an update my mom died th 17th

justme · Regular Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 10

oh god i miss her and dont know what i will do without her
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JUSTME

brainman · Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 8:09 pm Post subject: Re: an update my mom died th 17th

A crying emoticon would be blasphemy right now, justme.

Know that here among us you are not “justme”… alone with your grief. There is at least on dude in Tennessee crying and praying with you.
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

justme · Regular Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 10

thank you so much
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JUSTME

AwesomeMachine · New User Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 7 Location: USA

Your message is beyond emoticons. It is wrong that your Mom died. People aren't supposed to get cancer. We are all supposed to have our Moms. I hope you come back to read my message.

When your Mom died, she tooke a big piece of you with her; all those memories, being a kid, feeling safe, being loved. Whatever you and your Mom had together that was just for you two, that is what your Mom wants you to have. Jesus is there. He loves your Mom, and you. If you get to know Jesus, He will tell you where your Mom is now. It is important that you know this. I have subscribed to all threads I am part of, and I will watch this one. Let me know what you find out from Jesus. I share knowledge with you. With this knowledge you will be immortal. You cannot die if you know Jesus Christ.

Tom
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If you know The Name Jesus Christ, and you take on His nature, all Power belongs to you.

KNASH · Regular Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 14

i miss my mom so much my heart actually hurts. she passed on sunday. the funeral was so hard yesterday. i know she is with jesus. the fact still matters that i'm hurting. when will it get easier? i went to the cemetary today and just sat there. i want her back so bad.

AwesomeMachine · New User Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 7 Location: USA

I was hoping you would say what you did. But, I can't help feeling there is some other problem going on. I don't know exactly about you, but I do know about people. So, I guess I do know something about you, because people are basically the same.

You seek to know you are truly lovable. Inside you there is a nagging question of who you really are. Everyone experiences this in a slightly different way. Some people blame other people for their own problems. Some people fixate on something that helped them cover up the fact that they really don't know who they are, or if they are lovable; truly. Grief is really all about what we didn't get from our loved one that we needed from them. After the person dies, there is no hope of ever getting what we needed from them.

Sometimes we didn't get what we needed because we didn't ask. Sometimes we didn't know exactly what we needed from a person. Other times the person we love simply doesn't know how to give us what we need, because they don't have it. What I'm talking about are feelings of self worth. I know this isn't like losing a mother, but my uncle has weeks to live. I have known him all my life. I know their whole family, of course. It is most tragic to have a person we love die, and doubly so your own mother. When I heard my uncle was dying, I wept, crawled onto the couch, and was wiped out for a few hours. This is what death of a loved one does to a person. It is incapacitating, always unwelcome, must be mourned, with many regrets, and solitude.

Then you have to find out who you really are. If you have friends, they can show you who you are. If all your friends do dumb stuff when you tell them your Mother died, know that's normal. My Sister committed suicide, and I basically went through it myself. No one in my family wanted to talk about it. All my friends said stupid stuff that really aggravated the problem, and made me feel even more alone. The tragic nature of her death left me without a memory for three weeks. I can't remember her funeral at all.

Now you are out in the rainstorm. You are all wet. No one wants to come out in the rain with you because it is too wet. They are warm and dry with the ones they love, and that is really their whole world. When you try to talk to people, they don't want to feel what you feel. It's too horrible. They don't want all that pain. So they do something you won't like, that seems kind, but it really isn't. Then you go to someone else.

I know your pain. I know what it is like to have lost someone forever. I know what it is like to look back on all the things I didn't have with that person that I would have had if I would have tried harder. I know what it is like to lose someone, and our hearts never really knew each other. You have the rest of your life to make sure that doesn't ever happen again. You can give the gift of yourself to everyone, and just be yourself. You are good. I have faith in you. You reached out to the forum. I wasn't going to post here until I saw the title of your thread. That kept me here. I wanted to help you. I wanted to share your pain. I have God, through Whom I do all things. He gives me everything I need. God is really my only friend. He is the only one Who understands me, Who is always there for me, Who loves me with a perfect Love, all the time. And, God gives me everything I ask for.

By the authority given to me by The Holy Spirit, in The Name of Jesus Christ, by The Power of His Blood, I break all the curses on you, seal off your third eye to the spirit realm, and shut the door to the netherworld. All your demons are behind that door, and now, I seal the door shut with The Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, which was shed on The Cross, defeating all evil, and freeing you. I know you support the fact that Israel is its own nation, the land of God's chosen people. God says anyone who Blesses His people shall be blessed. Now, take the time to say, "Israel, I bless your people, and may God bless them, too.

Go to bed early. Get up late. That is a powerful prayer. You will feel it. Read The Bible every day.

Tom
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If you know The Name Jesus Christ, and you take on His nature, all Power belongs to you.

