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Living through it. What is this ?

 
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Author
roxi
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Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 2
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:28 pm    Post subject: Living through it. Reply with quote
This is my first time posting anything ever so please excuse any mistakes and I know that this is kinda long....

Well my story is that my mother was diagnosed with type 3C(very late; pretty much terminal stage for those who don't know) ovarian cancer 2 years ago after an exploratory surgery on a lump that was supposed to be "nothing to worry about" and given 6 months to a year to live at that time. She has since undergone another surgery and pretty much every type of chemo they can give her at this point and nothing seems to be working, oh some work for a little while and then the 'monster' (that's what we call it) starts to grow again. She is still alive at this point which is more than we could have ever hoped for but lately I am being told(I live 3000 miles away) that it seems that she has given up and I am also getting this impression when I speak to her and that those close to her can see the defeat in her eyes where they never could before.

I am not good with sharing my feelings with anyone which is maybe why I am posting here but....this scares the HE** out of me! I don't know what to do...what to say... I mean you tell her to look at the bright side that she is still alive and you mean it but inside you are thinking to yourself what bright side......you know the results from the last tests as well as she does.

I'm not really asking for advice here...what could anyone say anyways; I've come to accept that *it* will get her one of these days...its ineveitable(though I am thankful for each additional day that she is with us) I just kinda wanted to get it out there....needed to say it to someone that will hopefully understand what I am feeling as most people I know just mouth the words not knowing exactly what to say....
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