Cancer Forums - Coping and Support

Ellie10 · New User Joined: 23 Apr 2007 Posts: 4

Hi Everybody

This is my first time accessing this forum. My Mum was recently diagnosed with firstly, melanoma lung cancer. Secondly, melanoma bowel/stomach cancer and there is a new lump on her back. Mum's diagnosis only came earlier this year in January and it has been a struggle ever since. Mum's time frame is unknown, but with new sites being discovered quite regularly I am not positive for her being here for a lengthy period. I am the power of attornery and at some point will need to make a decision regarding her ongoing health care, as well as start preparing for her death. The oncolcogist has said that there is nothing that can be done as she is an immunocomprimised patient. This year has been a massive shock to me and my Dad. Crying or Very sad

brainman · Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:51 pm Post subject: Re: Hi

Ellie, I am so sorry about what you, your mother, and the rest of your family are going through. My mother died of brain cancer 8 years ago. It is not an easy thing to face. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Keep us posted.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

csweens · Regular Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 29

Hi Ellie -
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom - I've just started down the same road with my Dad - it's really frightening - after the initial shock wears off I think you run the gambit of emotions - I'm on anger at the present moment.....
I wish for you and your Dad the strength to move forward - spend as much time with them both as you can - it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to face in my life - go hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to....
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take Care
Cindy

brainman · Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 2:36 pm Post subject: Re: Hi

Just a shot note, Ellie, to let you know that I continue to think about and pray for you and your mother.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Ellie10 · New User Joined: 23 Apr 2007 Posts: 4

Well, only after a short time since being told of the initial diagnosis, she is gone. It still seems so surreal. In one aspect this is a positive as she isn't riddled with cancer or in pain, but it still doesn't take the shock away. I really wasn't ready for her to go as there was still so much that needed to be arranged. It was the pnuemonia that took her in the end. I really never knew how much upheavel and heartache there is when someone passes in terms of bank accounts, bills etc and the funeral is just horrid. Sad

Still Keeping Faith · Regular Joined: 15 Jan 2007 Posts: 14 Location: California

Hi Ellie,

I'm so sorry about your recent loss! I certainly feel what you're going through because I recently lost my dad on 3/16/07 to primary liver cancer, but I think it was the pneumonia that just expedited his death. I remember it so vividly I was just talking to my father that Thursday morning and even said good night to him Thursday night. Tried waking him up Friday morning and he just never woke up so in a sense, we're grateful that he went peacefully. On the other hand, it's still hard to believe that he's gone.

Even now, I have my good days and bad days but I miss my dad terribly! I know everything is still so raw right now and it's been difficult adjusting to the loss, but I have to believe that in time, I will learn to live with the loss. And hopefully you will too. I know for my sisters and I, having to deal with my dad's life insurance, bills, bank accounts, etc. after his death was and continues to be an ordeal, but it's something that needs to be done. You do as much as you can and you take time out when you need to. It really is a day by day process and I know talking and writing to my dad certainly helps those rough days be a little more bearable. Just remember to rely on whatever support you can and take care of yourself!

Still keeping faith

brainman · Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 2:59 pm Post subject: Re: Hi

Ellie, I am also so sorry about your mother's death Sad

. How are you doing? I am still adjusting to the loss of my father last September. It is so hard to accept that he is gone. Your mother did go very fast after first diagnosis. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Richard Day Gore · Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 10:54 am Post subject: Re: Hi

Ellie,

My sincere condolences for your loss. You are in my prayers.

Love and regards,
Richard Day Gore
_________________
Richard Day Gore

Ellie10 · New User Joined: 23 Apr 2007 Posts: 4

I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts. It has been a hard year for both my Dad and I. But it does get easier, but there are still days that I just want to hide under the doona's. It still seems so surreal.

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