Hello Everyone

virgogirl · New User Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: west yorks

Hiya
I have just found this forum and have been comforted by the many postings on here!
My mum (who lives over 300 miles away) recovered from Bowel cancer but is now living with secondary Liver cancer.She has had chemo and her specialist has advised her not to have any further treatment and gave her aprox 12months life expectancy back in August.
Mum is so brave,and never complains but as you can imagine we are so worried for her
At the moment she is taking Morphine (liquid and tablet form) to ease her pain from the swelling in her tummy
Living so far away is the hardest thing..it's breaking my heart not being able to see her as often as I should

lifestooshort · Regular Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 19

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. What she's going through sounds exactly like what my mum went through and that was so painful to watch. My mum was also incredibly brave and I can only imagine what the pain was like for her. She also lived 400 miles away and although I tried my best to get back as much as I could, I still wished I'd been around more.

It sounds like your mum has ascites around her stomach now and this is the worst thing about this illness as not only is it quite painful on the organs but it's also unsightly - at least my mum thought so. If you don't mind I have a small piece of advice for you which I wish someone had given me. The pain might get very bad for your mum, but one thing which she really should avoid and what the doctors might suggest, is draining the fluid. Although this provides a massive amount of relief, it really is only very temporary and afterwards sucks a lot of energy out of the person. My mum had this done about 4 weeks before she passed away and I really regret this a lot.

I wish you all the best.

virgogirl · New User Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: west yorks

Thanks a lot for your advice and insight to what is happening
I will be going to see mum with my younger sister in just over a week so I will be able to see how things are
She says she is sometimes in real bad pain with the swelling but is waiting to see her consultant some time in January,she is having regular scans to see how much the cancer is spreading
I will keep looking on here as already I have much more knowledge of whats going on
Also can I say that my thoughts and prayers are with you...God bless you!

byermoor2 · Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 5:26 pm Post subject: Re: Hello Everyone

hi
i have just read your post and i 2nd it,my mother had the fluid removed about 4 weeks before she died,they said it would come back as it was the cancer producing it.Life is so unfair i lost my dad on the 18 oct and my mam on the 23 nov and i car'nt come to terms with it.I was with her all the way through it so were the rest of my brothers and sisters.my dad died of lukemia and we did not know he had it until 2 days before he died .So now i am at the angry stage with the doctors for not finding out sooner,as all the family knew there was something not rigtht with both of them for a few years.I just hope i can find the strength to go on as my daily tasks were to go to my mam and dads house every day even before they were ill as i only live round the corner.I dont go to that end of the street now as i car'nt beleave that they are not there.I car'nt say i wish i done this and that for them as i know i done everything but it still hurts so much.they say time heals, i don't think so,i think it all depends how close you were to them.God Bless

virgogirl · New User Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: west yorks

My heart goes out to you! To lose your mum and dad in such a short space of time must be the most unbearable thing anyone has to go through!
It's so sad that the doctor did not diagnose what was wrong before it was too late,no wonder you and your family are angry
I can say that my mums doctor has been fantastic throughout,I can not fault any of her decisions so far
I have asked my mum if she has had the option of having it drained but as yet she hasn't
When my sister and I go to see her next week,hopefully we can talk to her about it,but as you can imagine its not something to discuss over the phone
I will keep in touch

Time will heal the sorrow.
Loving memories you will always share.
My heart is going out to you today.
I want you to know ~ I care

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time

emog · New User Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 3

Hi virgo girl,

I also just joined this site and yes it is very comforting to read about everyones experiences and how they all cope.

I also struggle with the same problem you do. My best friend has Melanoma and is also on quite a bit of morphine. However like yourself with your mum, my friend also lives far away. I want to be there all the time and I feel like I am on borrowed time, you know? You can only do the best you can.

I am sure you are going through a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you and your family.

Take care and keep us posted on how your mum is doing.

Eli

virgogirl · New User Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: west yorks

Hello
Thanks for your kind words...it realy does help knowing that there are people in the same situation and feels what each other is going through!
My mum had a letter from her consultant and it states that her cancer has grown considerably and that her blood count is very low... she goes to see him on Tuesday to discuss "The way forward" I was too upset to ask her what that meant at the time... I am supposing he will guide her as to what to expect in the time she has left....
Anyone with any thoughts on what he means by that statement??

lifestooshort · Regular Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 19

Hi Virgo Girl,

I'm really sorry to hear about this letter your mum has got. I wouldn't like to speculate but "the way forward" could be anything from your mum being told to get her affairs in order, (as in, the doctors can do no more), or there could be the possibility of more surgery, chemotherapy or radiation. To be honest, at this stage of your mum's illness, these are going to be very harsh treatments. The Chemo our doctors gave to my mum in the last year of her life was very aggressive, and I have a lot of regrets about whether it was the right thing to do. In the end, my mother didn't die from her tumour, she just wasted away. Her body wasn't getting any nourishment from the food she was eating and believe me, she was eating a fair amount.

Consider any treatment your doctor suggests very carefully. I don't want to tell you what to do but our situations sound so similar and I think I would've made very different decisions with hindsight. If your mother has already been given 12 months by the doctors, (not always accurate), then she has some hope and you should investigate alternative treatments through the Internet. We were left to do this with my mother and whilst it didn't work for her I did see cases of people in dire straites recovering. The reason why I didn't think it worked for my mother is that, we left it too late, she had too much chemotheraphy which wasnt even going to cure her in the first place, and then we made the fatal mistake of allowing the doctors to drain her.

Also, your mother's blood count being low is a bit worrying. She could be at risk from an illness or infection. Try to increase this - there are lots of tips on how to do this on the Internet. Diet and Supplements all help.

I really hope tomorrow goes ok, let us know how you get on.

virgogirl · New User Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: west yorks

Hello lifestooshort
My mum has already had quite a lot of aggresive chemo( it made her ill but she never once complained) and when she saw the consultant in August he recomended that she had quality rather than quantity and no more treatment has been given except morphine for pain relief.She has been having regular check ups since then to moniter her blood count etc and it sounds like the cancer has grown quite a lot since her last CT scan.
I will speak to Mum after her check up to see how things are
Thanks so much for your post... it all helps so much
God bless you and your family

cpf8 · New User Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 3

Hi, I know there are quite a number of patient in China try the TCM. you may find it online.
_________________
http://www.cpf8.com -Cancer Patient Forum

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 684 Location: UK

http://tinyurl.com/kkwpl - This is a new treatment which might be worth your while discussing with the doctors and maybe getting a referral.

Zress · Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:40 am Post subject: Re: Hello Everyone

some times doing what you have to do and what you want to do can bring joy to those you love. i'd dreamed of going to california, when my mom was dignosed i thought about not going. she gave me some money and sent me on my way. i was there 3 months and thousands of miles away. and i couldn't have made my mom any happyer.
_________________
What Cancer takes From Us, We Must Use To Give Hope To Those Who Have Hope.

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others