Found out today that my mum has breast cancer

charislouise · New User Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 2

I have just found out today that my mum has breast cancer.

She has to go into hospital next week to have the whole breast removed. I have not stopped crying since I have found out.

I was looking for a site that I could talk to people who are going through the same thing, either themselves or someone they know and any people who have had this done and how they feel now?

Thanks

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 796 Location: UK

This is a great site, but you could also try breastcancer.org which has a massive system for support and information. Breast cancer is well-handled these days, and there is lots of experience to draw on.

daughter1 · New User Joined: 22 Jun 2006 Posts: 2

I am so sorry about your situation. My mother had her tumor removed three months ago. It has been a nightmare for our whole family too. Please take one day at a time. Be proactive. Ask all the questions you have in mind. There is no such thing as silly questions. Also, keep open communications with all the doctors and medical onocologists. Keep praying. Keep in touch.

mssue · Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:44 am Post subject: Found out today.....

Hi,
I realize and understand the impact this has on everyone,Your Mum is probably afraid too! As difficult as it is the more information she has, the better decisions she will be able to make to get her through this.Have they already done a biopsy?There is alot of information out there ,not only for the patient but for the caregivers too. Depending on the stage of the cancer(this is usually determined by the biopsy) and armed with info. she and her health care team can decide what will be the best course of action to take. None of it is easy-Question though, will she be having reconstructive surgery done also?I bring this up because it can be done during the same procedure(mastectomy)and they can do skin sparing surgery which would probably be better for her in the long run.Some people wait to get the procedure done and some never have it done,I'm in the latter group.There are alot of different things going on now ,making it easy to get confused.It would be a good idea if when she goes to the Doctor someone accompanies her,in this whirlwind we are scared and anxious and don't always get everything-writing down any questions she may have will help things go smoother too.It's a life altering experience,some good and some not so good, but it can usually be managed with the help and understanding of Family,friends,co-workers and a good health care team. It's ok to cry and be upset-stomp Your feet and have a fit,You'll feel better when You get it out.Keep the lines of communication open,alot of times just knowing someone is there is a comfort in itself.My thoughts and prayers are with You and Your Family.
God Bless You!
_________________
Sue
Age-44
DX-8/29/2003
Stage 1 - ER/PR-,HER2-NU+
Infilterating Ductal Carcinoma
Modified Radical Mastectomy/Left-side
4 Rounds of A/C-completed 1/2004

want2know · Regular Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Posts: 11

hi. feel so sorry and sad for you to learn this. hope your mother gets well, and that her treatment goes on fine.

Merrianne · New User Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Posts: 2

Hey girl. Power to the women. It is so amazing, and you will see, if your mother and yourself already have a good connection, which it seems you do...... this will only make you more strong and an incredible alliance towards the "stupid cow" called cancer. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, 6 years ago. I was on an international road tour, my mother didn't want to tell me. she knew what I would do. So, when I came off the road for a 2 week hiatus, she told me. She had known for two months. So, after I had a fit for her waiting so long to tell me, I resigned from my position, and found a nice 2-bedroom apt for us. My parents have been divorced since I was 7. So it has always been she and I. Not sure if you are familiar with the song by Helen Reddy "You and Me Against the World". That is our song. She went through 5 surgeries, a mastectomy, 6 months of chemo, she brought home every three weeks, followed by 6 months of radiation. she has been clean for 6 years. She went in for her check-up, last week.
He cancer marker has remained at 36 since the treatment. It was at 550 on this last Friday. You will find out about the markers and such as you go along. But, needless to say, more than likely we are in for a new battle. We cried, we laughed, we are mad, and now, I am ready to help her fight again. There is no controlling the emotions you both will be feeling, but the most important thing is to remain a support for each other. My mom kept getting confused with all the research. So that is where I came into being the most help. I would read and read and read, and then explain to her what I had found. also, it helped with knowing and expressing questions to the dr. / oncologist. It is soooo much to wrap your head around , DO NOT get discouraged.
My mom, bless her heart, her mind was so blown, as well as my own, but I was able to step up and be the strong one, ask the questions my mom didn't want to think about much less ask. So remember, at 35 to begin having your own breast exams, as well as giving yourself your own exams, and keep in mind you mother will be going through all kinds of changes with the therapy she will be doing, she may not always be herself, but you can and will be her support. I did attend a few meetings for cancer support groups, and found that is does help.
But I found jut researching and reading as much as possible throught out, helped me to come to terms with it, and to explain to other family members, and well wishers. Please feel free to email me, and keep in contact with me.
I am 35 years old, married 3 years ago, and have an incredible 15 month old son.
With her counts coming back as they did Friday, she will go in for her PET scan on Wednesday, and I will return with her to her oncologist on Friday 7/28 to see where we are, and what will need to be done, if anything. Don't lose faith, and Live Strong!
Best to you both..........
Merrianne

budwig reader · Regular Joined: 08 Oct 2006 Posts: 13

If your mother is still alive, and in any condition that she might be in, I think I know how to save her. THIS IS A MUST READ POST!!! it could be the difference between life and death. Type "Budwig" in to Google, and read about her natural cure to cancer. It sounds rediculous, but has cured many people. She is Germany's most renouned scientist, and has been nominated for 6 nobel prizes. Her cure is a diet of cottage cheese and flax oil. Please read this.
Thank you

lethalpt · New User Joined: 27 Jan 2007 Posts: 7

Try breastcancer.org they have very good info.

Bye
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melissasd50 · Regular Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 21

facingourrisk.org is another fabulous site. I am sorry for you and your mom, but believe me, between all these sights you will find courage, strength and (most importantly) knowledge from some incredibly strong, fierce women!
mleissa~
_________________
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lottylou17 · New User Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 1 Location: perthshire

i found outfour years ago my mum had cancer and i know it hurts but the best thing to do is try and stay positive about things dont let it get you down. at times you will think about it and want to cry. speak to a good friend that you can trust and know that wont take the mick about you being scared. my mum told me and my brothers about her and we burst out crying, we looked at her and thought we have to be strong for her sake. be there when she needs a shouldes to cry on and someone to talk to about things luv lottylou17

Cindy · Senior User Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 167

Charis...do you have an update on your mum? How are you doing, as well? Would love to hear from you to see how things are going, to date. Take care of you.

Cindy
_________________
Where is the cure???
www.truefacesofbreastcancer.org
www.diepbreastreconstruction.org
www.bcsisters.org/forum
www.mybreastcancerstore.com

niamhiepie · New User Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 1

My mam was diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks ago. She was in hospital all last week and had a partal masectomy. She came home yesterday and is very sore. Chemo is starting in April for 4 months, I am so scared and alone. Has anyone else been through this process? Some people have told me that having chemo first for that long is not very positive....please help

rose8

hi i am a mum with breast cancer telling my daughter was the hardest thing and then telling my mum My daughter cannot handle when i speak about it so now i am really cheery for everyone and when they see me cheery they are both okay we now joke about my wigs and my love of handbags has the new excuse i have cancer so ill have a wee treat i now find that this is all helping me to cope so keep cheery for your mum but remember she will have bad days and tell her she is allowed to have bad days It is hard to discuss with family the feelings you have as they are just as devastated as you are but the nurses at the hospital will explain anything they are a great support to familys I am half way through my chemo then i will have radiotherapy and then we will have a wig party and all reinvent ourselves Good luck to your mum and to you and if you ever want to know anything about it e mail me i will be happy to help I am a bubbly 51 year old with a love of life

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