Terminal dad

terminal · New User Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 2

Hi,

I have been reading all the posts and hoping that someone can give a bit of information. I am seeking help for my husband about his father, his dad was diagnosed in early December 2006 with terminal cancer and given 2 months. He was hospitalised to put a stent? in his bowel, sent home and has not been able to leave the house since because he needs to be need a toilet at all times. The doctors said the cancer is very aggressive it is in the bowel, kidneys and liver. He was given morphine tablets by his GP, you can now see that he has a lot of pain, he is not eating much, has had severe weight loss and is sleeping more than ever. You can now see quite large lumps (about 10 or so) on his body due to the weight loss.

My question is are the morphine tablets enough to control the pain to the end as he does not want to leave the house and leave my mother inlaw, who is also not well and also is this near the end or is there worse to come. My husband has suggested pallative care and he says No. The family do not know a great deal about cancer, I would really appreciate it if anyone can shed some light on this through thier own experience.

Abbey122 · New User Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 4

Hi sorry to hear about your husband, i am only 19 so you may not want to take in everything i am saying Smile

But i recently just lost my dad to lung cancer (about 2 weeks ago) we went through the same problems my dads wish was to be at home towards the end and so we wanted nothing more than to give him that wish. He was put on a morphine syringe it was like a little automatic machine that constantly gives pain relief and there was also other drugs i think called medazalin or something similar to relax him, as far as iknow the main advice we got was that if he was in any extra pain an extra dose of medaz... or morphine could be given. anything to keep him comfortable hope this helps although it probably wont...!
- Abbey.

brainman · Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 11:12 am Post subject: Re: Terminal dad

Hi terminal,
I am so sorry to her about your father-in-law. Just to clarify something for you and your family, if your father-in-law is at home, on morphine, AND not receiving any type of treatment for his cancer, he IS receiving palliative care. Anyhow… there might be a time when the pain gets so bad or because he cannot swallow that he may change to liquid morphine in an IV like what Abbey’s father was on.

On a related subject, have you all talked about hospice for your father-in-law? There might come a time when hospice can really be a blessing. Keep us posted. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

roses4evver · Regular Joined: 16 Dec 2006 Posts: 30

Dear Terminal,

I am so sorry about your Father-inlaw, so sorry. As Brainman said he is receiving paliative care. I assume he is DNR, is he getting up & walking around some?

Through my very recent experience Hospice was a TRUE BLESSING! I can not speak highly enough about them. I could not have followed out my husbands wishes if it were not for hospice. My dear husband passed away from pancreatic and liver cancer that metastisized EVERYWHERE. From diagnosis till his passing was a mere 2 wks! He had mild flu symtoms prior, abdo & back pain for 6 wks before diagnosis. ALL Dr's said he had nothing serious wrong with him, just a bug..even with severe pain. A Cat Scan was done of the abdomen and there it was lit up. We were severely cheated out of quality time with each other, but the results would have been the same. My husband passed away Dec 31, 2006.

My point is Hospice was incredible. My husband wanted me to take care of him at home until I couldn't and then pass away where he was comfortable. I sought out Hospice immediatly and that same day they had an electric bed, table, porta potty, and all supplies & medications needed & delivered that same day! They called sometimes to check on me & I had a hotline # to call when I had questions or needed them. The nurses also came out whenever I felt it necessary or even just to talk..THEY WERE THERE! Then 2-3 times a week my husband received a good bath right in his bed. You would not regret having your father in law cared for by hospice at home if family could be with him. In 13 days my husband started with morphine in pill form, 2 days later he needed liquid morphine injected into the ports he had in each arm. The morphine dose kept increasing almost each day.

The point is when your in hospice the goal is that your loved one have no pain, just be comfortable. My husband began to be in severe distress in the last 12 hrs of life, so for 12 hrs he was transfered to the hospice facility where he passed away. A person can have a loved one at home until they had to be on morphine drip (much higher dose that would put your loved one in a comatose state as my husband was, for comfortability & they have no distress This is only administered in a hospice facility because you have to be specifically trained to do it they told me). I tried so hard to keep him home by giving him all the morphine I could every hour as directed by hospice. Unfortunatel it didn't work, and I had him placed where it was best for him.

You do have a choice of having your loved one placed into a hospice facility if there is no one to care your loved one. They would do all the work & then you would visit or stay as long as you wanted. I do have insurance so the cost to me for all the hospice care was "0"...and I got to have angels work beside me for my husbands last 2 wks. I hope some of this information will help to guide you & your father-inlaw. Sorry it is so long though.
All my prayers & blessings are being sent to you all now.. Smile

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