trouble coping with mom's cancer

Corri · Regular Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 11

Hello everyone, this is the first time I have been to a site like this. But at this point im not really sure what to do. I am 22 years old and my mom is in her late 40's. in october she was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer. she has already completed radiation to try and reduce the size of her brain tumor on her cerebellum. and she has just started chemotherapy this week. shes getting weaker and weaker everyday and has lost all of her hair. out of all the people on the planet that i know, it has to happen to the person who matters the most to me. i have been overcome by grief and not sure how to cope but trying to stay positive for her. I am also a 2nd year massage therapy student. My question is this... how do i stay focused when i am at school? college has been a huge part of my life and this is my last year, and since this diagnosis i have not been doing very well academically.

on a positive note, i have shaved my head and raised over $5500.00 for the Canadian Cancer Society

isidella

Good job on raising so much money!!! There is no right answer about school. I lost my mom to NSCLC two months after diagnosis when I was a junior in college. I lost my dad from Small cell lung cancer five months ago while in medical school. My deans were very understanding for both losses. Go to your dean now, tell him/her the situation. Let them know your education is important to you but that you must prioritize your life and make your mom first for the time that she has left. If they are human, they will understand and work with you. Trust me, if you do not put your mom first, you may regret it for the rest of your life. . . I know I do (she talked me into not coming home when she first got diagnosed and I did not get to be with her until she was on her death bed-she spiraled downhill so fast). Please let me know how it goes. Take care, Isidella

j_white83 · Regular Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Melbourne

Hi there!!!

There is no right or wrong answer as to how to deal! I have been having so much trouble dealing with my mum's death in March. All I can say is stay close to her, spend as much time as possible with her and tell her each day how much you love her and how proud you are to be her daughter. These are the things I wish I had told my mum everyday!!!

Corri · Regular Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 11

hey guys,
my mom finished her 2nd trip of chemo this week so now only a couple more chemos. she is still very fatigued but so far thats about it, so thats good. i only have 6 more exams and 2 weeks left in the semester and i can take some time off to reflect.
i just want to say, this is a great website and the support from you has been helpful.

Corri · Regular Joined: 29 Nov 2006 Posts: 11

Hello everyone. I've been going through some of the other things people posted and i just want to say that this site is a good outlet to talk about things that maybe not a whole lot of people around you understand....
My moms condition has been slowly worsening. she feels the effects of the chemotherapy treatments more and more each day. we have had to take her to the hospital a couple of times now because she was so dehydrated from getting sick.
school has started up again now that xmas break is over. it has been difficult going to school and leaving her. has anyone else felt any separation anxiety when they are away from their loved one??

KDOG99 · New User Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 3

[quote="Corri"]Hello everyone, this is the first time I have been to a site like this. But at this point im not really sure what to do. I am 22 years old and my mom is in her late 40's. in october she was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer. she has already completed radiation to try and reduce the size of her brain tumor on her cerebellum. and she has just started chemotherapy this week. shes getting weaker and weaker everyday and has lost all of her hair. out of all the people on the planet that i know, it has to happen to the person who matters the most to me. i have been overcome by grief and not sure how to cope but trying to stay positive for her. I am also a 2nd year massage therapy student. My question is this... how do i stay focused when i am at school? college has been a huge part of my life and this is my last year, and since this diagnosis i have not been doing very well academically.

on a positive note, i have shaved my head and raised over $5500.00 for the Canadian Cancer Society[/quote]

KDOG99 · New User Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 3

HEY CORRI,

MY NAMES MIKE AND I LOST MY MOM TO THE SAME THIS PAST AUGUST. STILL HAVING A REAL HARD TIME DEALIN WITH THIS BECAUSE IT CAME ON SO SUDDENLY AND QUICKLY. DIAGNOSED IN JUNE . LOST MY DAD 15 YEARS AGO TO COLON CANCER. IM 36 AND IT SUCKS NOT HAVING PARENTS .JUST STAY CLOSE TO HER AND HOLD HER AND LET HER KNOW U LOVE HER AND THAT ITS OK MIKE --STILL CRYING

Kris

Hi Corri,

My name's Kris, I'm saddened to hear about your Mom.
My beautiful Mum was diagnosed with primary brain tumour on 20 July and she had only 4 months to live. She went through lots of pain and suffering, but alway kept chin up and faced the battle with an incredible strength.
From the very beginning of the diagnosis we knew she was inoperable and uncurable, so I spent all the time with her that I could, and sometimes I haven't done anything else next to her in the hospital than holding her hands, caressing her face and hair, laying my head on her chest, and telling her repeatedly hundred times a day how much I was proud of her and how much I loved her.
When she passed away, it was a relief for her, for us - it was so hard to see her suffering. Now I know she's in peace, but I miss her terribly and still cry a lot...
Tell your Mum that you're proud of her and proud of being her daughter.

And, let us know if we can help, you're not alone, we all think of you and send you lots of good energies!

Kris

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