My mom was just diagnosed w/stage 4 adenocarcinoma NSCLC

christa8198 · New User Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 8

Hi everyone. This is my first post. Last month my mom went to the hospital, because she couldnt breathe. She had been sick for months w/what was thought to be a sinus infection that wouldnt go away. She lost so much weight, and really deteriorated quickly. She was a smoker for 30 plus years, she's 51, but otherwise a healthy person. While in the hospital they found a mass in her lung-that was cancer. Thought to be stage 3a, until the pet scan confirmed it had metastized to one of her adrenal glands-so now stage 4. Her lymph nodes on the breast bone are very swollen, and thats why she cant breathe, and has a lot of chest pain. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks, underwent a lung surgery,which removed some of the cancer in her lung. Now shes home,stays pretty much in one chair all day- uses a walker to get to the bathroom or bed, because she says she's dizzy and light headed. She is on oxygen 24/7, is on a steroid-prednisone, darvocet for pain, breathing solutions in a nebulizer,antacid w/lidocain to numb the esophogus because the darvocet isnt taking care of the pain. She has had 9 radiations. And 2 chemotherapies. I see her every day, and help her as much as I can w/showers, and meals, and doing her hair and nails...stuff like that. However I cant be there for long periods because I am 28, and have a family of my own to take care of-a husband and 3 children. With al those medicines and the treatments we dont know why shes not improving w/breathing. We havent been given a time frame for how long she has. Such an awful thought,but lingers in my mind. I love her so much--she is my best and really only friend. I ask her so many questions about raising my family,cant imagine life w/o her. Anyone have any thoughts or ideas?

fatherson · Regular Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 29 Location: Nottingham

Its very very hard, i know. Unfortunetly there are no miracle awnsers, its such a deep and personal thing...and everyone deals with the issues in different ways.
I lost my dad in december and like you said about your mom, he was and is my best friend. I just cherished our time and tried to be as normal, being cheeky and stuff, so as not to scare him.
I think about him all the time and the one comfort i have is that he is at perfect peace....life is the hard part....and dealing with the pain of it all.
However, you sound like a very strong person and i applaud you...because your a mother and that is a blessing, be strong for your kids and just pass all you learn from your mom to them. I hope things get better but if the worst happens just take all those positives and pass them down to your children.
I wish my dad could have seen my future children but you just keep the flame alive when you lose someone...there always watching and everytime i look in the mirror, is see my dad.
I hope im not coming across too morbid in my reply, just sharing my experience...your not alone and were all here for each other.
Like i said, you sound amazingly strong and i give you my prayers and wishes. i hope you and your mom can find comfort in the time ahead.
Love, Andy.....go hug your mom and kids!!!
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Time is a virtue, spend it wisely.

christa8198 · New User Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 8

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. It helps. I saw my mom today and she says shes feeling good today. She says yesterday was a terrible day. We meet with her radiation oncologist today,so see what she says on my moms progress. I hope its good news. Sorry about your dad. I cant imagine going through that. I hope I dont have to for many years. Thank-you again.

Zress

Christa... It is so hard and I can't say i understand. all that i can say is love lasts forever. your time is precious. Those questions you ask of your mother will guide you forever. don't imagine life without her thats this huge blackhole in your mind that you will come to when the time comes. stay away from that look at the strength your mother shows you lok at the time you have. love that and love your mother. theres no easy way to lose. I don't know if your Religious or not but i find solice in the fact that my mom is free of suffering waiting for the day were reunited.
i'm new hear as you are but i offer you my prayers and my ears. theres no words. infact i don't want to be part of a society that has a word to describe the pain of watching your lovedone die. some times we just have to lissen.

and thats what i'll offer you.
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What Cancer takes From Us, We Must Use To Give Hope To Those Who Have Hope.

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