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people keep saying life gets easyer What is this ?

 
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Author
amanda
New User


Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 1
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 7:25 am    Post subject: people keep saying life gets easyer Reply with quote
people keep saying life gets easyer Confused I lost me dad in 2005 on dec 22nd . It Was so hard cause for a whole year he kept going , he had cancer of the kidney at 1st and they got the kidney out and found few days after it was slowly working over body slowly . All the time i kept strong for me dad cause he has always been like that with me in life .
but life was so hard but i kept on going for him , he had 8 kids and i am the oldest one . it was me dad bday on the 23rd of december and on the 22nd i took all the little ones to town because they wanted to get dad something even he could just look at for his bday . 11 clock i felt sick and i couldn't shop i said to the 2 of me sisters the 13 year old and the 15 year old i can't shop i need to go home and i feel sick . i phone me partner and by the time he got to me , he took me to the side and said " amanda darling your dad's just passed away" Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
I could feel me heart in me feet and looked around with tears in me eyes to all the girls and i knew i had to keep it together for them and couldn't have them all crying in town . so i did i got them to the car then home and told them .

christmas was hell and so was the 23rd his bday , just kept loooking around and thinking why !!!!!!! he and my mum was good people they had 7 girls cause they did used to foster but then they took them on for life . and then there was me and my brother . i look around and seen mums left to deal with all this . i pulled myself together and acted strong for weeks and weeks and months on end .

Its now 2007 and yes we all still hurting , mum is in a bad way , she having help from doctor , she finds morning and nites hard without him and crys so much , somedays she drives over to mine , by the time she gets to me she in tears Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad and i don't want to tell her its killing me inside , she keeps saying stuff like " why him " and wish they would have took me .

i keep living life as in , get up look at son and think hes going to school me dad would go mad if i let life go down hill cause he gone . but i am hurting and want him back so much but i don't want to tell anyone cause mum missing him so much already Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad and with summer coming up , its hittin me because me and dad was not one for the sitting in the sun and we used to sit in the front room . now when i am there i look round and no dad and me heart is killing me . and sometimes i feel like i am cracking up with mum cause i can't take it no more its killing me and i don't no what to do .

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
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brainman
Chief Admin


Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4433
Location: Tennessee
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2007 2:16 pm    Post subject: Re: people keep saying life gets easyer Reply with quote
Amanda, I am so sorry about your dad. My father's birthday was on April 23 too. He died September 2007 Crying or Very sad . My mother had already died by then. I know how difficult things have been for me... I can't begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. I think you are doing the right thing by coming to this site and writing about your feelings and experiences. I can only encourage you to continue to come and to find support in your local community as well. Many communities have cancer support groups that are open to grieving family members. If none exists, go to the local hospital and talk to a social worker about starting a grief or cancer support group. You have a lot of pent up grief to unload Crying or Very sad. I will keep you in my thoughts.
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/
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