I'm feeling guilty..should we look for a 2nd opinion?

Cisco's Daughter · Regular Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 19

Ever since my dad was diagnosed last week with stage 4 HCC, it seems that we just swallowed the prognosis hook, line & sinker. We were told basically that there isn’t any hope for my dad and we should enjoy our time with him in his last weeks to months. Shouldn’t we get another opinion? What about these other procedures people are getting like TACE? He isn’t eligible for a transplant or chemotherapy either. The doctors said his cancer has spread too much for that. My dad is now getting his will done & getting his funeral plans together. Are we giving up too soon?? How do you go about getting a 2nd opinion? Does insurance cover that?

My guilt is eating me up, I can't sleep thinking that I should be doing more!

Still Keeping Faith · Regular Joined: 15 Jan 2007 Posts: 15 Location: California

Hi Cisco's daughter,

My experience tells me that if you feel the need to seek a second opinion, then by all means do it! The decision will ultimately be up to your dad if he wants to go through with the second opinion or not, but talk to him first and see how he feels. Liver cancer is such a mysterious and devastating disease, but that doesn't mean one should give up exhausting opinions and options until the end! Having to deal with insurance (especially HMO) is a whole other battle.

My dad was diagnosed with HCC late 10/06. We never knew the stage of his cancer, but the tumor that invaded his liver was enormous (was initially 19 cm) and we were initially told there were no viable treatment options and then possible surgery only to be later told that the cancer had spread and hospice was our only option. By then, it was early 2/07 and my father was beginning to get weak and there were signs of physical deterioration, but we were not willing to give up the fight. I searched the internet frantically and did whatever I could to locate clinical trials, cancer treatment centers, whatever search I could do to find something to help my dad. In the end, we tried our best with a lot of hope and my father's will, but unfortunately, that was not enough to beat the cancer. He passed away peacefully on 3/16/07. To this day, I am certainly glad that in spite of what the doctors told us, we continued to fight and search for the possibility until the end with my dad's support all the way. Because of this, we feel more at peace knowing that we did as much as we could and I believe my dad knew in his heart as well.

Gauge how your dad feels and take his lead on what he wants to do, but spend as much time as you can with him now because every moment is so precious and you'll be thankful for it later. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Good luck!

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