Hoping for advice

Snotter · New User Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 4

Reading a lot of these posts here makes me feel lucky to be so healthy.
My grandmother died WITH (not of) cancer of the bowel about 7 years ago but she had a long productive life and she was a trooper till the end.Starting to rant now so will get to the point.Earlier this year my father was diagnosed with cancer.He is in his mid/late 50`s.He had a kidney removed and the cancer hadn`t spread luckily but cancer was also found in one lung.It is inoperable but the doctors were confident it could be treated and managed for a long time.He has been having chemo for a few months now and the tumors have shrunk by a third so things look good.I am living overseas and get all the info second hand from my brother who is a layman when it comes to this stuff so I hope this info is enough to get some good advice.
My question is this,I have had a lot of friends who have lost people to various cancers and in many cases the sufferers were fine one day and gone the next.Do you think I need to pack up and go home now to spend time with him?My work contract will finish at the end of Feb 2006 and could it wait till then?I was over here when my grandmother died but I want to be close by in case things turn bad for him.As far as I know the cancer is not super aggressive but I have pretty zero personal experience withthis disease.
Thanks for any advice.

Tompkin · Regular Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 15

You didn't mention what type or stage of cancer. Stages being from I to IV. You should be able to find that out. Stage IV of course being most serious.

Snotter · New User Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 4

Thanks for the reply mate,appreciate it.I honestly don`t know what stage it is
,my brother is really a layman I kid you not.
Just got some bad news today.He (my father) has been hospitalized with pneumonia and in his weakened state things dont look good.Even if i got on the next plane home there is a chance I wouldn`t make it in time.I`m at a loss as to what to do now.

Tompkin · Regular Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 15

If you can afford to go perhaps you should go if you think you would regret not going later. I'm sorry for your situation.

Snotter · New User Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 4

Thank you.

emyahmr · New User Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 7

Hi Snotter,

I share my sympathy to what is happening to your love one.

You may have heard this quote:

You can only live once, but if you live right, once is enough.
-- Joe E. Lewis --

I had an experienced where I was not able to visit my aunties and my grandmother since I was so enggaged with my jobs. Both of them has passed away sometime ago.

Now, I feel so guilty and hopeless because I was not there to give my last honoured to them. I really missed them.

Think about it.. you can plan your time to be with them, have a good time together before they gone forever.

Hope that help.
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Snotter · New User Joined: 30 Aug 2005 Posts: 4

Great words mate.Thanks.
Unfortunately I missed him by about 12 hours.A mate on another forum told me to get back home and spend as much time as possible with him and I did heed that advice but as he also said cancer can turn so quickly.And it did.
If anyone is reading this and if you have a loved one with cancer,get back to wherever right now.The docs said they could manage the cancer for a long time but the chemo brought him right down and it was a host of other things that got him.
Once more,get back home now and make the most of your time.

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