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doxdad
New User
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 11:19 am Post subject: I must not have looked far enough... |
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My wife's breast cancer returned after a valiant round of treatment a year and a half ago. This time it's terminal. Her time left? We're not quite sure. What I do find confusing is that none of the local cancer resources seem to have anything available for patients and families in this position...I'm dying, but I'm not dead yet... Am I wrong, or have I just missed resources? Who talks to you about your loss of job/career, how this affects your family, how about the patient's feelings? I mean, neither my wife or I can find anything. I'm SO TIRED of looking at survivor sites and reading survivor stories. That's wonderful. What about the women who don't win against breast cancer? What about their families?
If we didn't have strong faith and an active church life, we probably both would have gone even crazier with this. Knowing that others understand this or have found resources would be a comfort. Not quite ready for Hospice just yet.
Doxdad |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4209
Location: Tennessee
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| Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:16 pm Post subject: Re: I must not have looked far enough... |
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doxdad, I am so sorry about your wife's cancer. The information you provide is not enough to help you with the first question about how long she has. I know it was probably retorical. What kind of treatments has she and is she receiving?
Have you seen doctors at a major medical center? Often, they have things available for terminal patients. However, in such cases, the "cure" could be worse than the disease.
Has the doctor ordered hospice care for your wife? They are wonderful in helping the patient and family through the end. They can be a major source of support and information. You could also look to the American Cancer Society for the nearest support group. They often keep a list of Cancer Support Groups, even if they do not sponsor them all. Plus, in some areas there are Grief Support Groups and groups for families of terminally ill patients. And, of course, we are here for you and for your wife.
I will keep you and your wife in my prayers and thoughts.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
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Muttsmom
Senior User
Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 629
Location: Northern AL
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| Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:33 pm Post subject: Re: I must not have looked far enough... |
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Hi Doxdad,
Like Jim, I need more info to try and help. There are many types of treatment for Stage IV ladies and I know many that have been Stage IV for MANY years and still leading happy lives. Have they said there is no more treatment available? There are SO many kinds of chemo, many taken by mouth and of course, the I.V. kind that do wonders for keeping Stage IV "stable" or even shrink them as far as where they can't be found anymore. I'm one of those that wouldn't travel to another State unless where I go wasn't doing a Trial that could help. If you have a really good onco, I don't think anywhere else knows anymore then another. If you are in a small city where you only have a choice of 1 or 2 oncos, then that's different. Small areas normally aren't able to participate in Trials, but those are usually only done after nothing else has worked. If her onco is saying there is nothing else that can be done, get a 2nd opinion!!!
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04 |
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Vee Smith
Moderator
Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 789
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:32 pm Post subject: Re: I must not have looked far enough... |
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I am so sorry that you are facing this.
When I was diagnosed some years back with metastatic cancer, I was informed I was classified as a terminally ill patient. It was some time before I discovered that this did not mean I would die in the next year, and that stage IV is automatically termed "terminal".
My advice would be to insist on more precise information of what her stage is, and what available treatments there are that will help to hold the beast at bay. If necessary, seek a second or even third opinion from a centre of excellence.
Keep us informed, please, as cases such as this are close to us all. |
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In
Site Admin
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1417
Location: AUSTRALIA
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| Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:50 am Post subject: Re: I must not have looked far enough... |
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Doxdad.
I'm sorry both of you are going through this. I hope that Jims (brainmans) advised sites help. We can help here too. not as much maybe, but we have all gone throught he same thing. and can tell you how we delt with those same problems etc.
I wish you luck and blessings.
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
 9 Lives and still kicking |
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