Primary Liver Cancer - What do I tell my sons? And when?

3boysmom · New User Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2

I am posting on this message board to hopefully gain a realistic view regarding primary liver cancer, it's treatments and survival rates.

I am the mother of three teenage boys. Their father (age 44) and I divorced 7 years ago. He resides in Washington State. I remarried and relocated to Tennessee 6 years ago. The relationship between their father and I has been "strained" to say the least, since the divorce and relocation.

He called me approximately 3 weeks ago to inform me that "he was very sick and that he needed to come to talk to the children about his illness". It took about an hours worth of conversation for him to tell me that the doctors had found two tumors in his liver. One the size of a baseball, and one the size of a golfball. He indicated that all the tests that had been run indicate that the cancerous tumors are completely contained within the liver.

He indicated that the only reason he went to the doctor was because he had just recently had some difficulty with breathing, and that he had started to experience some right side pain. He is a very healthy person, who works out all the time, lifting weights, running in marathons, riding with a quad club. He is small in stature only 5' 7" and about 150lbs. He said he never noticed or felt the large tumor until the doctors found it.

I need to add that on both sides of his family - his mother and his father - that the leading cause of death is cancer. So of course compiled with this diagnosis from him - I went in freakout mode, thinking about my own son's futures.

I immediately went to the computer and did some research. I was floored to continually find that this type of cancer has a very grim survival rate.

I also researched the treatment procedure that he had undergone the week following his diagnosis. He has had one treatment of Chemoembolization. And at this point, he has reeled back with information regarding his condition. All he will say is "I've had one treatment, and it's all good, and I'll be around for a very long time because they treated me early enough".

I understand that he is trying to be positive.. and only think of the "best case" outcome, but can anyone tell me what might be the "reality" of this agressive cancer with this type of treatment. Part of me believes that some of his attitude is denial, but I'm not completely sure.

As he has pretty much stopped discussing his condition me, I am not to sure where else I can turn for possible questions, that I may have. I am also concerned with how to discuss all of this with my sons (ages 16, 15 and 13). They know he was diagnosed with the tumors/cancer but he just tells them to look forward to a long future with their dad. I guess I just don't want them to be blindsided with something on the other end of the spectrum if things don't work out the way he hopes.

I would appreciate any information that anyone might be able to offer regarding my situation.

Thank you and God Bless all of you.

brainman

3boysmom, I am truly sorry about your ex-husband's cancer and the impact it is having on you and your sons. There is a lot of information that we do not know so we cannot give you very much in terms of "reality." Has he had a biopsy to confirm the diagnosis? If so, what stage do they say it is? Does it affect the major arteries and/or veins going through his liver? If not, he might be a candidate for surgical removal of these tumors. Based on the information we have, it is likely that your ex IS being realistic.

If you have not read this link yet, it does give you some useful information:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/treatment/adult-primary-liver/patient

Unfortunately, it does place your sons at a risk of developing liver cancer at some point. I would consult with your doctor about any medical tests or examinations they should have on a regular basis. However, do try not to panic. It may be years before any cancer will develop in them.

You, your sons, and your ex are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

3boysmom · New User Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2

Brainman,

Thank you for your response.

Again, my ex has been very guarded with his current condition. I did find out that his employer is telling people if you call there to get any status on his condition that he has been given 6 months to live. Also, I have discovered a website for him which was set up by some of his friends, and on this site it indicates that he has "inoperable liver cancer". So, no I don't have any of the exacts as to testing results, or exactally what part of the liver these tumors are affecting.

I just wish for their sakes he would give me some information. I just don't want to be left answering all the questions that I don't have any answers to.

Again, thank you for your insight and for having a place for people like me to hopefully find some kind of answers..

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