My mum is dying

Vicster · New User Joined: 24 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

Hi my mum was told she has two inoperable brain tumours in December.
She is now in a hospice and basically only has weeks to go.
Her mood has changed, she has to be moved in a hoist, she has become diabetic, she has bedsores.
What will happen next?? Can someone please let me know whats next

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 648 Location: UK

Hi - I am sorry you are facing this hard trial. The hospice sites give very good information about dying and what happens. This is one: http://tinyurl.com/2nh9jp

I will be thinking of you and your mother.

brainman · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:27 pm Post subject: Re: My mum is dying

Vicster, I am so sorry about your mother's cancer Sad

. What type of cancer is it and what grade? I ask because that will greatly determine what happens next. I also ask because it is highly unusual for a person to have two Primary Brain Cancer tumors. More often than not, if the really are primary brain cancers, they are connected somehow... even if it is just by a thin thread of cancer cells. On the other hand, it is very common to have more than one metastatic tumor in the brain.

I assume that since she is under the care of a hospice that she is not taking any for of treatment other than to control her symptoms. Am I right?

It is not unusual for a person to have a change in mood when so many things in their life are changing. Cancer, hospice, diabetes, bedsores... so much for one person to take at the same time. Be assured that I am thinking about and praying for your mother during this very difficult time.
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Prayingforamiracle · New User Joined: 17 Jan 2008 Posts: 7 Location: augusta GA

I am so sorry, and I know exactly how you feel. It is so hard when someone you love so much is dying and you have to see them everyday go through what they go through.

I was trying to find the book that hospice gave me about the dying process but I couldn't find it, and didn't want to ask my dad for it.

Anyway I found this so I hope its helpful...This pretty much explains what happened during the course of my moms dying. and im very sorry.

Sleeping

Your loved one will gradually spend more time asleep during the day and might be difficult to arouse. This is due to a change in the body’s metabolism.

Plan your time and activities with your family member for when he or she seems most alert. Don’t confuse withdrawal with rejection.

Breathing

You might notice a change in breathing patterns or irregular breathing. The patient might experience apnea, when there is a pause of 10 to 30 seconds between breaths.

You might also notice oral secretions collecting in the back of the throat causing a noisy breathing. This noise, commonly known as the “death rattle,” happens when a person is too weak to swallow or cough effectively. It is common and manageable.

Changing the patient’s position might improve breathing, but do not become alarmed if it does not. A change in breathing pattern is normal and expected. When oral secretions build up, elevating the head of the bed with pillow or using a hospital bed might make breathing easier. Oxygen or a cool mist humidifier might help; however, suctioning usually does not.

Medications sometimes help with congestion and shortness of breath. These include concentrated liquids given under the tongue and/or patches applied to the skin. Injections and intravenous medications are rarely indicated. Your nurse will advise you and provide medication if needed.

Body

Hands, arms, feet and legs may become cool to touch. You may notice the underside of the body becoming much darker in color. The skin may turn a bluish color with purplish splotches. Both occur because the blood circulation is slowing down.

Use blankets for warmth and to prevent the feeling of being cold. Do not use an electric blanket or heating pad. Be aware that occasionally the arms and legs may be cool to touch but the person states that he or she is hot and kicks off the blankets.
Body

Hands, arms, feet and legs may become cool to touch. You may notice the underside of the body becoming much darker in color. The skin may turn a bluish color with purplish splotches. Both occur because the blood circulation is slowing down.

Use blankets for warmth and to prevent the feeling of being cold. Do not use an electric blanket or heating pad. Be aware that occasionally the arms and legs may be cool to touch but the person states that he or she is hot and kicks off the blankets.

Eating and Drinking

There is a gradually decreasing need for food and fluids. The body naturally begins to conserve energy and requires less nourishment. At this stage, there is increased risk of choking due to confusion and/or the inability to swallow properly. Difficulty swallowing occurs first with solid foods and progresses to difficulty swallowing fluids.

Contact the hospice nurse to plan with you an alternate way to give medications. Frequent mouth care helps to avoid a sensation of dry mouth. Offer fluids in small sips, but do not force. Allow your loved one to choose when and what to eat or drink even if this means little or nothing will be consumed.

Body Functions

There might be a change in bowel or bladder habits. Loss of bladder and/or bowel control (incontinence) might occur. If a bladder catheter is in place, you might notice the urine becoming dark and the amount decreasing as death approaches. Loss of bowel and bladder control is often not a problem until death is imminent.

The hospice nurse can provide pads to protect the bed linen. Change pads as needed to keep the bed as clean and dry as possible. Your hospice nurse will show you how to place pads under the patient and other ways to keep the skin clean, warm and dry.

Vision and Hearing

Hearing and vision might decrease slightly. Your loved one could have “visions” of people or events from the past. He or she may see things that you do not.

A peaceful, quiet atmosphere is important. Keep a soft light on in the room when vision decreases. Because hearing is the last of the five senses to be lost, NEVER assume that the patient cannot hear you. Always talk as if the person can hear you, even if he or she appears to be in a coma.

ksplat · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:32 pm Post subject: Re: My mum is dying

Dear Vicster

I am so saddened to hear about yr Mum & her illness. Watching yr Mum in hospice & waiting is such a difficult burden to bear.
Please know my prayers & thoughts are with you. I pray she will be comfortable & comforted during the final stages of her life.

Thinking of you, Angie.
_________________
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Diagnosed Feb 07
46 Yrs young!
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

Aimster · Regular Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 35 Location: Nebraska

Vicster,
I am so sorry to hear about your mum's illness. This is a terrible disease. Prayers go out to you and your mum for comfort during this difficult time.
_________________
Amy (39)
*presumptive low-grade glioma in right frontal lobe (first observed Aug. 2007; diagnosed Jan. 2008)
*watching & waiting, but anticipating resection in the next year or so

http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=28526

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