My mother is asking for peace of mind in the final stages

Danabw

My mother is in the final stages of her life. When she is awake she keeps saying 'let's go, I'm ready'. She asks for her shoes and her purse and says she has to go outside to wait. The continuous care nurse told her she had to wait where she was so they would know where to find her. Tonight she asked the nurse to help her. She said 'Please, you have been so kind'. When she asked what she wanted Mom said 'peace of mind'.
I immediately asked the nurse to pray that for her.
First of all, my mother is a Christian. She has told us while she was lucid that she was ready to be with the Lord. Everyone in the family has told her that she can go and that we are all going to be taken care of. There were 2 unresolved family issues that were resolved yesterday and we thought that would give Mom the peace to pass on.
I am racking my brain trying to figure out what is holding her back but maybe this is not something I can.
For 2 days whenever Mom looks at me she just looks away. I don't understand because we have been so close and I have been her primary caregiver for 5 weeks. It's like she can't look at me at all. I know the cancer has messed with her mind but it still hurts. I'm beginning to feel like it has something to do with me.
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Dana

brainman

Dana, I do not know exactly what is going on with your mother, however, in many cases when someone is very, very sick and about to die they lose their ability to think straight... a form of dementia takes over their thought processing. They think like little children and need to be cared for as you would care for a child. Do not blame yourself or anyone for what your mother is thinking. Just try to stay with her in the moment. My mother had brain cancer and also had times of confusion. Often, all we needed to do was remind her about the whats, wheres, whos, and whens to get her back. Eventually, all we could do is to hold her hand and in a calm voice say: "Mom, I am right here with you. Lay back and try to relax. There is nothing to worry about."

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

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