KNASH · Regular Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 14

thank you. your words hit me hard and strong. you don't know me but it seems like you've know me for years. my whole family has fallen apart. i am the baby of six. my mother and father divorced 14 yrs ago, since then i've been expected to take care of her. for instance she never drove because my dad always did. well, since the age of 16 i had that responsibilities on me. that was tough. but i did it. doctors visits, grocery store, family visits, work, etc....... and i was only 16. i would do it all over again. but the point i'm trying to make is that she wasnt financially able to do those things. i worked very hard take care of my children (8-16) and did for her as well. she's lived upstairs with me through alll her sickness. then she lived in a small house next to me, so i could make sure she had everything. do you think for once that any other of the kids came by? NO. i had a brother who is 40 who lived with her this whole time. i basically cared for him as well. it hurts so bad to know that 2 of my sisters and 2 of my brothers stayed away because i believe they would of had to do something for her. i may be wrong.

my mom was diagnosed at the end of oct. with lung cancer. we discussed her final preparations. at this time i was told by her that she had a 15,000 life insurance policy that my sister had been paying on because she was just too sick to do it. do you know that she had the odasity to tell me that that was known of my business, and she would bury my mother in Ky (where she was born) if i didnt handle the burial site and monument. well i did, which was this past friday before mom died. the funeral home was full of thick air between her and the rest of the family. she is supposed to be a christian so to speak. christians don't do this and break up a family. wednesday morning, the morning of the funeral i received a phone call stating that the funeral home since vicki(my sister) was paying for it denied the charge of opening and closing the grave. i thought i would have a nervous break down. her reasoning for this she said is that if i didn't pay for this she would bury her where she wants too. i even tried to include her of this last week. i'm sorry. i don't know why i'm babbling on. i haven't slept, can't eat, and cry all day. thank you for listening. i know that she hears me and will help me get through this. i just don't want her to think i'm gripping about her. i loved her dearly and would do it all over again. she always worried about putting to much on me. i always told her mom i'm strong. i love you mom.......................... [code][list=[/list][/code]

AwesomeMachine · New User Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 7 Location: USA

It sounds like you are a very hard worker, very loving, in a sacrificial way, and have experienced first hand that those of us who love are met with the ingratitude of the accursed. It is almost impossible to keep up appearances with such people, but I guarantee you one thing, your brothers and sisters cannot love other people. There are situations similar to yours, and I will tell you about one.

My Grandmother cared for her father-in-law when he had parkinsons disease. She had to lift him to the toilet, take him all his meals, feed him, and take care of five kids. My grandfather was a drunken gambler who constantly drove their family into financial straights, to the point where my Grandma actually planned an arson against the gambling joint. Ironically, even though someone talked her out of her plan, it did burn to the ground sometime later. When my Grandma was pregnant with child #6, she couldn't lift Pa to the toilet because her back was so bad. The doctor told her she couldn't do it anymore. My Grandama called all of Pa's wretched, useless adult children to ask if they could help for two months, until she delivered her baby, my aunt Sally. None of those accursed children would do it, and they even ganged together trying to force my Grandma to sign over the deed for their farm to them, and then they would take care of Pa for two months, but she would have to take her kids and get out of the house. So, she put Pa in a nursing home. He was so sad he died after about a week. My Grandma blamed herself. Pa's kids all got drunk at his funeral and just a great time.

My own earthly father has tried to kill me several times. I stay away from him now, but he uses witchcraft to curse me. I can feel it when he does it, but it doesn't really hurt me because I know Jesus, and He keeps me from getting cursed. I just call my Dad up and tell him he is a pagan warlock and condemn him. This makes him back off. He is very rich from all his witchcraft, having killed many people with his spells. He worships pagan gods, and he used to try to get me to worship them, too. When I wouldn't do it he tried to kill me with his spells. I wound up in the hospital like 10 times. I got shot once, had various serious auto accidents, was on life support a few times, became terminally ill on two occasions. He put a spell on my ex- wife and she became a witch. We're divorced now. Her mother is a witch, too. They have tried to cast spells on me, but I forgive them, and I ask Jesus to forgive them, too. Then I ask Jesus to shine The Light of The Holy Spirit deep in their hearts to show them who they really are. They really get mad when I do that. Then, my ex-wife, my Dad, and my ex-mother-in-law all try to curse me. They blame me for everything that goes wrong in their lives, and they want me to die because I pray for their hearts to be revealed. When they curse me, I pray all the harder that Jesus will reveal their hearts, and the corrupt evil inside them. My ex-mother-in-law won't even talk to me anymore. My sister-in-law is also a practicing witch. My brother even casts spells for her. She tried to get me and my Mom to come over for Christmas, but we refused. She just wanted to curse us. Now I am banned from their house because the last time I went over there she said I was messing up all her spells by being a son of God. The weird thing was she couldn't kick me out. But after I left she told my brother I was never to come back. My sister-in-law tried to have a baby, and she is so evil the baby couldn't even live inside of her. The baby died after about four months. I believe it is God's mercy that saved that child from being born. My brother is her zombie, blindly obeying her every command. He is a drug abuser, too. I think he takes the drugs to ease his conscience. I told him to confess his sins to Jesus, and ask for forgiveness from Jesus and he started screaming at me, calling me all kinds of bad names, and he said, "What makes you so righteous, son of God. Don't torment me anymore." So then I just kept telling him the same thing over and over, to confess his sins. He took out some drugs and did them. None of my Dad, or any of the rest of them can stand to be in my house. They get sick after about two minutes and leave.

