expertise!! Her surgeon said she would probably need radiation and chemo, but my friend wonders why she would need either if "they got it all". She says she thinks she will refuse chemo and maybe radiation.....She seems to be in some denial, which I realize is completely normal....HELP!!! Thanks SO much!!

cardoso · Guest

Explain to your friend that cancer is not a flu. Maybe in 50 ou 60 years we will behave like that, but not now.

they've got it all, OK, but some cells always escape. They're there, right now, and sometimes the patient's body can't deal with the nasty bastards, and the thing comes back.

As the doctor will explain with more polite terms, there are two choices: Do the whole chemo/radiation thing, or pretend everything is 100% fine, go home in denial and increase your chances of returning, a few years from now.

graytonmama · New User Joined: 19 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

Just(?) an update on my friend. The oncologist told her, after a PET scan, that cancer is in the uterine and pelvic lymph nodes and that she needs chemo as well as radiation. My friend is in serious denial! We will talk for a few minutes and she says, "I don't want to talk about this anymore today at least". She is "having a positive outlook and thinking I won't need the chemo". What is the difference in a positive outlook and denial?? She has done NO research and says she is not going to. What is the prognosis (how long) if she has no treatment? Being a nurse, as I mentioned, it is making me crazy. She is 55 by the way and generally healthy. I know she has grade 3 and it sounds like stage 3 because her Dr. told her(all of this was on the PHONE) that "we have to treat this very aggressively". She sees the chemo as poison, but not the cancer. She won't see the oncologist until the radiation is over, so who is going to tell her how serious this is and when or did she just not "get it" from the phone call from the oncologist? PLEASE HELP!!!!

Nikki · New User Joined: 29 Jan 2007 Posts: 9

Denial is normal. My mom went through it also when she got diagnosed. She began chemo back on February 8th (my 30th birthday of all days!) and she will finish it up on May 24th. It's been a hard road for her, but she has good days and bad days. It's not near as bad as we thought it would be, but it's still rough at times. She began her radiation last week and only has to have 4 of those treatments. After May 24th, she can finally get her life back!

Just be there for your friend. let her get through this denial phase and hopefully she will give the treatment a shot. Remind her that the months of treatment are such a small part of the rest of her life. She will get through it and hopefully be cancer free forever!

graytonmama · New User Joined: 19 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

Thanks so much for your reply! It was interesting because I just told her last week that this won't go on forever-it's a relatively short period of time. However, she still doesn't want to talk about it. She does not push herself at all which worries me. She had her5th radiation treatment today, has 20 more to go, then internal radiation, then chemotherapy. I will be her caregiver and I know this will test our friendship, but she is not going to get rid of me. I have decided not to push her-I say that, but what about when she doesn't want to eat or go for treatment? What resources-websites, books,groups, etc. have you found helpful?

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