I feel so empty, this cant be happening..

eastender · New User Joined: 23 Feb 2006 Posts: 7

Hello, I am a new member,so please be patient with me..I just cant explain the greyness and numbness I feel right now, my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer,which has spread to his liver..this was diagnosed about 2 months ago, which was a big big shock to me and my mum,who thought that my father just had a 'touch of indigestion' when he went to his doctor. These last two months have been unbearable, with my dad undergoing chemo for the very first time..which he understandably said was awful. He is so so thin, and I can only describe him as a kitten, so delicate and weak. I held him yesterday in my arms andhe cried and cried, I feel so helpless that I cant help him in some way, I would give my life for him if I could...the consultant at the hospital has painted a very bleak prognosis for my dad, and just couldnt believe my ears when he said what he did. My father is a proud man, very athletic, but now he is almost skeletal, and so embarrassed about his appearance, he has even put off seeing my two children, who also feel unable to see him, due to the horror of what he will look like. Please please someone tell me that all this will be okay, as I feel so empty and said for my darling dad, whom I love so so very much, to see him like this is heartbreaking, but I am with him most days and helpingout my mum, I dont have a big family or any brothers or sisters, so we are coping on our own. My mother and I say that we feel like we are in a dream..please please is there anyone else out there feeling like us? Any help would be so appreciated, best wishes and love. Gabby from London X

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 743 Location: UK

There is little I can say - such a terrible situation for you and your father. But post again on the Stomach and Oesophagal Cancer Forum. There are lots of people who will understand where you are and may well have helpful comments and suggestions, as well as deep sympathy.

My only comment would be that I know two people who had oesophagal cancer, and both are currently putting on weight and doing well.

missumom · Experienced user Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 65

Hi,

First of all, tell your dad that he is a very courageous man. His appearance is that of a cancer fighter and there's nothing to be ashamed of. He should be proud that he's fighting the cancer with all that he's got.

This is a difficult time for you and your mom, but you have to be positive for your dad. I always say, it ain't over until it's over. Don't give up hope. Pray for a miracle.

It all feels so unreal, I know. It's almost like disbelief because it's too painful to accept. Spend as much time as you can with your dad. Support him and tell him how much you love him.

My prayers to you and I hope a miracle comes your way...

Lindsay · Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:05 pm Post subject: A Reply to Gabby

Hi Gabby,

I am so sorry that you are struggling with this horrible disease in your family right now. Have any of you considered counseling?

I am a 24 year old and was just diagnosed with oligodendroglioma last week, which is a terminial form of brain cancer. I feel like I know what you mean about living in "greyness and numbness". For me it just feels like life is on pause and it's hard for me to comprehend how other peoples' lives can still go on normally, when I look out the window and see people walking and cars on the road. I realize that is terribly self-centered, but it is how things seem to me right now.

I sure hope you can find a support system there whether it be friends, a counselor, your church family, etc. Please let other people help you. I know that is a hard thing to accept sometimes, but there are some situations in life where you just [i]need[/i] others. And I would be willing to bet that they will be more than willing to help as much as they can.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers

sincerely, lindsay

eastender · New User Joined: 23 Feb 2006 Posts: 7

Dear Lindsay, V and Missumom, thank you so much for your kind replies, I will take all the advice given to me. God bless you all. Gabby.

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