Not sure what to expect

Sunny · New User Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 2

Hi,

My Mother-in-law got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in August 2005, my husband and I got married in September 2006 and this was her goal to make it to our wedding, and with all her fight, she made it and had a wonderful day and you wouldn't even have known there was anything wrong with her, I was so proud of her. While we were on our honeymoon she got told that there was nothing else they could do for her and she only had a matter of weeks, this was about 6 weeks ago. She went into the hospice for a few days and has since come out and is back home. The first few days of her coming home she could bearly speak and was sleeping all day, I really thought this was the end but she perked up a couple of days later and has even been out for lunch etc, which is fantastic but I cannot help thinking what is going on, she seems to be getting better at the moment and im not sure what to expect, will she just go one day in her sleep or will she get worse or have to go back into hospital - I really don't know, at the moment I feel that I am waiting for 'that phonecall' every day. They have taken her off her wolferine (not sure how you spell it) and my father-in-law says this will cause her blood to clot and can kill her, have the doctors done this to speed it along to put her out of pain? She doesn't want to fight any more and says she has had enough of the pain.

Im not really sure what answers I am looking for just some guidence I think. Thank you all for reading.

My thoughts are with each and everyone of you.x

brainman · Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 4:00 am Post subject: Re: Not sure what to expect

I believe you are talking about “Warfarin” otherwise known as “Coumadin”. I very much doubt that the doctors took her off of Warfarin to hasten her death. In fact, they might be worried that her blood is too thin and that she is in danger of bleeding. If it is possible, ask her doctors to clarify this change in her medication.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

rsaraiva · New User Joined: 29 Oct 2006 Posts: 5 Location: RI

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. My mom died of lung cancer at the age of 32 I was 3 and my grandmother passed away 2 years ago from it. She was dx in Aug and died in May. I was there her last few days it was horrible. I was recently dx with a form of appendix cancer myself. All I can tell you is be as supportive as possible. It's a hard road without a map. Good luck to you and your family.

Sunny · New User Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 2

Hi,

I have not been on here for a while but just thought I would let you know my mother-in-law passed away on the 10th December, we burried her a week before Xmas day. We were all with her on her last day in this world and I have to say it was the most painful experience I have ever gone through in my life. I pray everyday that noone I love ever has to go through anything like that again.

The problem is my husband cannot seem to get over it, don't get me wrong I don't think he should be over it yet but he wants to start moving on. He finds himself crying one minute angry the next - I have tried to explain to him that he is just going through the emotions of grief but he wants to feel better.

Does anyone have any advice for me to help me get my husband through this immensly difficult time.

My heart is with you all x

rsaraiva · New User Joined: 29 Oct 2006 Posts: 5 Location: RI

It took me a long time to begin to get over my grandmother. She was like my mom so I know how your husband feels. I still cry and get angry, it's normal. I dont think anyone can really help that pain go away. It's something that only time can help heal. I am sure that is not what you wanted to hear but from personal experience I have found that to be true. Just be there for him for when he does need you.

Please give my best to your husband.

Take care.

brainman · Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:32 pm Post subject: Re: Not sure what to expect

[quote="Sunny"]

The problem is my husband cannot seem to get over it, don't get me wrong I don't think he should be over it yet but he wants to start moving on. He finds himself crying one minute angry the next - I have tried to explain to him that he is just going through the emotions of grief but he wants to feel better.

Does anyone have any advice for me to help me get my husband through this immensly difficult time.

My heart is with you all x[/quote]

Hi Sunny,

Give him time. Unless the grief is affecting his work, behavior, or relationships, he is probably responding appropriately to his loss. Of course, you do need to talk with him about how you are feeling. It sounds like you are a “helper” and are feeling some frustration because you cannot help your husband with this? If that is what you are feeling, it would probably be helpful for him to hear that. Or whatever it is that you are feeling. Also, try to get him to talk to you (or someone else) about his feelings. Good luck and God bless you both.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

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