Hi, new here

cg2forrest · Regular Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 34

Hi All,

Forrest is now on Hospice care. I thank God we got Hospice, for he has gone down hill extremely fast the last 48 hours. I am so scared ...

God bless,
Joy

Chain · Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:40 am Post subject: Re: Hi, new here

hi Joy,

Im going to go out on a limb here and try with all my heart not to sound too hard, but darlin....

In your situation, the way I would handle it is, just be there for him, hold his hand, kiss his face, give him hugs. Im sure you already do. Your going to worry yourself into an unhealthy situation. I know its easier said than done, and easy for someone else to say, but if... thats IF, your husband is approaching the end of his journey, then, I think the best you can do is just help him be as dignified and as comfortable as possible. The last thing he needs right now is to see you panicky, or afraid. YOu will cause him to feel the same. Remember, he is in his own personal hell. When the time comes its going to be a relief for him, and you. I have begun to look at things this way myself. My girl is growing weaker by the day, and eventually, sooner than later, her personal hell will end and she will be at peace. and that will be a huge relief for her and me.
Keep your chin up Joy, and be strong. Darlin, you of all people have to dig deep now and show him that he doesnt have to worry about his girl.

Chain.

Kris · Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 3:54 am Post subject: Journey close to its end

Dear friends, Joy and Chain

Since the past week-end Mum was not even able to move her arms and legs, she's lying in her hospital bed on perfusions and steroids, and she's on 3-4X morphine a day. On Monday morning we talked to the medical staff and asked them not to prolong this final-stage period with perfusions and to give her nothing else than painkiller morpine to avoid her having any pain. It was a very hard decision but it will be better for her, for us.
It has been so hard to endure seeing her deteriorating and going weaker and weaker, that I believe that knowing her being in peace will be a relief. Especially for her.

In my head, I'd love to have her staying with me anyhow, but my heart has let her go: I want her to be in peace.

I'm with you in thoughts and prayers and would like to send you a piece of my peaceful soul to strengthen you in this stage with your beloved ones.

Kris

Sammict · Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:17 pm Post subject: Re: Hi, new here

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your replies, it certainly does help to know you're not the only one going through this.

I'm now back in Australia and exhausted, it has been a very hard week trying to sort everything in the UK, and here and jetlag, not to mention coping with Dad.

They have increased his steroids to triple the original amount, but I'm afraid it doesn't seem to be helping. He is still very confused and is now losing bladder control on a regular basis. His appetite is very poor and the weight is just falling off him, he is becoming very frail and tired. He needs to be watched 24/7 and we have now moved him downstairs to sleep in the hospital bed, as the risk of him falling down the stairs is too high.

On Monday he had a seizure which resulted in loss of bowel control and was very distressing for us all. This is the first time he has had a seizure since he was first admitted to hospital in June. We took him for his MRI scan on Tuesday and have to go back for the results on Friday, which I'm very scared about, in my heart I know it's not going to be good news.

I'm feeling very stressed at the moment as I am supposed to be doing my job from home for 6 hours each day (I'm employed by a UK company who very kindly arranged for me to do this), yet Dad needs so much assistance and someone with him all the time that I find myself either looking after him while mum does other things that need to be done or vice versa, and by the time I get to work I'm already 8hrs into my day and too exhausted to do anything! I had also planned to get my own flat while I'm here so that I mantain my independence and space and give mum & dad theirs, but also because I'm worried that mum will get used to having me here and that after dad passes away, it will be even harder for her when I leave...does that make sense? But now, I'm not sure I can move out as I don't think mum can cope on her own, it's too much for one person to cope with....aarrgghh...I just don't know what to do. I guess I just need to wait for these results and then make my decision, maybe I'm worrying unecessarily...

Sorry for ranting.

Thinking of you all and hope you're OK.

Sam.x

vintage · Regular Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Posts: 35 Location: Minnesota

Hi Sam~ Sorry things are getting harder. Do you have hospice care available there? Or anykind of in home aid? Maybe check on that. At the
stage he's at now, it is only going to get harder. I don't say that to be cruel, just want you to try and prepare.
Keep me posted.....I'll be praying for you.
Kevan

Chain · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 2:07 am Post subject: Re: Hi, new here

Now that my thread has been well and truly hijacked, I think I shall go elsewhere.

All the best.

brainman · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:58 pm Post subject: Let's start new threads

This topic (thread) is soooo long that it is hard to follow the flow of the dialogue. Let me suggest that if you wish to continue, start a new thread with YOUR own story. I will lock this thread. Very Happy

Thank you for your cooperation and participation Wink

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My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
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