Mums now gone

Nomoremum · New User Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 8 Location: Australia

Hello everyone

I lost my Mum and I have already put on a message before. Not quite sure how it works this website. So am trying again. I lost Mum on the 29th January 2007 aged 61 to lung cancer. She was such a beautiful person adn I really really miss her. It's not fair. I still dont believe she's gone. How can you accept that you will never hug her or laugh with her or ask her what clothes you should wear or anything ever again. It kind of makes you lost faith in the world, I mean why get to know anybody when the one thing certain in life is death. To go through life meeting people is amazing though and that's what keeps us going and makes our lives worthwhile. However losing people that have touched your life is such an enormous burden. To carry around this feeling with you everywhere you go is just horrendous. I look at the things happening around the world when I feel really down and it makes me feel lucky to live in Australia where my biggest emotional problem is the loss of my Mum. People in other places have it much harder and have lost whole families to war. I'm just torn. I have good days and bad days. Today is a bad day! I am at work trying to hide my tears. I work with old people and babies so both of them are upsetting me. Old because Mum will never be old and babies because Mum will never see mine. I just want to thank everyone for listening to me ramble if anyone is. Thanks again. I feel like such a sook because I am usually such a private person. Cool

Zress · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:53 am Post subject: Re: Mums now gone

Hey man/lady you lost a family member to war. and its a war none of us ever trained to fight in. i lost my momma Feb 15 age 49 to melanoma of the brain, and i cry every day. man i don't think theres a way to accept that were never going to hug our mommas again. were not ment to accept that not when were young and so were our mommas. but lissen to me you can't be scared of the world even though its the most horifying place in the world because our worlds at a stand still and there world floats along happy and in control. would your momma want you to lose your faith? what you have left is those things she did tell you those things you can hold on to. and you can't try to make this fair cancers not fair its not assigned to bad people it just happens and it kills theres nothing fair about that. don't try to reason that out it doesn't work. I use this here as a place to write those private things that i can't tell any one else in the real world. every one heres here because were fighting a war braveing a battle or suffering a loss. i think alot of the timem people don't respond because theres not alot to say, its not like we understand we all suffer diffrent its like those people that ask you " how are you doing " and you just kinda look at them or the people who say "they understand" and in your mind your screaming that they don't have a clue in heaven or hell.

you write man and i'll read, you got my promise.

Peace,
Jesse
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What Cancer takes From Us, We Must Use To Give Hope To Those Who Have Hope.

Nomoremum · New User Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 8 Location: Australia

Thanks heaps for that message. It made me put things into perspective a little. It's true we will always miss our Mums and that's life. I just read a book and in it the writer explained death like this part of life is bootcamp where everything is hard and unfair. Once you die you pass over to service where you try and help the people on earth still deal with things and show them the right way. The final one is the heaven. So if that's true and who knows then our Mums are sitting back having a ball. It's still not like having them here but hey atleast they aren't in pain. I keep dreaming about her where I talk to her about things happening and it's so real her responses and stuff so that's cool. Your Mum was so young i am so sorry to hear about that. It's hard. A daughter losing her Mum is painful at any age but especially when your young yourself. I'm 26. Kidless, not married yet etc. That will be a sad day when I get around to doing all that knowing I wont see her face as she walks in the labour room or whatever. Anyway I feel a bit better today I have good days and bad days.

I also wanted to apologise for comparing cancer to war and trying to downplay it. Your right it is our own war. Just because other people are suffering more doesnt mean that we're not suffering.

Cheers

SheLovesKoalas · New User Joined: 19 Jan 2007 Posts: 5 Location: NJ

I no longer consider the word "fair" as part of my vocabulary since her death. Cancer has no preference. It can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

In 1996, my loving Mother, 59 years young passed away after a 9 month battle with Ovarian cancer. After 18 months of symptoms, being misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, poking and prodding, some Dr had the brilliant idea to do a cancer screen CA125. The results to follow sent our family into a nightmare that only those who have been there can understand.......

I have thought long and hard about my anger, resentment, turmoil, hate, fear, loss and eventual acceptance. I have reduced it to a simplicity that I hope you will some day find.

I was never a very religious person, nor was happy with God at the time of my Mom's illness and eventual passing. But what I did realize that my
faith in God only strengthened with her passing. I hope it makes sense when I say that it was only my belief in God that got me through those darkest days following her death. If I did not believe in God at that most crucial time in my life, I would have had no faith in anything. So I chose to turn to God, believe he knew best, and prayed that he could carry me thru the ordeal. After all, God was all I had left.

Life as I once knew it will never be the same. I and her grandson and my Dad miss her everyday. I have went on to have another child, one she would certainly been delighted with. He has her personality, her charm and her happy laughter that makes me smile. I see her in him. And when the anger arose, almost cursing my God for her not being able to meet her newest grandson, it was then that I realized that she has met him. She sent him to me.

I know it must sound corny, but that is what gets me thru and keeps me going. That, and knowing that someday she and I will be hand in hand once again.

Love,
Merge's Daughter Wink

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In memory of Merge.......

Nomoremum · New User Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 8 Location: Australia

Thanks sheloveskoalas

Your Mum passed away in 1996 that's scary to think that the pain never goes away. Although I knew it wouldnt. Just gets better hopefully. I went to a catholic school and I know Mum believed in God when she got sick, because as you said there's not much else you can do.

I believe Mum has gone somewhere better. She was such a beautiful person who had such a hard life and came out of a winner. I think if there's a heaven Mum would have been welcomed with open arms. God couldnt wait for her to come home. I mean there has to be something else out there, surely this isnt it?

As they say faith dies last.
_________________
Laugh often, live much

Clare2010 · New User Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 3 Location: London

Hi

I just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts. Your mum will never really leave you, not in spirit. She is still there with you willing you to carry on. I firmly believe that those who have passed watch over us and that one day we will be reunited with them in Heaven.

Please take care of yourself and try to keep strong. You're in my prayers.xxxxx

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