franz_ferdinand
New User
Joined: 16 Nov 2005
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:36 pm Post subject: My grandmother. |
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| On october 29th of this year, I felt as if someone had ripped a piece of my heart out. Though there was a lot of people around me, I still felt alone, and I still do. I know that people around me think I'm happy, for example at school, because I laugh a lot, but that's only because I am hiding the way I actually feel. I don't know how much longer I will be able to hide this feeling with laughter. For the week after I kept telling myself, this is just a dream. It felt like it hadn't "clicked" yet or something. I still think that she is among us. I know that she is in my heart, but for the past couple of days, I have been feeling more and more down. I cry myself to sleep, I always have that feeling inside that I am going to cry, I have no motivation in school. Unless I'm at school, or with friends, or talking to someone, I am depressed. It is so hard, considering this is the first loss that I have suffered. I have never lost anyone this close to me. I don't know what to do, I feel that I have no one to talk to. So much has been going on at school lately, between all of my friends and so I don't know who to trust anymore. The one person I can trust, I am too shy to talk to. When I went to talk to him about it, he was no longer there. I feel a little bit better writing about how I feel. I have gotten a little bit of this feeling off my chest, but it still isn't enough. |
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MarkS
Experienced user
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 69
Location: NW Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:51 am Post subject: Re: My grandmother. |
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Hi Franz,
It's ok to be feeling the way you feel. You're mourning the loss of someone you love and it's a natural process. It's ok to miss her, it's ok to cry, it's ok to feel sad, it's ok to feel empty and it's ok to feel angry. It's all part of it. As you work through all those feelings you will eventually come to acceptance. That doesn't mean you won't still miss her, it just means it won't hurt as much.
It sounds like your grandmother played a very important part in your life. The fact that you feel so deeply about her loss tells me she must have been a wonderful woman. Tell me about her if you want. I'd like to hear about the things she did and the things she told you that made you love her so much. I have grandchildren and I'd like them to love me as much as you love your grandmother.
I care. |
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