What's Next? Wife has NSCLC & multiple brain mets

Pray4Mom · Regular Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 48

My prayers are with you and your family. Your comment about your wife being "the girl next door" and married for 39 years really touched me.

My Mom has the same cancer as your lovely wife.. she is getting treatment and it is looking hopeful, though she is tired, tired, tired. I will reserve my situation for another post, but know I understand and empathize, but from a daughter's perspective...

I am praying for peace and comfort for you and your family even now.

Katherine
_________________
Katherine
California

mommysgirl

Hi RLW1
I have to agree with Brainman and the Hospice nurse. As you have read in my previous posts my mom just lay in bed sleeping for 8 days before she just passed in her sleep. As with Brainman's mom, mine I am sure died of respiratory failure as well. She was on oxygen at home when we brought her home with Hospice, but that was only for comfort. We also made sure she had her morphine whenever it was time, as we did not want her to have any pain, and the morphine only increases respiratory depression. After we realized that my mom was not going to "get up" we also had a catheter put in to drain her bladder, so we didn't have to worry about the bathroom. It sounds like your wife is still responsive to you, so that is good, but that could also change at any time. I was very lucky in that I had said everything to my mom that I wanted to say while she was still "here" with us, but I know some of my siblings were not that lucky. They thought they would have "time" to talk to her, and before we knew it she was just non-responsive, although I still believe she heard everything we said. You are a very strong person and you will get through this. The greatest gift you could give your wife is to just "be there" as you have been... You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.
_________________
mommysgirl

My mom's story
http://cancerforums.net/about7278.html

My dad's story
http://cancerforums.net/about8169.html

RLW1 · Regular Joined: 03 Nov 2007 Posts: 31

All,
My beautiful wife passed away at daybreak yesterday morning. Only 42 days from diagnosis of nsclc & brain mets. Thursday was indeed the beginning of the end. Over the weekend, she slept almost continuously (and hard), and stopped eating and drinking. Thankfully, she was not in pain since she wasn't able to drink to swallow a loritab during the last day. Yesterday morning, I told her again that it was ok for her to go. She opened her eyes, took two soft breaths and was gone. She was at peace, in our bed at home with our dog and myself at her side. The way she wanted it. I thank God for that. May God's peace and mercy be with each of you too.

mimi80 · Regular Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 15

I am very sorry to hear about your wife. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. Please accept my deepest condolences.

mimi

flux169 · New User Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 2

I am so sorry to hear it.
Be strong and keep prayin'
Leave everything to God.

mommysgirl

RLW1
I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I knew it would be soon. I am glad to hear she went so peaceful. I will be praying for you as you lay the light of your life to rest, as this will be a difficult week for you. You are in my thoughts
_________________
mommysgirl

My mom's story
http://cancerforums.net/about7278.html

My dad's story
http://cancerforums.net/about8169.html

ksplat

Dear RLW1
Firstly I wanted to thankyou for sharing this incredibly inspiring & sad journey you have been on with your darling Wife.
May I extend my sympathies to you on the passing of your darling wife.
You have shown us all such strength, the power of your love, devotion & empathy with your postings. You have inspired us all.
The last days & final hours happened exactly as you had wanted & I am thankful for this.
May God bless you & yours during this sad time. Thankyou again for your inspiration.
Cheers, Aussie Angie.

“His Love—It Came Walking Softly In Silver Sandals And Took Her Gently Away.”
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

RLW1 · Regular Joined: 03 Nov 2007 Posts: 31

It's 3 days since my wife passed and I still break out in tears from time to time. Can't control it. Our dog still sits in the front window watching for her to come home. Both of us miss her so. My faith is intact, but I go thru the day on autopilot, numb. Physically I survive, but cancer killed a bit of me too, maybe the best part. PBJ, you never said how really hard it is "after" but that's ok. I could not have understood it anyway.
I started this thread asking "what's next." I still don't know the full answer.

In

RLW1,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Wife. She has gone to a better place and is needed else where. I'm relieved that she past by your side with your child-dog. So peacufuly too.

It takes time, and I think you never get over it. But i do believe it gets easier. Easier to get out of bed of a morning. Easier to breathe and moved that deep lump there at the back of your throat-always ready to choke you. Easier to remember to be strong and eat. Easier to remember her.
Her smile, her love, her little ways. Then one day- you can smile at it all, feel some sadness. BUT know that you've had love, been loved, and always have an Angel by your side.

Take Care, and remember we are here....
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

ksplat · Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: Coping

Dear RLW1,
I know it's a cliche but you have to give yourself lots of time & plenty of space for your grieving.
Writing your fellings on this forum will help too so don't be a stanger around here.
I lost my Dad last year & the grieving continues, but my heartache for him gone, doesn't cripple me these days! Just an ache & twinge when I remember him & relate him to different experiences of mine since he passed away.
Only yesterday I felt him with me & it was so joyful it's hard to describe in words. I was swimming at the beach with my 2 boys & taking them out deep in the surf behind the breakers & holding their hands & lifting them up over the smooth swelling waves. It was a beautiful day in so many ways. My Dad was there too (he used to do this kind of stuff with us as kids). I was carefree for the day.
I hope the darkness you are feeling now, for the loss of your wife & soul mate, will lift soon, so that when you think of her your heart will soar, & you can feel the power of the love & memories you held together.
Thinking of you. Aussie Angie.
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227

"Without Faith We Have Nothing"

brainman

RLW1, I am very sorry about your wife's death Sad

. I do not know how I could have mist your post about it 3 days ago. It breaks my heart to hear this news. You are very much in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

pbj11 · Site Admin Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 1302

RLW,

I'm so very sorry to hear of your wife's passing. Too young, too quick. I'm glad it was peaceful. That will carry you a long way during your grief. It's almost two months for me, so I know how hard this time is for you.

May God bless and keep you close in his loving arms now.

PBJ

RLW1 · Regular Joined: 03 Nov 2007 Posts: 31

A simple "what's next" was really not so simple a question.
When my wife was diagnosed, I wanted to "know" what was going to happen to her. That was my fear asking.
When my wife died, I wanted to "know" what was going to happen to me. That was also my fear asking.
I don't ask "what's next" anymore. I get up every morning and find out just like everyone else. I am unafraid and living my life with whatever God has in store for me.
Throughout the last 10 weeks, I have formed an attachment to this website and those who share their fears, hopes, prayers and good wishes on its pages. Thank you all for caring. When appropriate, I will try to repay your kindness by sharing my thoughts and experience with others.
RLW

Pray4Mom · Regular Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 48

Wow, I had not logged in for awhile. I am so sorry to hear you lost the love of your wife. You are a precious soul and a godly man. I pray you feel great comfort, as well as you and your children during this time. Your story goes before me as I love someone close to me with lung cancer.

Most people never experience such a love you shared.

May God continue to sustain you with his peace and love, always.
_________________
Katherine
California

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