This sounds kind of like your family, but instead of spells, they use deceit. They are trying to convince you that you are worthless, and convince themselves that they are worth more than you are. I think it has worked. This also is a form of witchcraft. Whenever someone tries to curse someone else by not treating them the way they deserve, as a loved child of God, it is witchcraft. I would stay away from those people for a while and see a counselor. I am a pretty good counselor, and a good Christian, but I think I live pretty far from you.

All the curses are removed from you, but you have to get yourself close to God. That means reading The Bible every day for a half hour. This will remove the temporal punishment for sin. You need to confess your sins to another person, including the sins other people have done to you. When people see a Catholic Priest, they confess the sins they have committed, but leave out the sins other people did to them. When people see a therapist, the confess all the sins other people did to them, but leave out the sins they committed. I would advise, between the two, that you go to a Catholic Priest, because he can grant absolution for your sins, if you are truly sorry for them, and have resolved not to commit them again. But, do confess the sins other people have done to you, that you have taken inside yourself as anger, fear, pain, and ignorance of the good person you really are.

If you will read The Bible every day, for a half hour, and go to confession at a Catholic Church every week, you will get close to God. Then you will be able to forgive your relatives for cursing you with their deceitful behavior, which is all about who they really are, not who you really are.

Print this post. Just drag the mouse over the top, while holding down the button, and highlight the message. Then, when you print, select print from the file menu, and print the selection.
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If you know The Name Jesus Christ, and you take on His nature, all Power belongs to you.

daisymaze · New User Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 4

im right there with ya.. my dad died in 12/05... brain cancer, lung (both), liver, and colon.. cancer sucks and it always seems like the good ones get it Sad

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JeS

AwesomeMachine · New User Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 7 Location: USA

My uncle died this morning. I tried to help him, but I couldn't. He got too sick too fast. He is my Dad's only brother. I'm starting to think about what makes people so special. I want to make a special place in my heart for my uncle where he will never be forgotten. I'll carry him with me, always.

I started to think about how I would treat people differently if I knew they didn't have long to live, but no one else did. How precious would each moment be to me knowing I wouldn't have my uncle forever. I didn't get to see my uncle, John, before he died. We all thought he would live a lot longer than what he did. I had planned to go see him tomorrow, but he died. He couldn't breathe.

He died in the morning. It is always best to die in your sleep. It seems like cancer patients are always awake when they die. I wish I could have told him I was sad he was dying, but my aunt didn't give him the message to call me. I never got to say goodbye.

Now I think about all the things I would have liked to have between me and my uncle, John. He was always too busy to do most things. I'm sure when he couldn't keep busy he thought, now what do I do? I know he faced up to a lot of things during those two months. He didn't have all the business to keep him occupied. (busy-ness) I wonder what I will do when all the busy-ness has to end. What will I have missed in life? Will people be sad I am dying? Will I go willingly? Will anyone say, "I'm sorry you're dying. I will miss you. I have loved you so much." Or, will everyone just be busy being busy.

This life is my chance to find God. Where God is I want to go. I want to be with God, someday. But, every day is today in Eternity. No matter what time it is, it is the present. The present is all I have.

People fade to memories, alive inside ourselves only because of our love for them. Physical life is but a moment in an eternal life. It is the last chance we have to find God. Physical life on earth is our last stop on the way to Heaven or Hell. It is a gift to be savored every day of our lives.

Even in the sorrow of death one can find Truth, Love, and Justice. By the masses, my uncle will be remembered for the work of his hands; by his family, for the work of his heart; by God, for the eternal work of his deeds. My uncle John signed his life with truth, sacrifice, love, dedication, faith, hope, charity, prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. He will ride on the love of his family into eternity, unburdened by busy-ness, regret, ingratitude, worry, or fear. John's new self has journeyed to meet Jesus Christ, his advocate, his strength, his defender, his Almighty God.

It is beyond our imagination to behold a vision so beautiful as Jesus Christ, The Son of God; surrounded by saints and Angels, at The Right Hand of God The Father Almighty.

I will remember my uncle John in my prayers. He is my intercessor now. He knows The Truth now. My uncle John understands all things. He is eternal . He has transcended this earthly life, and grown into the magnificence God intends for all of us, through The Lord Jesus Christ, in union with The Holy Spirit, and Son of God; One God, The Beginning and The End. Heaven and earth shall pass away, but Jesus' Word shall never pass. He who knows this Word in his heart has eternal life.

The living find death a stumbling block. The dead find it a stepping stone. The living weep, knowing their loss. The freed soul rejoices, knowing he is finally home. Neither will ever look at life the same way again. One's loss is another's gain.

Adversity, even the adversity of death, perfects the just man, while slaying the wicked. Death is bittersweet sorrow, but in sorrow there is joy. There is always joy where Jesus is. Jesus is in my heart. I will never let go of Him.
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If you know The Name Jesus Christ, and you take on His nature, all Power belongs to you.

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