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lost and bewildered What is this ?

 
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mary victoria
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Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 1
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 3:12 pm    Post subject: lost and bewildered Reply with quote
MY father was diagnosed in november with Liver cancer had the tumer removed and it has not only grown back but doubled or tripled in size. He is 6'1 and is now probable 110 lbs. He is losing 7-10 olbs a week. Can't eat and is home now with his new wife. My sister flew from another state and we went to see him (he lives around 8 hours from me) He looks like a holocost victim. He also just had a stroke. His wife won't help him eat because she states he doesn't want her help. He hasnt really eaten in 15 days. Hospice just diagnosed him with Thrush in his mouth. I can't work, I can't think. The new wife won't let us see him, because she doesn't want anyone in the house. My sister and I love are father and are trying to figure out what to do. Do we go back over to him and sit in a motel waiting for the call that he has passed. Can he live without eating for 15 days, does this look like the end or can he survive for another month? It's hard watching your father starve to death, but hospice sees that he can't eat. Are his organs shutting down? I can;t ask his doctor because of the HIppa laws and confidentiality. I don't know what to do. My sister is afraid to go back home for fear she will have to fly right back and he will die when she leaves (even though he doesnt know she is still staying with me) Can anyone give me any information?
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Mary Victoria
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tilo
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Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Posts: 21
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 11:19 pm    Post subject: Re: lost and bewildered Reply with quote
Mary Victoria,
I am so sad for your situation... It sounds to me like your dad probably doesn't have a lot of time here left, unfortunately it seems like you are having difficulty getting to see him. I'm not sure what you can do to make that happen, but I suggest doing everything in your power in order to visit him again. I have come to understand that it is quite normal not to eat or even drink as the end nears. It is the body's way of shutting itself down, maybe you can find some informational reading about symptoms and stages near the end of life.
I wish you the best of luck in both struggles you are having, coping with your dad's illness, and being kept from him. Please keep trying to see him, it would make both of you feel better...
Best wishes
Tilo
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