How long and what to expect?

brainman · Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject: Re: How long and what to expect?

Jen, my mother and my father got confused, disoriented, and forgetful toward the end of their lives. My mother died due to a GBM and my father due to Leukemia complications. I am not saying that your mother is nearing death, only that I know what you are facing as a care provider for your mother. What I did was to try to remain patient with my mother, siblings, AND myself. Sometimes it is hardest to remain patient with yourself than it is with the others… at least for me it was. I found myself getting frustrated with myself because I did not know what to do or what to say. Then I remembered that it was not anything I needed to do OR say, but what I needed to “BE.” I needed to be a caring and loving son to my parents and to the rest of my family. You sound like you are a caring daughter. That is what your mother needs the most right now.

God bless you and be with you.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

michelesmith · Experienced user Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 72

Jen,
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. You are going through a lot. Please know you are in my thoughts.

As far as your mother's condition. It is often hard to know what is the disease and what is the affects of treatment. I can not say which this is. My dad went through those same things after treatment. In his case he never really recovered. However, from what the doctors say he eventually passed from the effects of the radiation/chemo/steroids/etc. and not actually from the tumor. The tumor seemed to be shrinking and things seemed to be under control, however the large doses of radiation really took their toll and the affects of the steroids complicated matters. As has already been said, just try to be there for her and let her know that you are there to support her at this time. She may still gain back a measure of her health and strength. Do not give up your hope while there is still time. We'll be here for you through it all.
_________________
Michele

Kris · Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:15 pm Post subject: Re: How long and what to expect?

Dear Jenny,

I'm also very sad to hear your recent loss. You're strong and we'll strengthen you even more.

Replying to your question about confusion, my Mum first lost her short time memory, but her long term memory stayed incredibly intact even for a long time after... she forgot was she said 30 mins before, but she remembered what we ate on a Christmas Eve in 1990.

Then with the worsening of the disease and with the advancing time, she stepped into a period of agressivity, then she started to show increasing signs of confusion. She talked about people and stories we never heard about. Docs said the tumor affects the centre of personality and mood. Then she started to have visions and hallucinations, and then they said it might have been due to the tumor itself but also due to the heavy doses of steroids and morphine.

Then she started to sleep more and more, almost all day and night, with intermitting periods of fears and visions.

Then she got "calm", sleeping almost all the time, but she could hear us and even responded very weakly, whispering. Her confusion and visions disappeared and she became incredibly "clear" just a few days before she slipped into coma.

Even in this confused phase, do talk to her a lot, respond to her confused questions as if you understood them, agree on all the stories she tells you, as you knew them all, and do not disagree with her or negate what she says. I remember when in the confused period of Mum, one day she told me that we should really take care and be cautious, because the Turkish army is just about to invade us, - I replied to her "don't worry Mum, we are in a very well protected hospital where Turkish can't get in". She took it for granted and fell asleep.

Confusion is part of the usual flow of the disease. It will require lots of patience from you and from your family.

All my thoughts are with you to strengthen you.

Kris

brunette · Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:22 am Post subject: Re: How long and what to expect?

Thankyou all for taking time to reply, its much appreciated.

Mum should be moving into a hospice next week. At last the nurses decided to sedate her before bedtime, now shes sleeping better her confusion and tearfulness seems to have improved slightly.

Take care all of you, youre in my thoughts xxx Jen

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Brain Tumors Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours Goto page Previous 1, 2
Page 2 of 2

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others